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Solutions to school refusal for parents and kids

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Old 12-01-2006, 08:19 AM   #1
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Default Solutions to school refusal for parents and kids

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Old 12-29-2006, 03:51 PM   #2
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My Mood: Solutions to school refusal for parents and kids

There is a real problem with kids and not wanting or being nervous at
school. There are lots of reasons, and very few ways to solve this

THere are some ways to work it out, and its against the law for
a child or teen to just stay home. And parents, need as much help
from the schools as they can get to figure out how to get their
kids to school.

I'm a parent advocate, and I help parents work through their
kids problems, and the things that can and do work to help their
kids at school.

Please if you are having trouble with a child or teen getting them
to go to school. Let us know so we can help.

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Old 02-04-2008, 02:16 PM   #3
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Default School Refusal help

Originally Posted by Dmom3005 View Post
Please if you are having trouble with a child or teen getting them
to go to school. Let us know so we can help.


Your message was posted quite a while ago, so I'm not sure if you are still on this board. If so, I am a parent of a 14-yr-old boy with clinical depression (medicated with lexapro). He retreats when his depression increases, and is currently having a very hard time getting up in the morning. He often misses his 1st class, and sometimes he's 2nd and 3rd. It does not seem at all related to what class it is, as he misses some of his favorate classes.

We are at a loss as to how to help him. All our methods of trying to get him up on time have failed. We tried to change/increase his medication, but he refuses to see the doctor.

Any help or places to turn would be greatly appreciated.

-- Buffy
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:56 PM   #4
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Default Buffy, have the doctor help you in this way

Buffy, there are a few ways the doctor and the school can help you.

What I would do to start is go to the special education department,
and the 504 team. And ask how you go about getting a reduced day.

Explaining that your son can't seem to function till, say after 9:30am.

And that you need to set his day up this way. ALso there might be
some testing that needs done. In this way you would request a
educational evaluation be done for a emotional handicap.

But they can reduce his day, by having him start his day later in
the day. I definately in his case, if you can get him to school part
of the day would not have him homebounded completely.

They could add a tutor for say 1 hour after school and do the class
he misses.

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Old 02-04-2008, 10:28 PM   #5
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Default more school refusal from depression


Thank you so much for your very quick reply! As you probably know, one of the hardest things about being a parent of a special needs kids is how frustrating it is to be in the midst of a problem!

I didn't give you much info in my previous post, so this may clear things up a bit: my son (Ethan) does have an IEP, and we have been working closely with the school to meet his needs. He currently starts his school day at 3rd period (9:25am), and the school is a 10min bike ride away. The problem is, when he gets depressed he sleeps/retreats to avoid thinking about what is depressing him. Then he feels that he has "failed", and things just get worse. Today he didn't go to school at all. Once he gets up & out the door, however, he is happy & usually comes home from school in a great mood.

To make it worse, now he refuses to see the psychiatrist, and of course we can't change/increase his med. without seeing her (or even renew the current medication).

So, what I need is some ideas of getting him up at ~9am (or 10am if he skips 3rd period, which is OK). Taking away privileges (eg computers, DS) turns things conferentational and doesn't work well at all. We've tried loud alarms, talking to him, singing to him, shaking him (gently), picking him up (he fights us), putting water or ice on him, having his older brother talk to him (worked for while). Any other ideas? Or any other resources you can think of?

Again, thanks for your help & your input!

-- Buffy
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Old 02-05-2008, 01:27 PM   #6
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My Mood: Solutions to school refusal for parents and kids

NOt really the only thing I can honestly think of is to pick up any and all homework he misses. And to sit him down and say this is what you are
doing now because you missed it. Take away all things he would rather
do untill all the homework is done.

Even going to bed. I would also take the option of going to the psychiatrist
out of his hands. Tell him its just like going to the doctor. When your sick
you have to go. So if he can't make himself get up and get going then the
appointment is made, and he has to go. Have a standing appointment
say every Wednesday at a certain time. Make sure someone can be off to
take him. And if he goes to school say 4 of the 5 days, let him out of the
appointment for the first month. Then in the 2nd month tell him, he has
to go to school 5 days of the month for 2 weeks and he can miss one period
the other two weeks if he has a good reason, and gets his homework caught
up with no problems. THen he can miss this one appointment. But the next
month its still all month all 5 days no exceptions or something like this.

YOu have to show him that you are boss not him. also research the meds
that are available for him. THen go in with ideas which one you would
like them to try. Period, have them let you have a say.

My email is dmom3005@yahoo.com, if you need more help.

I'm a parent advocate in Indiana.

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Old 09-27-2008, 07:13 PM   #7
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Default HELP have a son about to be 13 - school refusal

My son will be 13 in October. Diagnosed w/Anxiety two years ago when we had him hospitalized for school refusal, as well as loss of interest in any activity outside of our home.

Had a good school year last year, little to no anxiety. This year, moved to middle school (many more kids, larger building), will not stay at school. Refuses to go w/o mom or dad, and when we leave building he follows. Has only been to a couple of classes since the start of the school year four weeks ago. Has always been advanced academically, has always had a lot of friends, and has always done very well in any sport he tries.

We are working w/counselors and he is now on Lexapro which we have been titrating up. Still no school. We keep taking him, he now stays in the building with out a parent, but for only one period where he sits in the guidance counselors office the entire period, because he cannot make himself enter the classroom.

We are at the point of feeling like his anxiety has become a crutch, and he won't try to fight his anxiety. He is in enrolled in a day hospital where he receives therapy daily for the half day he is not supposed to be in school, along w/med checks and group work.

My husband and I are losing our patients, we feel he should be much further along by now. He needs to go back to school. What else should we do? We only allow him computer time (his favorite thing) if he goes to class, which he hasn't had in about three weeks. It doesn't seem to be enough incentive. Perhaps we should take away all privledges until he complies. we were giving him video games for going into the counseling center without grief each day.

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Old 09-27-2008, 10:24 PM   #8
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Hello Lisa and WELCOME to Neurotalk!!

I copied your post over to the Anxiety/OCD forum so that more people can read and hopefully be able to give you assistance.

Here is the link to the copied post: http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?p=377993#post377993

Please feel free to roam around and join in anywhere....

My avatar pic is my beautiful
niece Ashley!

Rest in Peace
3/8/90 ~~ 4/2/12
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Old 01-21-2015, 08:49 AM   #9
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Default Teenager refuses to go to school

My daughter is 15 and started high school in the fall. She has always done well in school, despite complaining about it. I just interpreted that as normal school complaining. She is in band and enjoys it. She seems to have a good group of friends and to be well-liked. She started missing school, though, and now refuses to go. She has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and is in counseling and taking Prozac. We developed a 504 plan that enables her to drop her first class and come in late. I thought she was doing better and was optimistic, but this week she refuses to go to school. She apologizes about being such a disappointment, but doesn't seem to believe that we are worried about, not disappointed in her, and that we understand that she is sick and want to help her. But we have no idea what else we can do. The school has been pretty supportive, but how do we get her back there?
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Old 01-21-2015, 01:44 PM   #10
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Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk,

I wonder if something is happening or has happened at school that has hurt her. Bullying is rampant in teenage girls at high school. Same with social media.
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