I've not been diagnosed with this very long and I'm having difficulty managing the pain. GP has given me plenty of pain relief but I don't like taking pain killers. The pain killers definitely help but I have some mental block on allowing myself to take them when I need. Kind of like I'm punishing myself and making myself suffer.

I seem to be having some sort of flare up at the moment. My hands were so painful this morning it woke me up. They are swollen and stiff, what the H did I do to make that happen? GP did say I need to think about my whole health, she said it isn't just my joints affected by this. I am on annual leave right now and perhaps treating my body less healthily when I'm not at work? I don't know.

Anyway, I have no trouble taking the anti inflammatory but the zapain is a real strong pain relief and makes me feel good if I take it. I don't deserve to feel good. The pain is not so bad right now as I have taken my meds now but how can I learn to manage this better?