you sweet soul
i call it the "monster" pain
what you are experience is so normal
it trying to keep it at bay
i hope you are able to take the proper
medication hopefully without side effects
i myself am not that lucky with the meds
to control the nerves related condition
as i had severe side affects
no you are not nuts
and ease up on yourself
if the ones closest to you do not
understand what needs tending to
helping rather than hurting
just make yourself understood
there is nothing wrong with that
you are letting all understand
where you are
and if i may
i am quite scary when my pain is up in the 7 & 8
on that smiley face scale lol
you are human and we feel pain no one can see
that's the hardest
how it cannot be seen my hands do not feel
like they are a part of my body hardly any feeling
left
chronic pain the pits
it robs us from so much

however on the up side of this
i have become truly spiritual
and blessed to have found this wondrous place
with beautiful caring persons
God bless

When I have excruciating pain I am a screamer. I have zero tolerance or patience and yell at my loved ones over stuff that would never bother me if I felt ok. The worst part is I know how much of a grouch I'm being but I can't help it. I always apologize when my pain simmers down because I know how terrible I am, but it still makes me feel bad. Sometimes I count my blessings I still have people willing to be around me. When I'm really bad I isolate myself to avoid outbursts. I just feel bad for the poor soul that crosses my path.

Again, unless u r like us, no one can really understand what chronic pain does. Ive never been a mean person, but I sure can be. Just another pleasant side effect of our pain! On my good days I really like to do as many nice things as possible for my loved ones.

That's the worst part of pain - that it changes who you are and it is a constant struggle to prevent that. One day, your pain may be managed, and you are confident and self-assured. Another (like today for me), you are suffering and it calls everything in question. I can make it through next week, but how do I continue working like this, suffering from neuropathy, for the next 15 years? How do I provide for my children and wife? The pain causes me to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I cannot relex and take a nice vacation. Instead, I should be saving the money for when I may not be able to work in the future. It is easy to think heroicly and say that you "won't let the pain stop you", but in the real world few of us have that intestinal fortitude. Most of us are mere mortals. The pain grinds on us and wears us down. Like I am prone to say, it does not give you the weekend off or take any vacations. It is unrelenting in its demand for attention. And when it gets to a certain level, you simply cannot block it out.

I wish you all well!

Thank you Evantwins.
It is how we all get. One day not so bad. Another day just unbearable and can't think of anything else.

Yes, pain has changed me. I cannot possibly continue to be my sweet, easygoing, tranquil self.
And it kills me that with no relief, that easygoing me is gone. I liked her.
I now am mostly isolated without social fabric or interaction with others.
I never thought I would describe myself as, now, cynical, bitter, agitated, grumpy, resentful,
an old curmudgeon even! This is not how I want to live. This is not a life. This is not me.

So very much how I feel now
I awake from the throbbing in my hips and knees
My head I want to take off and hold it
My right upper back burn
Can't stand on my own feet they hurt so badly
Fingers what fingers
Where the ocean be so vast in its calm
We were only hour away from the devestation
We too incurred trouble
Trouble getting my medicines that and
WHAT the HOSPITAL did medicine related
I WILL NEVER FORGET
THAT BE THE REASON
I REFUSE
Forget about refuse
The last two surgeons said
Loud and clear
NO SURGERY
"To many things going on"
And nausea has become a real issue
No changes in Meds
I do smoke cannabis as ALL DOCTORS KNOW
including when under any procedure or sugery
However I have an additional factor
My gut other than the nausea has a feeling
Something is up
I know me
I FEEL ME
THERE IS ONE CHANGE
An abundance of fresh fruit
and vegetables cannot get enough of them
I mean in abundance
For example if it's celery
It will be the whole bunch
If it be romaine lettuce a head for me
Carrots raw can't get enough
one other drug my pain specialist took me off of
as it did not help the hips or knees or hands
that wakes me from my sleep

NORTRYPTALINE (spelling off)

And the nausea started about a month ago

Wondering if it is hormonal
My two girls get their period
It does affect me
I do not like having to smoke
It is a hit small every few hours
The only thing that helps
And I'll do whatever to avoid vomiting
after my second screwed up cervical fixing
I did not fuse the first time
I think that's because I went back to work
to soon it was two weeks
And a year later PCDF
four months later found my breast cancer
6 months after second surgry
Had taken off my breasts hoping to arrest it
Now there are being tests to rule out my last MRI
This past January either a bone infection in my
lumbar area or matatastic disease (cancer)
Today we start the bloodwork the beginning
of the end of what's going on

TO EVERYONE WHO SUFFERS CHRONIC PAIN
THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE SAYS YOU DON'T LOOK
THAT BAD
I WANT TO SAY
mind you it's only in my head
Want to say
The next te you have a real hard time with elimaniting
number two
Just remember what you just said
Chances are noone other than yourself in the John
noone there to see the pain on your face
A side effect from Meds
Hence the reason for my gross analogy
You just never know
Like my grown up poet Saraeve and epilepsy
it's invisible
But oh when that MONSTER PAIN HITS
all please remove yourself
And leave me in an air conditioned room with a clean
hard surface to lay on
I think I said enough
I'm not out to scare anyone
This is my story
Be well as well as you can be
Love to all in the world
Me

Can you use another method of delivery (e.g. comestibles, vaporizer)?

Doc

have been doing homework
may give vaporizer a try
thanks for input
be well
me

I snap out more often, but my biggest change has been how sedentary I've become.

It's the inactivity that's going to do me in if I don't make a change.