Hi Diandra, I know how you feel. I am in my early 50's and have been in pain since I was 34. In the past ten yrs the pain has gotten worse. I had spinal lumar fusion, I had a SCS installed (did not help me) and I had a pain pump installed. My husband had to start cleaning, cooking, paying bills, etc. I felt so guilty, I felt like I was letting everyone down. About four months ago I decide not to discuss my pain with anyone unless they really understand what I am going through. When ask how I feel my respond is I am O.K. As for the cleaning, cooking, working outside, etc. I just do the best I can. I still have guilt and alot of pain. But I thing everyone here well help us through this and we will be able to help others along the way. One more thing, no matter how bad I feel I was keep smiling. It kind of helps me through the day. Rockport

Thanks Rockport....good advice to keep smiling. And I agree to just not talk to people who don't get the pain issues. When I think back to when I was healthy and pain free, I probably wasn't very understanding myself.

Are you by any chance from Rockport Mass?
I grew up in Massachusetts.
Diandra

This is something I struggle with a lot too. I have accepted the fact that my house will never really be that clean because I can't do housework and I don't want my husband to have to do everything. When I get stressed about things not being organized or the kitchen being too dirty to cook dinner I just remind myself that it's not all that important. If people want to judge me because my home is a mess that's their issue, not mine.

Not being able to go out I find harder to deal with. I don't want my husband to limit his life because of me so I encourage him to go out with friends even when I am in too much pain to go out. He's been very supportive about it, he knows my limitations and doesn't pressure me or make feel bad about not going out. I still get depressed about not being "normal", I don't think that will every fully go away. I manage to keep myself feeling well by staying busy with things I enjoy that don't cause me pain.

The important thing to remember: you don't have to live your life according to other people's expectations. There is nothing wrong with living your life the way you need to.