Used to be self sufficient, working full time and very active. Now ... well, not self sufficient, work at least three days a week four hours a day, and not so active when in pain.

I used to push through like most of us have done. But I have found that anymore when I push to make others happy, I can't be happy myself,

Pain has a hold on my body daily. I deal with the bad days as best I can, and enjoy the good days and hope that there are more of them than bad.

I used to say that someone else always has it worse than I and remind myself not to complain. BUT lately I can't help to say I am sorry to others.

My husband hates it when I say Im sorry. He says what are you sorry for? I say for being in pain and feeling like a broken record, same ole same old day after day.

I hope you can find the relief you need from your pain. I haven't found mine just yet. Neurontin and ultram by day and muscle relaxers by night just don't seem enough. Exercise when I can and take naps during the day helps.

Never thought that hiding pain was so much work. So let others know you are in pain, they might be able to take the load off you for a while. Get the relief you need and keep on keeping on.

Oh how I miss the 13 to 15 people on Sundays.....BIG pot of chicken and dumplins, fried cornbread, deviled eggs and green beans !

Don't know if I'll ever get to do that again. But I trained my daughter right....she loves the big dinners and doesn't mind cooking them God Bless Her Wonderful Heart For That ! And your daughter too. We are blessed aren't we ?

I've had 2 good days. But I fear that's over....at least today...always have hope for tomorrow that it will be a good day.

I have a new symptom......my hands are going to sleep. I've read of others having that but I've been lucky enough not to have experienced it. Very annoying I have to say....sometimes also in my feet. But my feet have so many symptoms what's another one ?

Thank You Eva....stay strong

Debi from Georgia

My husband hates it when I say I'm sorry


And I say I hurt and my husband says he's 'sorry' that I hurt....Bless him.

And you are sooooo right.....hiding pain is a load of work and wears me out. But since I'm home 99% of the time I don't hide it anymore.....it is what it is and we all (my family) just has to deal with it the best they can.

And the Neurotin/gabapentin......I was off it about 6 to 9 weeks and I found out real quick it was helping me.....didn't now before because I'd never gone off it. I've just gotten back up to 1800 mg (my personal max dosage) and I think it's finally working again. Really doesn't do much for the pain but really helps me think straight which does help me manage the pain better...that and vicodin every 3 hours.

And I, like you, am in pain 24/7.....some good days and some bad. Mostly bad. This came on suddenly after chemo ended in March last year....I can even remember the day I went to my PCP...May 12th....and she said....neuropathy and it's going to get worse....boy did she hit the nail on the head.

We all struggle everyday to do the best we can don't we ?

Thanks

Debi from Georgia

WOW I think you're the first person I've ever heard say that! (the thinking straight part) Usually (self included), I read/see something about gabapentin/brain/memory fog and/or memory loss. The stuff affected my ability to think/focus/reason/recall so badly I couldn't function effectively or tolerably. I still have after-effects from it (and others) years later.

If only, if only...

[Please don't read anything into this; I'm happy for anyone who can find relief from pain or its effects.]

Doc

You do the same
Yes blessed we are to have
our daughters do so well
doing a wonderful job keeping her
husband
And then again he has been around
when we had a beautiful home
he was fifteen coming around the house
This momma was always known in the neighborhood
Feeding then hot dogs hamburgers and an ice pop
But what is mostly missed are the big HUGE Sunday meals
I TRULEY miss the feeling of a good knife in my hand
miss cutting a whole chicken in no time
Here is something I had to master in my sick fathers mind
I had to peel a potato so thin you could see through it
As for onions I cried a lot lol
Jeez was he a crazy man
There was hell to pay if not done so
Why did I share this
Every time I peel a potato
I think of him and proceeded to peel
"And did it my way"
Lol
Keeping the faith
Be well and to your loved ones
Me

No offense taken When I have to titrate up is when it makes me woozy and I do have more problems finding the right words when on gaba but I do feel better on it. 1800 is my max though.....got up to 2400 and was hearing voices and totally stoned. Probably would not have minded that feeling if I was 30 years younger....lol

Take care Dr Smith

Debi from Georgia