Had a bit of a mellow patch with the constant pain in my hips, pelvis, groin area & thighs recently, so I have tried to get on with a bit of life & been on three visits to friends/family in five or six days...

Figured trying to get on with some semblance of life needed to start being done after almost twelve months of being a recluse, but unfortunately, I have overdone things & now have a huge pain flare up with burning pain from lower back all down to upper thighs with short sharp stabbing pains in same areas, but mostly in hips, perineum & my man areas...

Its so stressful to not be able to escape these pains no matter what I do, or what medication I take... These flare ups happen whenever I try to do anything other than sit around being a god damn slob... Angers me that I cant even so my own shopping... The thought that this is me for the rest of my life is so depressing, I just want to cry... And the fact that I want to cry is so far from being 'me', that makes me want to cry again...

Sorry for the whinge, just having one of those days today & I just feel like curling up in a ball & sobbing again...

I totally understand the curling up in a ball thing.....Saturday I felt like I could just melt into a pool of nothingness on the floor

I also cannot shop for myself....my daughter does it for me. She also cooks for us every night.....my husband received some fresh okra from a man that works for him and of course I had to southern fry it because my daughter has not mastered that skill yet and she's 29

Bad mistake on my part and I knew it......spent all day Saturday in the bed feeling miserable and in pain that the hydro barely touched......why do I keep doing these things like I'm a normal person....we are not normal at this moment.

I'm still on my journey for pain relief and will push forward until I find something that works for me.

Just wanted to let you know I totally get it and it sucks. But we go on don't we ? Tomorrow is another day Thank the Good Lord for that ! and that fall is coming.

Debi from Georgia

Andy,
We're warriors, man. My phenomenal pain and pressure where the brain stem meets the spine, no problem. You flare up, you'll beat it until the flare up calms down again.

In the meantime, we keep looking for answers. And we WILL find an answer one day. At least enough to let us have lives.

As for crying, I've lost count of the times I did, then I feel a little better and face the challenge again.

And you're not a slob. You're a tough, really nice guy with a pretty lousy sickness.

I was a boxer once. I got knocked to the canvas more than once (with a broken rib and cheekbone in the process) but I always got back up. You just took a body blow, but you'll get back up.

Life always throws punches. We just happen to be getting Mike Tyson sized punches. But we keep getting up off the canvas. That's why we'll win in the end, however many rounds it takes.

We've all been there, & will be again. I WISH I could cry; I haven't in years because crying sets off a pain flare in me like almost nothing else, so I have to cry on the inside.

FWIW, my primary coping method is distraction (and a few trite catchphrases). It can get weird at times; it can appear that I'm ambivalent/disconnected to others and everything around me. Normies don't get that—painees do.

distraction therapy for chronic pain

This is survival. Forget what others say/think—do what ya gotta do.

Doc

Hi Andy,

Firstly, I am sorry for what you are going through but can relate 100%.
I get when you want to push when you feel better, and why not? Personally, I do the same thing and know I am gonna pay for it but, I have learned, that is now the rhythm of my life.

Doc, as usual, is right....distraction is what helps when there is nothing we can do but cry....and speaking from a woman's point of view, it is a strong man who can allow himself to cry because so often society is hard on men that do cry but it is a basic human emotion that we ALL share, man or woman, so have yourself a good cry and you will feel better...I usually do. Honestly, when our pain and frustration get so great, what else can we do?

Coming here and venting is also a smart thing cuz folks here get it and there may be folks in your life who maybe are not as understanding and supportive.

We may all be sitting here in our recliners or beds talking to each other but even though many of us are living a very altered life, not something any of us ever would ever have dreamed of, we are at least here helping each other limp along.

I hope this pendulum swings back the other way for you very soon and you are back to visiting the people you love.
Be well, Diandra

I don't dare cry, either...it makes too much pressure in my head.

Speaking only for myself, get angry; anger—focused/channeled/controlled/managed—can be a good thing when one learns how to use it advantageously, and it produces adrenaline and endorphins, both/either of which can temporarily abate pain. It was anger that helped me defeat depression and the need (if I ever really had a 'need') for antidepressants. It's anger that motivates me and (sometimes) gets me off my keister to do something for myself or others.

positive anger

channeling anger

focusing anger

Doc

I spoke tough yesterday but the pain is a ten tonight and I don't feel so brave. seven years going on forever it feels like...

actually, last time I was in this much pain was several years ago. just had negative mri of brain, but so has every other person in tbi/pcs room who Is in pain. but this is past pain.
feels like a decayed cavity that goes from tailbone to top of head, worst where brain stem meets spine.
I didn't even know there was something that ran that length, painwise.
they have a record of me at local hospital and I've gotten morphine injections before, but it will just wear off.
I didn't want to go back on oxy's, now I se no other way. pain is causing too many palpitations, and I'm already horribly obese.
There are multiple phrases for what I'm in lol.

I've been to the ER twice (many years ago) for migraines. The person who treated me (don't know his rank—orderly, nurse, PA, MD, whatever) told me that pain was one thing they could treat; "Nobody leaves here in pain." He was good to his word, but as you say, it wore off. That was ok in my case (I was just there for a 'rescue'); yours and many others aren't so lucky.

As I said, that was many years ago; things have changed.

Don't feel bad/guilty about that—I don't neeed to remind you that even warriors on the battlefield are treated for pain. (Though I can't say it'll do much for the obesity... We've got that in common too.) There are some very sound reasons—medically and otherwise—for the adequate treatment of intractable pain.

Here are some publications by Forest Tennant M.D., Dr. P.H.—a respected pain management doctor, that can explain it better than I. These (short) 'books' have been invaluable to myself and countless others:

The Intractable Pain Patient's Handbook for Survival

The Intractable Pain Patient's Guide to Pain Free Hours (Revised Mar 3, 2014)

Doc