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Chronic Pain Whatever the cause, support for managing long term or intractable pain. |
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01-27-2016, 07:35 AM | #25 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I am lost in my pain
It's one thing not able Or rather just couldn't do anymore trial and error My use of MM Is the only thing that keeps my mind from snapping My pain is so great right now and in the last six weeks a flare up my upper right back I have been without a shirt or anything for that matter My lower back just not worth talking about But the pain is so great I just want to die There is another seven minutes before I start my med intake I have been on the same time upon intake I feel once I begin messing with my clock my body has become used to regimen I do not like having to take any The withdrawal alone is freighting in itself I am under medicated only because I fear becoming a zombie It makes me so bloody angry I just want to die Just knowing my nerves are not calm They are just burning this body up without fire My waist just cut me in half My hands feet just cut them off they do not work upon command I drop everything My neck and base of my skull Someone please just bite it out Just as a animal who hasn't eaten in weeks Rip it out please Just rip it out MM has allowed me some respite I cannot imagine not having it if need be And I need be Being a recovering alcoholic for twenty four years now just drives me nuts Alcohol the culprit for many And there are many who do not loose their privileges to a few drinks To have to know take opioids to give me some relief for my mechanical problems my spasms the small nerves like biting ants all on my back feet hands Taking my meds is a huge mental battle I have no choice in the matter And to think I WILL go through severe withdrawals if I did not have them And yet "I" know there sits a bottle on the shelf Just three shots just three And that numbing feeling just comes over you Twenty four years for what I am screaming in pain Just kill me please And yet I'm not ready to give up the fight yet It is getting harder and harder I have a couple of years left taking my tamoxifen for having the breast cancer That just hit me I still can't believe I had my breasts taken off to eradicate my disease But why do I still feel like I am slowly dying This is not how one should feel Oh if I could explain the horrible feeling I have in my gut It never fails me I know something underlying is going on I still have no explanation as to why the veins in my hands and feet swell burst and cause bruising Go figure No blood runs to the tips of my fingers Or the tips of my toes Only my maker knows my pain And I am scared Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (01-27-2016) |
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