Pamela, I was getting very worried about you.

That is excellent that the general surgeon, on advice from the nurses, has taken swift and decisive action.

:hug:

Pam,
Do you know if the general surgeon think the haemotoma may be from the fusion surgery?

Sure glad they are finally arranging for treatment of these issues. Hope and pray you will soon be on the way to feeling much better.


Gerry

Brought this topic up because Mesh has been known to cause infections. You appeared to be dealing with an infection of sorts. It appears tho that your general surgeon getting involved; thanks to the caring nurse, has figured out what is going on.


Gerry

I was in such shock Gerry I didn't think to ask, I was feeling very poorly & had just been trying to explain one of the many ways in which I use to control bowel blockages from home to the nurse, DB didn't see I was trying to have a serious conversation and kept interrupting & saying stupid things, so I had turned to him and said quite sharply, can you just shut it please. I went back to the nurse to carry on the convo & his assistant appeared, swiftly followed by him. (One thing as DB noted, they are going to be giving me injections now of something so I don't get constipation- why can't we get these at home?)

I think from memory he said the hemotoma is on the spine.

They gave me this injection shortly after in the stomach muscle and within minutes I was on the loo & it was loose / light.

Atm I've had to get them because the picc line flesh immediately surrounding it is now inflamed & I've got a cold compresss on it. I think they would all be happy if me and my box of problems

Pam,
You really were right to the point with DB.......It obviously worked...

The fusion, then adding hernia/mesh.... really dealing with a lot of issues here.

Good to know you are not going to have to worry about an obstruction of the bowel. Seems like you are now getting the attention to very important issues. Hopefully your fever/temperature is under control .

Thanks for the updates. We care....you're a very "special" lady.

Gerry

Sigh and now there is nothing again, I seem to have had my flurry of activity and now nada; dr Narula arrived expressed his concern, left with statement I'll go, you look to be in a great deal of distress...(I'm in flipping agony)

Pathology arrive, they are supposed to have taken blood for COAG, path used her 2 attempts & couldn't get blood, I said it can be drawn from the Picc line but you need the nurses who have been trained. Nurse comes in, says no sorry, she's on plasma - disappears, another nurse appears & disconnects the plasma so now I'm on nothing. Meantime physio turns up & says Shiite you look terrible & I can see your in pain, he gets a nurse who gives me pain relief temgesic (not working)

Main nurse comes back over an hour or more has passed she's on her own, still doesn't connect the plasma, notices I've made my bed - Had to, bad night, blood, vomit, staining and sweating I said I've had my shower as I had to clean up, I know they will be here soon for the coag bloods & I couldn't get back into that bed in that state, main nurse on verge of tears, very frazzled, also feel guilty to have let me down, admits she saw me taking care of the bed. I said please don't worry, we're all in this together.

On-call doctor arrives (wow beautiful lady) she can't get blood from veins in my arms /wrist / back of hand, another pathologist arrives, she has 2 attempts, nothing. I ask for a heat pack thingy, I stick it on my stocking foot. Suggest everyone breathe, wait a moment, enjoy the smell of the flowers, they look at me like I've lost it. I say to the on-call doctor you're allowed to draw from the foot, pathologist blanches and says we're not, I say no but she is. On-call doctor sees where I'm going with this, whips off the stocking dock & while the pathologist is onto her main room with a "I can't get it voice" oncall can't either, & voila, oncall sings triumphantly got it....

Everyone disappears, head nurse comes to my room and says I'm going to call you trouble from now on, but your blood has gone off and they will be tracking it do you should be called down to surgery soon. I agree & suggest given they will need to again knock me out and need a vein, can I have another hot pack for my other glove, so when I go, both hands will have heat packs on & a better chance of getting vein access.

Meanwhile still no plasma reconnection and my pain has worsened..... I'm over this, the oncall doctor came back in a few moments ago & said thank you for taking control in there

I asked head nurse 4 hours ago should I be fasting - no answer as yet, soft nutritional food has just arrived, I ask am I allowed to be eating that, should I be fasting, she doesn't know, I'll go ask...


Post Edit
Harsha with on-call doctor arrive, he says I'll be down to surgery soon, I say to him as the food is there should I be fasting. He says yes. Tick one. I also said to him is the oncall doctor his, he said yes, so I said you should be proud, she is very professional & competent. He says thanks. Then he says, we want to get your numbers right (I have no idea what that means) we'll drain the abcess & you might need more blood but I can stop the methotrexate (makes you go to the loo!!) I'm away for a few days now so I may get you back in to my rooms as I'm hopeful you willl be home by then. (Whew so am I) I have no clue when I'll go home, I hope to be out by Friday.

Nursing staff come in, suddenly there is loads of them, yes your fasting, well remove the food & the water jugs, I ask if the one specifically prepped for me with lemon can remain, and given I'm the one who keeps asking about fasting I'm unlikely to drink it. Everyone agrees.

Nurse goes to connect plasma, I say no, I'm fasting, we all laugh. A very frazzled morning indeed. I can barely keep my eyes open, think I'll sleep. Feel I've won the marathon....

Pam; It all sounds disastrous and exhausting ......gooooood grief!!!!!!!!

haha and the original main nurse has been in and connected a saline drip. 2 more nurses came to give me meds needed before I have the procedure, they give me the 2 tabs & say, oh gosh, you can't your fasting. I looked them in the eyes, picked up the tablets, took a 10ml tablet dispenser & put 5 mls water in it, opened my mouth and poured it along with the 2 x10mg endo. I said I don't care, you've got me on a saline drip, 5-10mls is not going to break the bank.

They've never ever been this disorganised....normally things he like clockwork

Pam,
Exactly what is the procedure you are having??? So much going on. Seems like so many of the staff are confused as well. You seem to be more in charge than those meant to care for you. Does not appear there is any coordination with multiple surgeons...

You previously mentioned the inability to bend in the future without serious consequences due the inability to fuse the S1 area. Have you heard any more about that? Appears there are too many "cooks" (surgeons) and the inability to coordinate with the staff.

Pray things will soon settle down and you will be ready to go home.


Gerry

Hi Gerry, I had to have the hemotoma lanced and drained while awake. It hurt quite badly. They drained about 10mls of bloody looking stuff & than attach a drain for further draining overnight. Initially to be aspirated every 4 hrs but then they got a msg not to touch it at all treat as highly infectious. I told them this morning while the pain yesterday was lessening today it's back and worse.

If anyone were to ask me I wouldn't say I've had spine surgery, not much seems to have gone wrong with the spine surgery and given how gadget things have gone with my gut, chances of Narula attending to the L5/S1 surgery down the track seems very remote. I've not seen Narula today, not much he can do..

Pam,
You have been through so much. Can't help but wonder if the hernia work/repair?/mesh has anything to do with the gut pain.

Maybe the surgeon who did the abdominal hernias/mesh last week at the same time you were under having the spine surgery may be able to get some idea what might be going on in this area.

Even tho I had rectal cancer surgery in 2012; My abdominal pain problems were and are still much worse since the 3 abdominal hernias repair/mesh surgery in 2015. My spine pain from previous/fusion/laminectomy, as well as PN are no where nearly as painful as my abdominal pain .

Hope you don't mind my bringing this up; especially since your "gut" pain is much worse than the spinal fusion pain.

Like you Gerry, I can't help but wonder, however a very big part of me says no it can't be, this hemotoma happens to be in the exact spot where I had the hematoma in 2001 that turned to septacemia in 2001. It is also where I developed the MRSA in 2001 & is the site of the temporary bag.

The incisional entry point for the whole procedure is above the navel & is allegedly where he has entwined the latest & greatest Agrade mesh (of which I know nothing) but having read all the report reviews none have complained of him other than his secretary expects payment beforehand. I didnt pay in advance, none of my other surgeons expect it...

Anyway, where the hemotoma is, - I saw it last night even though I was supposed to be twilight sedated I could see it all, there were 2 & they said they were connected & "communicating". He drained 10ml of yuck last night in surgery & said it was very hard to get out, they closed it up with the external drain & overnight it drained 100ml. But as I said, the aspiration requirement quickly changed to don't touch, gown up etc. the drain was removed at 1pm today, it's very sore, the site where the platt line tap went in is sore, but still the predominant pain remains underneath the skin in the quadrant where I had that trouble all those years ago.

Narula Neurosurgeon a lot happier & communicative today, he indicated depending on how well my spine recovers, he may go the L5/S1 posterior route down the track, not all is over we're his words. He is very pleased given all I have going on how I'm complying with physio & the effort I'm putting in.

I don't even want to think hernias /mesh. All I think of is you and your trauma since so I've stuck my head in the denial bucket & if I have to look at it I will, otherwise, I'm sticking with MRSA has been known to lay dormant in pockets of cells for years long after it's been thought to have cleared.

I have seen Harsha's no.2 his RMO. I am am off for yet another CT scan. They took more bloods this morning, my haemoglobin has gone up and the infection numbers have gone down. All good news. Now they just have to find out what this thing is that's seems to be growing the size of a football. RMO thinks it's another haematoma- quite likely the one I mentioned yesterday, sealed itself off and growing away quite merrrily in its own and without the infected blood supply. She said it is very hard to touch in comparison to other Stamos u tissue surrounding it. So like the other one, it may require lancing but not today, not today!!!.

I know I've said this before but she has to be the most beautiful female doctor I have ever laid eyes on. And yet her boss gives her so much grief, he treats her like Shiite. I wonder maybe because she is so beautiful she was expected to be the good girl married off into a wealthy family (arranged marriage) and do nothing other than have babies and entertain. This child due in 6 or so weeks will be her 3rd and she will have then 3 babies all under the age of three. She is very determined, very knowledgeable. She keeps thanking me because I keep saying you should be doing this that and the other, to accomodate for your pregnancy and you most definitely should not be down on your hands and knees taking blood from my ankles.... and while she did this again today not one person stepped forward to help her up. I know she is foreign and this is a catholic hospital but gosh, I'm C of E, it shouldn't make any difference....

Pam; do the doctors have any idea why so many haetmatomas? This latest appears really large.
Do you think the doctor being foreign had anything to do with not being helped? They even let you make your own messy bed with blood and vomit. Their nurses/help seem unwilling to do any more than necessary. Not sure being foreign or religion has anything to do with helping the doctor.

Sure hope you can get as much as possible taken care of before you are discharged. Still appears a lot going on.

No idea Gerry, wish we knew, I wouldn't have gone through 01 or 02. In the main this hospital has the best reputation across Perth, it's the hospital prople travel far & wide to. They wouldn't normally let me near doing anything for myself previously. The making of the bed yesterday a one off I believe. In other hospitals across town I've made my bed many a time and it's been expected almost or certainly welcomed.

Poor old soul across the way just had a bad fall, we knew it would happen, she's been climbing over the bed rails all night long. Hell of a crash. Hope she's done little damage.

Terrible night, vomiting over 10 times, pain score well over 10 & unable to control. Had to get Emergency response team in. Worst night ever, thought I was going to die, so did DB. Looks like I'm vomiting up blood, they did more scans this morning & took more bloods, likely to have another blood transfusion. Mum coming this afternoon, my sister on her way now. Will update you when I have more energy, hard to type much, can't seem to spell

Pam,
Haven't been on NT for the past few days. Was stunned when I read this post. Please keep updates when possible.

As always, you are in my prayers.:hug:

Gerry

So 1 haematoma was 10cm but is reducing in size, they lanced & aspirated 10ml and then it drained a further 100ml. Then they took the drain out, may have been better to have kept it there a day more.

I'm still in here, I've changed wards now it's nice enough. It a smalller room and I can't use my walker all the way round the room but I just use it to go out in the corridors and to help keep me upright. Anyway I have a zillion tests done another $5k worth in just one week, DB got one of the radiology bills it will be the lance and drain one & the picc line insert probably $1800 each not unlike the July bills, hope we get a decent amount back from Medibank & Medicare as I paid all the July bills up front. I might get DB to bring the bills in tomorrow with the claim forms and post them all off and just pay the gap this time round. Im reminded I have to check I paid the house insurance and the cars all due 10,11&12th October. Might do that now while my mind is a bit more with it. I've been away in fairyland I can tell you.

My regular painkillers doing nothing for this stomach pain, the Nevro working on the upper thoracic which is a boon.

Hemoglobin has returned to 99 was 76 when they gave the transfusions, went up to 113 but has dropped. Spent all friday / Saturday vomiting up blood, at first fresh and then what they call old coffee grounds, I knew it was blood I could taste it, not to mention it was all over me.

I always seem to get the one witch night nurse, she refused my medication at 11.26, got that sorted & then told me at 5 am I couldn't have more until I stopped vomiting as all I was written up for was oral, I truly thought I was going to die, the pain excruciating & the vomit never ending, even after they gave me ondancetron & then stemetil. I couldn't control it, finally I vomited over myself and the bed so the night nurse had to change my linen, I cleaned myself up, I said to her I'd put my dog to sleep if she presented like this in such pain & obviously ill. I asked to see the RMT. I told her, she said if I didn't improve she was to call her & im not improving at all. So then she told me I was too low down in the bed & I was to dig my heels in and push myself up the bed, I said I like my feet to touch the bottom rail, but she insisted & made me dig in 4 times & inch myself up. What sort of power trip is that all about???

Then DB rang in & demanded to speak with the RMT when he came in the afternoon & he was great he charted me new drugs incl if vomiting by injection & if I vomited again they were to report it & I to have an endoscopy first thing Monday am. So Sunday the pain returned & I vomited from 3pm to 5pm, my friend was here so we gave a witness.

They didn't report it to the doctor so no endoscopy as yet, but I've had other tests and now it seems my left kidney is slightly blocked. Not sure how that's happened or what it means. I got transferred to a new Ward yesterday & im happy seeing the care they are taking, the other Ward was good for Narula Neurosurgeon patients but not gut problems. Harsha showed me my gut and all the problems it looks nightmarish I must admit. Either way I still have to have this endoscopy as he says I've got a bleeding ulcer /hernia just not sure where from the external imaging. Narula did say to me, if I'm not happy with anything I'm to tell him straight away, the nurses on this ward don't like him much, but I think he's done a fabulous job on my spine, truly, it's as if I've not had major work done on it so far Pain wise. Everything pain wise is mostly from my gut except yesterday when I jarred my back with the difference in height between the toilet seats, I was expecting to go lower like my old room so hit this higher one quite hard and really jolted my spine.

Keep well my dear friends xx

Gerry, hope you've been ok, you were missed xxx

Dr Harsha just been in 10.30pm... gave me an injection - local anaesthetic 2 needles into the spot in my gut where it's so swollen, said to see if that helps. He spoke to his friend pain Mgt specialist (I might be under a new one soon by the round of it) who will come see me tomorrow, they think I have a nerve tear in the abdomen wall as well. Harsha has said I'm having the endoscopy first thing in the morning. Said he'll be back at 6am, long hours these doctors work.... he's very nice & I feel very comforted by his approach.

Pam; this is unreal. All this vomiting. It appears they are not sure why all the "gut" pain either. I would think the straining alone of vomiting has added to the pain. With the rise and fall of the abdomen hurling out everything and anything including blood. From what you mention, it seems like the incision for the spinal fusion was thru your abdominal area rather than the backside.

I have been dealing with a lot of painful issues. Haven't been able to post as often on NT.

I believed I mentioned my having a Colonoscopy on Thursday Oct. 19th. Am really dreading the prep; but it's needs to be done.

Providing the outcome of the Colonoscopy, I am seriously thinking about getting detox of all opioids and Valium in a hospital environment. Not sure how I will be dealing with the pain issues; but the several years of opioid meds/constipation have just about wrecked my body causing more pain than why they were prescribed. My daughter is looking into arranging the detox, etc.

Pray your doctors will soon be able to get to the bottom of all these problems and soon be back home.

Oh Gerry, yes the colonoscopy prep is dreadful, you will be in my thoughts, it's quite dreadful.

I think the detox is a fabulous idea, not sure if you remember my cousins had the detox done back earlier this year and my aunt last week. All went well. Very brave of you to entertain the idea, it will be worth it though. Billy went from 180-200mg Oxy, 30 Diaz spent 4 days on a ketamine detox, been on pain relief for 5 plus years, now takes nothing once the ketamine weaned him off and then off of the ket, in there for 6 days total. Best 6 days ever he says. My aunt last week, similar but not ketamine infusions to assist, just something else. Very happy she is and her essential tremor has halved to boot...

Not sure why the vomit, I've always had some form of vomit with bowel obstructionism but the ct scan after the Peco prep dye showed the colon clear as a whistle. No issues at all, so it's not making me vomit.

Dr a Harsha came again tonight, as no vomit today no endoscopy tomorrow, (yay) will meet the new PM tomorrow instead, met his nurse today, she was amazed at how much I know, so likely some sort of nerve block for the abdomen.... Harsha hopes I can go home by a Saturday. I will have been here just short of W3 weeks...

Pam,

It's good to know you are doing better. Just wish they could find adefinite reason for what's going on. Glad the colon is clean; I was concerned about your having a bowel obstruction.

Thanks for the info about the detox....Not sure how this will be accomplished. I would not inform my PM doctor of the possibility of going into detox. I don't want to be in an area of those dealing with the drug
abuse that has been rapid in the country. As you might recall, my daughter
is certified with the Drug Mental areas. She actually was on the front page of the Chicago Tribune a few months ago about her work with this epidemic.

My daughter has worked with many of the parents in getting help and working with some of the hospitals to get those going thru abuse into
rehab; not sure how it will go with someone being admitted for medication dependency and not abuse ( I have a cabinet with many of the extra opioid meds because I do not allow myself to take the max amount so I have additional pain meds not used.) Sherry is quite on the "ball" with wanting me to try doing the rehab. Again not sure how this will come about without a doctor admitting me; but rather my daughter as my advocate. Both of usbelieve I am dealing with additional pain due to rebound.

This happened some years ago taking too many Midrin for the migraines. I would take one; then a few hours later the pain would come back and take another; this went on until we realized "rebound was adding to the constant pain of the migraines.

Since being on the opioids, I am on a 2 day prep for the Colonoscopy. YUK!! It just makes me gag and hard to hold the prep in without throwing up.

I'm sure after 3 weeks in the hospital, you can hardly to get back home.

Pamela, it is good to read that things are looking better.

I hope that you will be able to get home on Saturday.

:hug:

Sigh - Change of plan, Endoscopy under GA at 7pm tonight. (WA time Thursday)

Abdominal wall nerve block (??) Friday under GA not sure what time.

Maybe go home Saturday, likely Sunday!

In a lot of pain today, feel it racing up and down my legs, my gut & my spine. Last night pain so bad I rated it an 8 /10. It's quite subjective rating your pain. She looked at me & said you seem quite settled, I thought to myself I'm groaning in agony, I've got my knees on my chest (I've just had spine surgery -not a good plan) so I can be running my hands up and down the front /side of my thighs, my gut as I'm in so much pain. I don't consider that settled. She clarified by saying you seem settled because your flat on your back with the TV on....

Most nurses are just the salt of the earth, some I'm sure are in it for love / compassion/passion to help people, some are in it for the $, it's a job and a 3 night shift, weekend work pays as much as working 5 days a week, some are in it, it's a calling, some fell into it, parental influence & some I'm sure are sadists.

She took my BP - very high, common sign of pain, - pulse high, another indicator, temp 38, another indicator of pain. She said what do you want, I said 1 temgesic please & 1 Valium, she looked at my notes and said oh you haven't had much pain relief in the last 48 hrs, I said I'm worried about my bowel, I don't want to overload it. She said I'll give you 2 endone, I said no, maybe 2 temgesic, 1 Valium, please I'm sure it will help me and help this racing pain in my legs, it did, I slept until 5am when pain in legs returned, I'm sure it's linked to my gut, I've never had it before on the front /side of my thighs and lower abdomen.

Anyway, as a result if that the Doctor came in & said hmm will def do the endo, just if anything to confirm a theory & clean up / seal any ongoing bleeding. I feel relieved to be having it tbh.

Endoscopy showed severe inflammation of the intestinal tract. Nothing to indicate why I vomited up 10 blood bags. Nor do they know where it came from. The haematoma as been mentioned frequently as a possibility... he Finns a polyp which he took and sent off for biopsy. Good rmorning result, nothing there. Still problem with the left kidney, have to monitor. Lots of little gut complications all addded together with presenting pain making it hard for me to deal with particular as I seem to have my back pain under control. At least that's what Dr Gong said today.

No nerve block today, to much risk of infection still as my infection markers still very high but less than 200....

I may be here until Wednesday and the pain Mgt specialist may put me on the Tuesday list for an abdomanial wall nerve block then... (steroids) sigh....

I have to be extra careful of the mesh, hold myself when cough, not exert myself in anyway, and as we know I've been told I'm not able to bend or twist again.. I see the physio every day he says I'm making good progress and I have high, maybe a little too high expectation of myself :(

I even have trouble now on the loo twisting to wipe.... argh....

I'm home, took some talking and convincing on my behalf to influence them to release me but after we discuss all options and with my infection markers still being high (although better) too much risk to inject abdominal wall, the new Agrade mesh(!) & the 3 or 4 fusion cages -(I'm still not sure how many he did- I can't remember) DB thinks 3 & they couldn't do the 4th) wait 2 weeks & see if improvements otherwise return and have procedure, or wait in hospital another 2 weeks. ...no way.

Picc line removed, they wanted to leave it in and me attend hospital every morning for injections, I said you can give me the Antibiotics & Pantoprazole for me to take orally. I can't go home with 3 labs & this hanging out my arm with a 40.3 cm leading direct to my heart. Finally they saw sense (2.5hrs) I even have to keep the dressing on now for 7 days & wear a shower sleeve over it to wash as I have been in hospital.

Glad you are home Pam....
Also, there may be no need for the nerve block if you get better. I like the "wait and see" approach.
It appears you did a good job of talking your way out of the hospital. Actually, all too often hospital environments can add to infection risk. They had you long enough.
As always,
Lovee & Prayers

It is great that you are home.

I hope that the supportive environment (DB and your lodger) there is good for you :).

Very good and caring xx

Saw my GP yesterday, I'm signed off until November 10th. But I'll have to work a few odd days in between there from home. Conference diall today and payroll this Friday. In quite a lot of pain this morning, trying to keep quiet DB very stressed :eek:

Fell flat on my back yesterday, luckily I was already close to the ground being down at knee height. Because I can't bend I'm having to squat and get down to ground level to get things that the gripper just isn't strong enough to get, as I used the bench to help pull myself upright I could feel myself going, I had time to think relax so I wasn't stiff and I just hit the kitchen floor. I lay there flat & than called for help to stand up. Earlier in the day I struggled to get out of the bed & stand upright. Sometimes it just feels as though it's all falling apart - it's the only way I can describe it. I imagine it's the cages between the vertebrae settling into place & of course I'm probably not taking enough pain relief. I'm better this week than last, sometimes I would move & id get this severe pain, severe enough for me to cry out ouch.
Work have ordered an office chair for me at home & it is to be pre assembled & delivered to my home address. I have told them I officially return to work November 10 when I'm allowed to drive & will WFH next week. This week I'll take calls but nothing more.

At the hospital seeing one of my specialists, I've come away with a pile of scripts. He says I'm feeling the hemotoma pulsing because I'm so thin. I don't want to have the nerve injection so he has given me a script for pain patches to put directly on top - it's like an anaesthesia patch and should numb the area. I'm to see him again December 7th and I see the Neurosurgeon on November 7th.

Got home and my office chair has arrived. :)

Your fall must have scared you - I am glad that you coped well :).

That is great that your new office chair has come :).

:hug:

Pam,
What is going to be done about the hematoma? Since the other two were taken care of in the hospital. I thought this one was as well. Sure hope these patches help.

Gerry

They are hoping it will just absorb itself? So long as it doesn't get infected I should be ok. I just wish it would go. They've increased my pain meds and have said they will put a plan in place to titrate me down safely so I don't have withdrawals & exacerbate the work done on my spine... terrifying much! I'm not getting anywhere near the help I need from DB, he caught the flu this week & couldn't go to work on Thursday, he's given it to me and I'm expected to just carry on. He made breakfast this morning & went back to bed, he's slept virtually 20 hrs a day since Tuesday, I had to make my own way to the General surgeon yesterday & while there I went to the Neurosurgeon office to make an appt to see him next week. His wife is his secretary, she looked at me & said what are you doing here, she seemed shocked I was up & about on my own. I told her I had just seen the GS. I'm to see the Neuro on Nivember 7th.

I've been wearing my soft back brace a lot, I got told in 2013 not to use it much because it prevents the muscles developing but sometimes it just feels like it's falling apart. I've got one chair in the house I can sit on, it's a recliner that stands me up & I struggle to get out of bed, the bed feels like it's to low to the ground, but it's higher than other beds. I use the walking frame where I can in the house & rely on grabbing it to pull myself out of bed.

I'm just tired and over it all. I knew it was going to be tough, & I knew DB would be difficult so I can't complain. I guess I'm just feeling fragile, vulnerable and alone. I asked him this morning did he want a divorce, he looked at me & I said well you just don't seem to care, it's like you've decided I'm home & you've completely disconnected. I know you know what I mean xx

Saw my Neurosurgeon today, 6 weeks post surgery. I'm to be admitted to another hospital tomorrow (it's on the river) for strict rest, limited walking & later begin gentle physio. It is a hospital that specialises in post surgical rehab. I'm very fortunate to have such good caring surgeons & specialists. I think this will take pressure off of DB as well, he's been worried as there have been many days & seemingly increasing where I suddenly can't stand up, I freeze & have to call for his help. I've crawled from the bedroom to the bathroom & pulled myself up holding on to the vanity basin just so I can use the toilet. Then crawled back & lay in the floor until someone came along to help..... it's been a tough 2 weeks at home :eek:

That is excellent that you have got into the rehab hospital :).

:hug:

So I'm back in hospital and under a new doctor. Met her today, lovely lady. I'm on bed rest, allowed to walk to the toilet and once down the corridor with the walking frame. My attempts to look after myself insufficient. While someone bought me medication in the morning, it appears I should have had them bought again mid morning, mid afternoon and again in the evening. I shouldn't have been walking around the house at all to get medication, drinks of water, or checking the mailbox. WFH allowed but in moderation, and tbh it's been easy, just sit on the chair, type, print & file, make phone calls. Now I sit in bed, make phone calls, type, hit print (when I go home and the wifi connection ts everything will spew out of the printer) & when home I will file.

I think the break from home will do me good, our lodger is extremely clingy & conflicted. Her up & down moods, the daily tears, the loud shouting & sobbing today almost sent me off the deep end. It was all I could do to calmly say to DB can you tell her to stop shouting, she is triggering me. I know we made a commitment to her & I will not see her out on the street, and I won't, but, there comes a time when straight talking is needed. I took DB for a walk before he bought me here & I explained to him by the time I come home there need to be some changes made & she pick elsewhere to have her Tantrums. Oh and no she is not bringing a pet mouse into the house, I have 4 indoor cats. And ah, the mouse cage and all it's paraphernalia along with the skate board etc just left piled up at the front door entrance, get it moved, I don't care where, but I'll not have rubbish piled outside my front door looking like we're slobs.

I've got so many doctors looking after me now, I feel very well looked after, and the hospital I'm at the staff are marvellous. My Pain Mgt Specialist who did my original stim implant is also involved, he's just left. He has prescribed Norspan patch 20mg, Baclofen 5mg twice a day, I'm still on the temgesic sublingual but I won't need to take the Oxy for breakthrough pain. Well that's the plan, I won't be able to tolerate the norspan for long, I'm allergic to the adhesive, but it might be enough to see me through the next 5 days. So they're not talking about sending me home as yet, it seems I might be here until the weekend & then either home or to rehab, I think it will be rehab because DB goes to Sydney on the 23rd for 5 days & they won't have me at home on my own.... They are also going to do some more blood tests to check my markers seeing as they were over 200 less than 4 weeks ago.

It sounds to me that you are getting good care.

I hope that DB enjoys his time in Sydney :).

:hug: