Pamela, I want you to know that I think that you are a strong and brave person.

All of my thoughts are with you.

Pam,
By this time, you may have already spoken to her. Instead of getting sick over the reaction on the other end; do you think sending an email or texting her first letting her know you would like to apologize for any wrongdoing, etc.: Also Let her also know if she is open to your calling her, you would like to speak with her personally.....or something like that.

BTW: does she have caller ID? Also are you able to leave a message when calling?

It's sad you are putting yourself through all this anxiety.

Obviously you have a lot going on with your surgery; but most likely the doctor was trying to let you know recovery may take a little more time than one would hope; but wants you to be aware of this fact up front.


Gerry

I've just got off the phone now, obviously not home yesterday. She answered, I said K it's Pam & please don't hang up. Her first words were I don't have time for this on a Sunday morning. I said I won't keep you long, I'm ringing to apologise for any hurt I've caused you, it's not been intentional. I don't expect you to forgive me, I just want you to know I'm sorry to have caused you angst. I loved your mother and we love the same people, yes I argued with your mam, but mam and I got on and mam knew I loved her. And it's important to me you know your brother still refers to you as his big sister. K said he thinks I've abandoned him and I haven't, we said a few more words and I said see it seems we can even agree on the same things. You should know DB has been sober for 2 years, she said that's good, Gi is just out if rehab and for me not to listen to the niece K. I said I haven't spoken with any of them and none know I'm making this call to you. It's all on me, obviously I did something to upset you and if I could take it back I would. I finished with saying, I don't expect us to ever be friends K, nor for you to forgive whatever it is you hold against me and I'll let you go. She thanked me for calling.

Jealousy has always consumed her, it is a sickness and she has allowed her thoughts to wallow in it. Up until I came on the scene she was hailed as the smart girl going places, then DB married me, university degree and somehow my name got mentioned in her mind more than hers. I did even say today, I have never tried to usurp you nor do I want to. I just want everyone to get on and I don't want me being used as the reason for people not talking with one another.

I cried as I spoke, but I made it clear, this is all on me, my choice to phone, my choice to say I don't expect forgiveness, and my choice for her to know I'm sorry to have ever hurt her.

No they haven't even mentioned recovery, how long I will be in hospital, or off of work. The 2 main surgeons Neurosurgeon & General have made it clear the surgery is proceeding because of the hairbreadth distance between the pedicle screw and the spinal cord otherwise they would never contemplate it. There is every possibility they get in and have to back out without achieving the Anterior fusions or removal of the screws. I have had to sign legal waivers to agree to the surgery.

It just amazes me with all our advancement in technology and imaging, they can't see from the outside where the blood vessels are. That's the big problem, the last few stomach surgeries I had, I bled out on the table, it's why I have had over 27 blood transfusions. So the bleeding out is a significant problem and the heart is the other problem, I've had 3 heart arrests in my life time directly attributed to anaesthesia.

Pam,
There seems to be a real problem with the screws when having fusion. A couple of years after my L4-5 fusion, I had a myleogram (sp?) (which some fluid is removed from spinal cord to allow a dye to be used). The orthopedic surgeon, along with other issues said it was imperative I have surgery to remove the screw because the tip of the screw was at the point of a major blood vessel and was endanger of this becoming quite serious.

Very strange about the issues with the screws... Makes one wonder..... I never did anything about it. This was about 8 years when the problem was discovered.

Although in your case, you have additional serious problems including the heart arrests attributed to the anesthesia. The bleeding out is another very serious problem.

Out here; surgery, including my spinal fusion /laminectomy does/did require signing legal waivers which is pretty standard. It appears by your description this is unusual in Australia.

For peace of mind, it's good you talked with SIL K. Jealousy can be wicked.

Hi Gerry, same in Australia, we always have paperwork to sign for any operation consenting to the procedure and we fully understand the ramifications and all has been explained etc, this is an additional one. I've had to sign one similar once before back in 2001 when I had the tumour leading to the total hysterectomy.

Pre Op Hospital admin appointment booked for tomorrow at 1.20pm, she says it will take about 40minutes. Than all I have to do is rock up to the hospital Monday morning at 7am. The Anaesthesiologist PA rang yesterday with the out of pocket expenses, she said it's based on the amount of time you are under and at present they are planning on anywhere between 3-5 hours. So that's good news, initially they thought it would be longer. The Neurosurgeon PA said she has put me down for 1st on the list as there are 2 of us having surgery on Monday, but his is shorter so it might be swapped around. I am hoping the anaesthetist will give me a Pre-med. There is nothing worse than that waiting around & I'm not sure if I will have a bed allocated at that stage so I could end up lobby lounge lizarding...

Had my pre op with the anaesthetist, good news, he's done me twice before so is aware of the difficulties I present with 1, to get me off to sleep & 2 post op. I have terrible vein access and then they tissue quickly. He is going to knock me out with gas, then find a vein & use a pic line just between my collar bone & neck so there is no issue of post op cannula tissueing and inability to control my pain.

Pam,
All looks like things are in good order for your upcoming surgery. Amazing; the same anesthetist that knows your case and aware of the difficulties you previously had. Somebody's watching over you; you are in His hands.....

Love & Prayers,
Gerry

Bloods done for pre match crossing and cell packing? Something to do with the fusion cage. As usual couldn't get a vein, if they would listen to me they'd get it first pop. Mid underside of the forearm, yes its tender but it delivers every time. Nope they have to go for the elbow crook (both) & then come back to looking at my arm & im saying & pointing right there. She goes to get another venapuncturist & says this ones really hard & I have to go do the wards, puff & she's gone, new lady comes in, I point & say please use a butterfly & take it from there, so she looks at me & says it will hurt & you will bruise, I said it will but if you don't go there you will exceed the limit of tries you're allowed in one day & this has to be done today for surgery Monday, in she goes with a butterfly and voila, 4 tubes later...she says you must have had a lot of blood taken to know exactly where. Yes.... my mum used to be a venapuncturist & right up until she retired, she used to take my blood whenever it was requested (worked for a cracking pathologist Dr Cohen) & never had to have more than one go, & always from the preferred spot. Looking back my mum was jolly good at her job.