I am truly grateful for everyone that has said anything, helpful or not, and I have so many problems I would be all over the map if I tried to post in right forum and I ave been to forums that if I posted in MS forum I would no doubt be banned! I have been afraid of stepping on anyones toes so I have just slunk away! I do seem to have similar problems as MS .....Paralysis of B&B, chronic pain, depression, scattered and random neuropathy, graduated to catheters recently....I could go on and on but right now what is breaking my heart is lack of human contact and the only thing that has kept me off the edge of cliff is my faithful canine companion! When I got home from my trip I cried like a baby when she threw her 10 lb body on me and I know she is only one that loves me no matter what and I will never leave her again, even if it means staying home! I don't care what anyone thinks, animals are the best treatment out there for any disease! I feel sorry for people that deprive themselves of that pure love! When I cry she licks away my tears, when my back is breaking she rolls herself up in a ball next to my back and her body heat makes it hurt less! She senses my needs better then any human could ever do, and sometimes I forget that. The 10 days I was away from her was pure hell and she punished me for a few days so I guess I just snapped! I also found out you can get a RX for a pet so your landlord can't keep you from having one!

Well, I don't know about everyone else but I surely wouldn't try to ban you off the ms board. There are many members who are in limbo, probable ms, etc. and they post. I think most people, many here, are above banning any member. Shoot they haven't banned me yet and I aint' got nuthin'! Ok, maybe I have a little something, naw, nuthin' compared to what you all go through.

OK, I am not a doctor but *some* depressions will only get better with Bipolar meds, such as Lithium. Just a suggestion for your doctor, ok? I had to go on Lithium to get better from depression, and some forms of depression are really Bipolar. I'm not at all suggesting you have this, just throwing out some new ideas. Also, if you're a misfit, then everyone is, including me. Going to buy food is a real "party." I finally get it in the cart and go to the checkout. THEN, it takes me forever to get it out of the cart! UGH! Very few people care. They get so mad at me, throw me looks, and then start asking me hurry up! DUH! If I COULD, I WOULD! The hands refuse to do it. Maybe I should tell them to talk to the hands? I would, but by then I'm so angry back at them, that I just give them the evil eye. Oh yeah! Then trying to get the bags in the house? HA! It takes forever and I just LOVE the way the neighbors stare at me like I'm a lazy loser. UGH! Anyway, I DO understand how you feel.

Junie, sorry I took so long to chime in...Sandy is right...I don't have MS and yet those MSers welcome me with open arms to their forum...I hope you don't give up on all of us...me personally would like to get to know you better. We have a lot in common, pain and all!!

Junie,: I have suffered from the stares, parking in a Handicapped Spots; I hang my placard on the mirror & some of them, I show them 4'' scars on both sides of my throat I have had 5 major Spinal Surgery's. 1. I had 4 in one month; June-July 14th my Birthday, I was crowned with a halo for 4 months. In Feb. 2008 I had my latest-They fused Cervical 3 thru 7. Some days i take Dilaudid 4mg. 4 times a day. I feel so GUILTY. I'm sorry but I have no guilt.
Got my diabetes under control-with meds. Other than this damndable pain. I have taken Amphetamines for 54 yrs., which actually helps me more than 40mg. of Prozac a day. Very few pain specialist have ever heard of Adderall 30mg.@ least 5 a day.I took a drug holiday, not long ago(from adderall) My BP went from 130/74...to205/105. So I started taking 2 an hour & 1 Dilaudid 4mg.
Lo& behold it went back to normal. I don't know if it will work for you with Chronic Pain, I will say a prayer for you June Bug, to find some relief. (STAY AWAY FROM THAT CLIFF)..................Respectfully Yours, Mack Doss

Hi Junie,

Your post sounded like you were at a really dark and frustrated place. I hope that even though your medical issues and pain cannot have improved, that you are finding support here and feeling stronger emotionally.

As you can tell from this thread, there are people who care here. Even though we all have different diagnoses and different levels of pain or disability, we are united in coming here because we are looking for connection with others who can understand what we are going through

God Bless You

Hi Junie!

We havent met, because I usually post on almost every other forum LOL. I want you to know you are not alone in the world of pain. I stopped working in July 2001, but should have stopped in 2000. I just couldnt let go of the best job in the world.

The pain stops me cold all the time, and sometimes makes me break activities that were planned. Most of my friends and work associates are now just memories. No one understood how I could go from working circles around most people to just a lump in the bed. Life just plain sucked, and it felt like it was over.

The first few years all I wanted to do was talk about my pain because that is all that I could think of. PAIN 24/7.... how do you not want to talk it out. My family at first tried to understand, but soon were avoiding me, or getting short with me because I was a real bummer to be around.

This is when these forums really began to help me. I could come here and scream and cry...really vent and everyone understood. Sure my posts wouldnt get alot of action and would drop off the page. I didnt care if anyone listened or not because I was just getting things out of my system. I soon made friends, and then even more friends.

One thing I started doing was finding topics that were close to what I wanted to talk about, and post up in there. Soon I was getting comfortable, and also caring for the others posting because they werent all that different than me. Now I may not start a new topic for months, but get just as much satisfaction in posting in other threads.

One day I decided to try a new approach with my family. I was going to try and take an interest in what they were doing, their pains, joys, their plans, just about anything they were doing, and leaving my problems out of it. If I needed to complain, or needed someone to understand, or just be with people that wouldnt put me down I came here.

Soon my family quit running soon as they seen me, and even began to come around about my pain. They would actually ask me how I was feeling, and even took interest in what the doctors were doing with me. This improved my attitude tremendously, and I didnt seem so down as much. It didnt take away the pain, nor did it change how they perceived my pain, it just made it easier for them to talk with me, and sometimes even understand what I was going through because they didnt think I was pressuring them to understand or care.

As time passed and I made even more friends on the forum, posts and topics came easier, and more people would chime in because they were truly interested in what was going on with me as much as I was interested in what was going on with them.

Life still isnt a bowl of cherries, and I still can run off the most caring of person sometimes, but the lows dont hold me down as long as they used to.

I sure hope everything starts smoothing out for you, and truly hope your pain gives you a break here and there.

Are you OK this morning? I just read the thread. I don't come here to often,but I want you to know that I care. I'm sorry that we didn't see you before. Please keep posting. I too have pain,and I know that it is hard to deal with. I hope that you are OK. Brokenfriend