[fiberowendy2000]

Well, I just got a call from my grandmother not too long ago. As we were talking, my grandmother casually mentions that my sister got married in June of this year. Of course I wasn't invited.
My sister and I haven't spoken in about 4 years now because of a falling out and issues which I now understand come from partially from the medications I was on and partially from undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. Last year I tried to make amends by sending her a letter. I didn't have any high hopes for immediate reconciliations or anything but maybe a segway into talking again slowly. Well, I gave her my address and phone number and let her make the next move. Nothing happened. And at the time I totally understood that.
Now that I have found out after the fact that I was not even told about the wedding I am hurt. I didn't mind not being invited, but not being told....that is another story.
Do I have a right to be hurt? I'm not angry but it does bother me that my family totally forgot about me.
Another victim of CP I guess.

[Wittesea]

Wendy,

(((((hugs))))

I can certainly relate to being forgetten and hurt by family.

Of course you have the right to be hurt. It hurts when family doesn't understand. It hurts to be forgotten.

My family does the same thing to me. My mother and step-father and everyone on that side of my family act as if I no longer exist - my husband and I never get invited to anything. My in-laws are similar, but they invite my husband without inviting me.

My father and step-mother are better, but they still have their moments of forgetting us and assuming that I would not want to do certain things. On that side of the family, we get invited to some things, but not others...


It's really sad and hurtful to feel left out and forgotten... but I don't know how to fix or change it.

(((((((hugs))))))

Take care,
Liz

[Junie]

Wendy,
I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am seeing a trend with chronic pain people and being abandoned by family. This year will be the smallest family gathering we have ever had...just one sister and 2 out of 3 sons....but I am trying real hard to shrug it off and go on with my life.....it is their loss and what comes around goes around and one day they will wish they had not been so cruel.
Hang in there!

[fiberowendy2000]

Thanks ladies. I knew you all would understand. I have been plain miserable since the phone call. I have been trying to calm down ever since. I don't know which I am more of hurt, angry or just plain sad.
I know my grandmother didn't mean to hurt my feelings but she did.
It keeps reminding me why I don't hang around my family anymore. Everytime I do, I get hurt somehow.
Here is a question for all of you, when you do let your guard down for one second like I did today, do you kick yourself up and down for letting it happen? How do you deal with the feelings after? I just don't know what to do with myself right now.
UGH! Why do I let them do this to me?????!!!!

[Junie]

Well Wendy,
I try to not let my guard down anymore and am trying to start fresh and build a new life.....I can't change anyone except myself so after going through the worst year of my life alone I now know they are not worth my tears!
I was not visited in the hospital or offered any help by any of them....I am called a drug addict for taking my pain meds for a serious back condition but they sit around and smoke weed, drink beer and pop xanax for recreational uses...gimmie a break! Sometimes its best to just cut ties with certain people....its not like I asked to be born into that family.
Sorry you are hurting....but it will get easier with time.

[fiberowendy2000]

Junie, I am so sorry about your family. Talk about pot calling the kettle black. Ick! Hypocrits.
I finally fell asleep exhausted earlier and just woke up about 20 minutes ago. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be around my family period!!!!! No phone calls, no more get togethers, no cards....no anything. I made this promise to myself before and this is the first time I broke that promise. Its sad huh. That we have to do this. Dang stigma.

[Junie]

Well Wendy,
I am trying to look at the bright side....I am gonna save a bundle on birthday/Xmas and other occasion gifts that I will use on those family members that treat me with love and respect...plus on myself to make my life a little easier

[fiberowendy2000]

Junie I totally agree. The amount I saved on going down to Connecticut and buying a present for her wedding and dealing with the family. Oy Vey! What a day of stress I saved myself!
Personally I think that my grandmother set me up for this one. She may be old but she is a wiley one.

[Junie]

I think you should use some of the money saved from that trip and buy yourself a hour long massage or maybe a spa package

[fiberowendy2000]

Honestly.....I spent it on my anniversary present to my husband! He got the massage gift certificate!
My massages come from PT!