[KathyM]

"Spare me the labor" - LMAO Alffe!

Idealist

I've been a member of Braintalk since 1998. I spent two years prior to that frantically searching the world for treatment of my rare form of familial amyloidosis - nuttin.' By the time I found Braintalk, I was terrified and suicidal.

Like Snoopy, I've come to terms with my illness - and I've accepted my fate. I received the emotional support I needed in order to accomplish this task. All I needed was the fine people here because they showed true love and understanding. They allowed me to speak, they listened with their hearts, and threw in some good coping advice as well. It's pretty amazing what we can endure when we know we have people who care in our corner.

I still have my moments, but they're rarely about me anymore because I have accepted my fate. However, outside influences (war, racism, hypocrisy, lies) take a HUGE toll from me physically and emotionally. The stress causes my symptoms to flare, but I'm a little afraid to take it here because I don't want to upset anyone or start a political debate.

[Curious]

helping others can be healing itself.

but the support is here. whether it be pm or email. you have to be in your own comfort zone.

so buddy ole pal...you know to how to reach me. and i don't mean by dart gun!!!

[Idealist]

...for really thinking this out and not just feeding me a bunch of lines. I think I really got what I needed from this. If there's one thing I know, it's that I nearly always get smart answers from the people here. Even from Miss Curious, in her own peculiar way...

[Curious]

mwhahahahahaaaa

be careful...be afraid...there is a very peculiar monkey on the loose!!!

[~scrabble]

I agree with Curious that "helping others can be healing itself".

Reading about what someone I know is going through can also help me sometimes to 'open up' more too. I find with depression that it can be much easier to withdraw and not talk about it instead of reaching out for understanding and support.

Idealist, I'm sorry I've been a bit scarce lately ... but I hope you know you can reach out to me ...

[Doody]

(((Idealist))) I see Alffe caught you wondering and wandering about.

I couldn't say much more than what's already been said. I like what Alffe said about repeating our stories over and over again. Maybe I should go ahead and put all my ailments in my signature. Although, I don't always post about the way I'm feeling every day because my problems are so insignificant compared to so many other people's problems here. I feel guilty bringing up chronic pain problems (although I must say I'm being pushed to the edge with that).

And sometimes I feel like the web is too public of a place to put things right out there. Although, this forum is the safest place I've felt in awhile.

[Idealist]

I liked what Alffe said, too. But then again, I usually do. The part about "spare me the labor and show me the baby" was good.

Doody, what you said reminds me of someone else here on the forums. I won't give any names, but she likes to swing around in trees and likes bananas.

She always says that when she starts to feel bad, she remembers all of the other people here who have it so much worse than she does. I try to do that too, and often it really works. But like one of my doctors told me, the fact that other people may be more miserable than you are doesn't make your own pain any less. So maybe sometimes I'm too selfish, but there are times when I can't seem to get out of my own head, so to speak.

I have found that anytime I can help someone else, it always makes me feel better. Sometimes I feel desperate to find someone who needs my help, just so I can give it. But I wouldn't feel right in just saying meaningless things to people for the sake of my own feelings. Does that make sense at all?

Anyway, what brought this all on for me, I'm embarrassed to say, is the fact that I'm getting close to a thousand posts here. I know a lot has been said about that from time to time. I have actually been posting a lot less the past few weeks because I feel anxious about becoming a "senior member". Is that silly, or what? Still, it's got me bothered.

There's a few people here who know that I'm going through a lot of problems right now, only some of which are medical. But only a few. I'm way too embarrassed to talk about it "in public." But I shouldn't be, and I know it. So that's the crux of my problem. What everyone here has said has been very helpful though, and gives me plenty to think about. So again I thank you all!

Idealist