[[Protesters Hijack Hundreds of Facebook Groups, Pointing Out Weakness In Social Networks

Hundreds of Facebook groups have been hijacked in recent days by users pointing out what they say is a weakness in how the social-networking site handles the administration of its groups. By Tuesday morning, 286 groups had apparently been renamed Control Your Info and had a new message posted to their walls.]]

more here-
http://cyberinsecure.com/protesters-...cial-networks/

10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know

[I figured that many people would benefit from a thorough overview on how to protect your privacy on Facebook. Below is a step by step process for protecting your privacy.]

http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/02/facebook-privacy/


more-
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=...f5ed7994d722e7

another problem -

http://cyberinsecure.com/botnets-new...acebook-users/

a snippet of the info -
[Koobface accomplishes these malicious activities by automating Internet Explorer to perform the task of creating and registering an account. However, it does not proceed and will terminate the process if the affected user is using Internet Explorer 6. Moreover, it employs a check if it has already reached the maximum friend requests set by Facebook or not. Hence, it keeps itself under the radar and does not cause any alarm to Facebook administrators.

The messages posted through Facebook’s wall contain a link that leads to the usual fake Facebook or YouTube page hosting the Koobface loader component.

Facebook users are advised to be careful and security conscious. For more tips on using Facebook, users may opt to visit Facebook’s safety and security pages: http://www.facebook.com/safety and http://www.facebook.com/security.]

Oh, man! Thanks for the tips. I think Facebook is just too complex for ME. But I do play the games sometimes.

We have the maximum privacy settings on our acct there. I don't trust it at all. No pics, no personal stuff, NADA...just so I can converse with friends there now and then. This "need" to have so many friends...this escapes me.

I am with you on this crazy activity of collecting friends, causes, etc... the amazing paradox of collecting "friends" on your computer. Yet this site offers such great support and friendships, intimate yet also impersonal. Technology is amazing these days, and will likely evolve beyond our imagined potentials in our lifetimes. Glad for it and sad for the "need" to have virtual friends. Best wishes to you Mrs D from Tinglyltoes.

You know, one of the reasons we moved way out here to North Dakota from my lifetime home in the PNW was because my physical problems made it just too hard to keep up with the "busy life" out there. However, it is really, really quiet out here, and people here don't really like us, because we didn't convert and follow the rural social expectations (I couldn't). They have a habit, here, of isolating people who have physical problems. Anyway, facebook has allowed me to get back in touch with and stay in a genuine kind of daily contact with people who were very important throughout my life. The joy is, we get to share our lives with each other, but I don't have to "go out" to do it. I can be "normal" in that setting. On top of that, I added a load of people I don't know because I played the games for a while. That has been really enriching. They are from every corner of the world, and I screened them based on the info they presented, and their communication with their friends/family that I observe backs up what their info represents about them. This whole facebook experience has been a joy for me, and allowed me to live a very normal life in a very limited situation :-).

As far as privacy goes: There isn't any. I grew up with a lot of people who are now at the top of the tech food chain, and they have explained it to me carefully enough that I get it. I am unreasonably careful with my financial info, but as far as every other bit of personal statistical info, it's all out there, whether or not I want it to be. Cordless phones are also a big security issue, but, oh well. I see my interaction on facebook as a kind of "going out in public (with friends)", and I act accordingly. I don't hide my face, and I converse openly, but my "out in public" boundaries are in place.

Just another POV about facebook. :-)

Linn

Hi Lin, I am sorry that your local community chooses to shun you due to their lack of experience in how to be with those who suffer chronic debilitating conditions. I too experience this, even from communities associated with spiritual practices related to yoga.

I am enjoying the connection with others on this forum, who know without resisting the reality, and are able to offer compassionate witnessing, actively seen as normal for each individual within our unique process.

Facebook doesn't do much for me since it usually presents mostly the idealized picture others wish was true about themselves. Rather one dimensional. Whereas in this forum the depth and caring are genuine and profound. The more I open to share the more I receive in return.

Not many places where this happens in my life, since isolation is the main result of chronic, debilitating, long term conditions. Cultural expectations that everyone is entitled to good health and what I refer to as "Health Bigotry" to believe there must be something "wrong" with a person if this does not hold true.

Whether I like it or not this seems to be the prevailing pattern. The only folks who taught me differently were the staff at the stroke rehab place and a school setting with a program for post rehab recovery into every day activities and socialization. Three years there allowed me to transition to take community college courses. Now I take one art class every semester. All I can handle. Credit/no credit and just do what I can and let the instructor know my status from the beginning.

This has allowed me the inclusion into life just enough to have something to relate to others with. I have fun when I can do the work, and most of the time struggle. But it gives me a sense of self esteem being creative, mostly empowering unless I push too much and get symptomatic again.

And here is one more place I can add to my recourse bag to feel like a fully engaged human being. Good news! Thanks for writing TT

Hi Tinglytoes :-)

I do understand what you mean by the one-dimensional quality of sharing often found on facebook. I find value in the communication I am able to have with people I actually knew, at one or another time in my life. In our sharing -- as they have found value in me as much as I have in them -- I find that it ranges from the kind of conversation I might have if we ran into each other at the market, to the kind of discussion we might have over coffee or wine in an evening, to very in-depth, compassionate conversations, some private, some public. They know me as the person inside of this body, and I'm not obligated to have to explain any of my physical dysfunctions. I truly wish that life, face to face with the general public, would be that way, also. I've been able to actually, physically get together with different people as a result of our contact on facebook, for the first time in years, and because they are already engaged with me on a deeper level, they don't even notice the handicap (for lack of a better word), that I bring to the table. We just "pick up where we left off". Those people I "know" on facebook who I haven't had a previous history with, I liken to the peripheral people I might exchange pleasantries with at social hour after church, or wherever. Pleasant, but only fulfilling in the social sense. I felt so socially isolated for so long, because to have to introduce my limitations in any social relationship brought up huge issues (lack of understanding, the impulse to patronize or offer "sympathy", etc), and I don't want to discuss it as though I am needing to "make an excuse" for who I now am. I am who I am, warts and all, and there is a real aversion in today's culture to incorporating people with different strengths and weaknesses. People want to make a Cause out of MS or Cancer or the pet disease of the year, but they don't simply want to see people who have these physical challenges as just another person, who may not be able to walk as fast or stay up as late or drink or go out, but like anyone, just a person. Facebook, in my life, opened that door to me :-). I don't have to "hide" my mechanical dysfunction, it just doesn't have to play a role. I got together this summer with a friend I had played with from the time I was 8 years old until we were teenagers. At one point, at dinner, after a fantastic day, he glanced at me and said that a mutual friend had brought up my health issues to him, and he had told her that he knows that I will discuss it with him when I feel the need to do so. Then he said, "You know you can, because we are 'family'. No pressure." He said it like he was just confirming what he knew I knew, smiled, and we resumed our evening. I just smiled and said, "I know". It felt like a hug.

I like your label, "Health Bigotry". We really do, as a culture, define ourselves narrowly, based on some ideal of physical perfection. People isolate people with health issues because, I think, we remind them that we are all subject to anything, and there is no guarantee of great physical health. Society seems to have lost the ability to sympathize without patronizing, also. I think, generally, there was a time when people responded rather practically to others with health challenges. Probably before the time that we decided we can "fix anything" with the right pill and the right diet and the right personal trainer and the right herbal concoction. Now, it's just awkward for everyone involved. If they could only realize that I actually feel sorry for *them*. The gifts I've received as a result of the path my body has taken have been profound, and I would not trade it. I was thinking last night, watching tv, that there aren't characters on shows with disabilities, really. Or commercials. Why don't they have the 40 yr old mom of three, in a wheelchair with MS, cheerfully putting the laundry detergent in the washer? The only time they show people with physical issues is to market a pill, and those commercials offend me on so many levels.

That is really great that you are able to do the art classes! I dream of being able to involve myself in something like that, some day (although probably not art, for me). That would take a lot of strength and persistence. Credit to you!

BTW - this forum is a gift! While I enjoy having relationships that are not defined by what I am able to do or not to do, it is often a little like living in a different country. I really need to be in touch with people who know and understand my struggles, and who have struggles I can relate to. Thank you for your conversation :-).

~ Linn

Hi Linn, I appreciate your sharing. I am happy for you that FB has provided an equalizing meritocracy for your interpersonal relationships. I had not really thought of how obviously it could work in ones favor to equalize the interactions, especially if one had a mechanical device which in everyday situations would be obvious, yet free from this limitation when on FB. I have not gotten into it much in my area so far. It feels pretty la-la out here in, "Santa Cruz-Keep it Weird"!

I myself have rather severe, ongoing progressive health problems, which ironically do not show. I have the opposite issue, nothing to show for all my health problems. My friend with Parkinson's tells me, half jokingly, that I should wear a sign around my neck saying "Not as good as I look"! It is very difficult at times to try to avoid explaining, or defending my reality to strangers or teachers etc... I haven't worked since '97 and live on a shoestring. This is also very limiting for what most take for granted to make choices, I cannot take for granted. I look fine, present as well and positive, act like I feel fine, unless one looks closely, and no one knows anything unless it comes up or I trust them enough to share. I have tried it all different combinations, as I am sure you must have as well. It is not easy to hit the right tone. Sometimes because I look well. I have to pretend that since the time when I could barely walk, I am truly now all better. Like it was the flu or something. The expectation is always that I could fix myself if I really wanted to. Yeah and health is for the rich if you can pay the alternative healers the exorbitant fees for chakra healing with space beings etc.... It is true i feel bitter at times.

often once I share even a little bit of my life reality, their eyes glaze over because my over-all presentation is not as expected and they get a bit freaked. Fear is more like it. If it can happen to me it could happen to them at 48!!

I agree that the lessons I have learned from the entire fifteen years plus, most likely could not have been learned any other way. I often feel saddened that the lessons will be wasted on those who need to hear them, due to the resistance to accept that life is not under our control despite the healthy focus in general. This financial downturn and the loss of home and all reasonable resources for thousands is akin to the sudden loss of physical health. The denial is similar as well. Loss is loss and does not need comparison. However we do not as a culture enfold and encourage those who fall between the cracks of the standards we hold dear as identifiers.

What wake up call for all of us that materialism is being broken down, finally shown to be as shallow and devoid of true meaning as it is. The great equalizer is Katrina type catastrophes and serious illness. At the same time we all have more than enough to share if we took the need seriously enough to step up and offer to each other according to each ones resources. Perhaps we have more resources than the average person whose life goes on as usual. Perhaps we have more muscle built up for facing adversity and keeping our head on straight and our hearts open.

I live in Santa Cruz CA with a health obsessive culture everywhere you go.
At no time in my earlier life did I know how to deal with handicapped persons, and had no exposure to stroke survivors until I became one at 48. Then I had to be thrown in with very elderly folks who naturally suspected I must be faking somehow. It is hard to be in the position to not fit, and feel unaccepted, even when I shared the same reality of struggle to accept the handicap, grow beyond the symptoms, overcome negative labels and re-gain my self concept, same as anyone with an obvious walker or wheelchair. The cultural indoctrination is a trip.Expectations all over the place. I ended up going to places my own parents were unable to cope with because they hadn't gone through them yet themselves. That was trippy.

The acculturated health bigotry is societal and encouraged by the grandiosity of our narcissistic modern beliefs. The belief that everything is possible if one only claims it true, with enough ju-ju it will surely manifest as we believe we deserve. Books like the Secret, authors like Louise Hay, and endless new age teachings are typocally one sided.. Basically splitting life into the shadow, into good or bad. Eventually those who expect only good experience the failure of their body. When this happens, the confusion that all life is a mixture of every good and often many, very bad things, becomes the inner teacher. Limitation and suffering seems to be how the human race evolves to become more compassionate and understanding, we are not actually separate beings. We don't need to define ourselves by our negative experiences. Yet at the same time I refuse to claim or label my process as "bad".

How do I know in the big picture if there is not some serious soul making gifts to be had in this process? How can I ever know if by being congruent in this present reality, someone else will be able to awaken their own heart to tolerate less than ideal life events in their future?

Sometimes I think that those who hold a part of the suffering, physical aspect of this planet are like the proverbial "canary in a coal mine". Indicators of the planetary soul -making process. No one escapes the loss of body identity in the end, some just get to practice it earlier and longer than others. We are the teachers, whether others yet value or recognize this. The humbled ones who are waiting to be heard, as we know our experiences are the often a valuable message of the way to the heart. We are the "gold made out of lead" if you will. What could be more worthwhile than this??!! Best Wishes TT

Tinglytoes ~

I feel like you spoke from my heart. You are able to say things so much more clearly than I am, though. That expressive clarity is one of the things I had to give up. To me, it is the sign of a very good mind.

I struggled for years with the reality that my physical appearance doesn't match my profound inability to function. My facial muscles don't work like they should any more, but the slackness just looks, to others, like "depression". I can pass for "pain and dysfunction free" in public without a thought, but every single minute I spend out in the busy environments, or in face to face conversation, is torture beyond description. Just using my voice is often torture. I have no desire to explain myself or excuse myself to other people, though, unless I've committed an offense, and so I could not find a way around this. (However, those people whom I've brought back into my life from my past know how animated and bouncy I "was", so they'll see the difference, face to face.) I used to resent not simply having lost a leg or something obvious. Now I am glad that I "pass", because it is a normalizer.

We used to provide therapeutic care for teen boys who had committed horrible offenses, and had significant behavioral challenges. Our approach, generated during my previous time as a Social Worker, was to look candidly at their dysfunctions and deviancies, and set up their environment in our family home so that those dysfunctions and deviancies became irrelevant. It took very careful planning. The end result was that they were able to be "just boys" in a family, and get up on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons in their PJ's, and have all of the daily family experiences they truly needed. Inside the home, you seldom knew the extent of these boys' histories. They could play and laugh and be actually "normal". We couldn't extend that environment into the public with most of them, except with the support of a few young, dynamic Case Aides by their sides. That seems to be my approach to my situation. Define the mechanical dysfunctions I have, adapt where I can and find a way to make the rest of the issues irrelevant, while still engaging with the current of life. I think of the computer as an "adaptive tool", in that regard.

I think people assume/expect that they have so much control in their lives. Any evidence to the contrary means they have to reestablish control by converting it into anger, and directing it at a chosen "cause" of their injury or loss. Acceptance has become equated with "failure" or "giving up". The best gift I now own is the complete knowledge, and peace with, the Truth -- I have no "right" to any control over the physical aspects of my life. Even the most basic, fundamental aspects, like food and shelter (I have gone without the former more than once in the past few years). The only Actual control I have is to accept Life as Life, and to choose to find joy wherever I can, and to feel my frustrations and pains honestly, but to not over-indulge them and let them take me over. I'm from the Puget Sound Region, which has borrowed a lot from the culture you live in. (I could not live in CA, as beautiful as it is there, for just the cultural reasons you refer to). My whole peer group settled comfortably into that successful, intelligent, "enlightened" upper middle class, with all of the associated magical thinking. I love so many of these people, but I see their assumption of control in their lives and I actually pray that they never have that shattered. I know, however, that if they do, and they survive it emotionally, they will be so much more free, and really truly happy. I know that now that I have reestablished relationships with these different, important people from my life, I can tell them, when it's important, about my health issues, and they will actually see me as I am, compassionately and with real empathy. I can't explain why this is the case. I think it's partly because they're already comfortable with me as "normal" by their unconscious definition, and so what's wrong with me physically will, by default, end up being included in their definition of "normal".

I like the "Wounded Healer" archetype. I associate that with what you are saying. The person who has lived through what life actually has to offer and become the stronger and more compassionate for it, and therefore has a kind of Peace that other people want to emulate, or that can serve to teach other people. My dad, a Methodist Minister who is fluent in the original Biblical languages, loves to point out that the NT Greek word used in the "Sermon on the Mount" is actually a word that translates accurately as "wounded healer". He will demonstrate how this is the whole point of that sermon. I think that almost every culture and religion has that same archetype. Not that suffering is the goal -- but seeing life as what it is, from the larger perspective, and letting go of attachments to physical identity and possessions and the expectation of Perfection, as a result of having lived through life's challenges, and making peace with the world, and with a true Compassion because of this, *is* the point. What I find ironic is that when I let go of the narcissistic expectation of a sort of functional perfection, I found True Perfection, in the Universe and how the whole process of Life works. It's so much more freeing to see that Perfection in what Is, rather than to try so hard to impose the reflection of it over what is.

I really wish I could express myself with your clarity. You demonstrate so much insight and perspective just with that gift. I keep checking in to this forum to see if you've posted. I think that you probably bring a lot of good to the world, whether or not you mean to, just by having achieved, inwardly, what is unconsciously shown by your insight and your ability to communicate it simply.

Thank You :-)

Linn