I put the trigger icon on this just in case......I don't want to upset anyone with this post.....






My BIL's brother was killed in a biking accident last Friday. It was so unexpected. My nephew was with him. He had a wife and kids. First grandbaby was due in January.

I just cannot stop thinking about this. Probably because I lost my DH very unexpectedly, too, 8 years ago. I keep thinking about his wife. What she's going through. I remember the days following the funeral of my DH. It had been so busy and people had been all around me for days prior. Then....nothing. It was quiet. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to adjust? And how dare everyone go back to their everyday lives?? I mean, my DH was gone! Everything had changed for me. How can things just pick up where they left off?

I'm thinking about her and wondering if she's feeling these same things. I'm remembering waking up in the wee hours of the morning and having the reality of it all come crashing down on me. I'm alone.

I keep thinking of last Friday morning....when they parted ways.....never realizing that was the last time they would say "good morning" or "goodbye". Nobody knows when it'll be.....but it's always unexpected.

I just keep thinking about it and it's making me terribly sad. I just hate the fact that she is suffering the pain of this loss. I know how it feels.....and there isn't anything anybody can do to help it. You just have to go through it. I hate the fact that she now has to go through all the "red tape" we widows go through after we lose our husbands. I hate that Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here in two/three months and she has to deal with that.

It's just so very hard......and she wasn't expecting it. It just rips the rug out from under you. Knocks the wind out of you. It's a physical pain like no other. And it's a very helpless feeling. And nobody can fix it.

I know I'm feeling this way because I can relate so closely to this situation. I want to tell her that it will be okay.....but you could not have told me that after my DH died. I had to go through the grief and see for myself. I wish there was an "express lane" for grief.

Oh dear... Im so, so, sorry....

I cant find the right words now.... I just... I mean, my prayers and thoughts are with that family and with you....



God Bless... I know how difficult grief is.... ugh.... I even cant manage it...

((((((((Kelly)))))))))
I am so very sad for that family and for you to have to relive your own sorrow this way

praying God's comfort for all of you tho I know that the heartache will probably never fully go away.

I hope that you and his widow will be able to draw strength and comfort from one another. I pray God will enable you to minister to her, and so bring balm on your own wounded heart too

Thank you. I'm really okay.....I just feel so bad for her. I know what she's going through and there isn't anything I (or anyone else) can do to ease it. It's just such a helpless feeling.

I want to tell her everything does get better....with time. But, I can remember hearing just that very thing and thinking I would clobber the next person who told me to "give it time". Time's her enemy right now....but it will be her friend eventually. But that's just something she has to discover for herself in her own time frame.

The expected death of someone is hard enough but the unexpected shock of losing someone like this is just brutal. It just makes me so sad that she has to go through this.

Kelly,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you want to help and I am sure that you are by just being there for her. It must be so hard for you thinking of the loss of your husband and knowing how hard it is to get through. I just can't imagine.

I have been through such sadness since my Mom passed away suddenly on June 6th. She and Daddy were married for over 61 years. My Daddy is just so lost but is trying to find his place in the world now that Mom is gone.

Three months have passed and he knows she died peacefully in her sleep from a heart attack and is in God's hands now.

His health is so bad that each time I see him, he looks so small and fragile. We just talk about whatever comes up. It has been so hard. Almost unbearable at times but just being there is all we can do. We have to grieve together and get through it.

I am sure you know what I am talking about and you know from your loss that there is nothing that eases the pain of losing someone you love.

Kitty,
Sorry to hear this, maybe if you know her, you can offer to help her with some of that 'red tape' if you are able. Lord, knows we all carry our own heavy load and its impossible to take on a small part of someone else's. She might have family or friends to help or she might just need someone who really does know what she feels and how unrealistic her world is right now.

So, sorry that this has happened in your life, today is 7 years since I lost my daughter,it is the day that I re-live every moment,from her final breath,until the end of the day that her funeral was,every sad moment.I get your pain.