I put the trigger icon on this just in case......I don't want to upset anyone with this post.....






My BIL's brother was killed in a biking accident last Friday. It was so unexpected. My nephew was with him. He had a wife and kids. First grandbaby was due in January.

I just cannot stop thinking about this. Probably because I lost my DH very unexpectedly, too, 8 years ago. I keep thinking about his wife. What she's going through. I remember the days following the funeral of my DH. It had been so busy and people had been all around me for days prior. Then....nothing. It was quiet. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to adjust? And how dare everyone go back to their everyday lives?? I mean, my DH was gone! Everything had changed for me. How can things just pick up where they left off?

I'm thinking about her and wondering if she's feeling these same things. I'm remembering waking up in the wee hours of the morning and having the reality of it all come crashing down on me. I'm alone.

I keep thinking of last Friday morning....when they parted ways.....never realizing that was the last time they would say "good morning" or "goodbye". Nobody knows when it'll be.....but it's always unexpected.

I just keep thinking about it and it's making me terribly sad. I just hate the fact that she is suffering the pain of this loss. I know how it feels.....and there isn't anything anybody can do to help it. You just have to go through it. I hate the fact that she now has to go through all the "red tape" we widows go through after we lose our husbands. I hate that Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here in two/three months and she has to deal with that.

It's just so very hard......and she wasn't expecting it. It just rips the rug out from under you. Knocks the wind out of you. It's a physical pain like no other. And it's a very helpless feeling. And nobody can fix it.

I know I'm feeling this way because I can relate so closely to this situation. I want to tell her that it will be okay.....but you could not have told me that after my DH died. I had to go through the grief and see for myself. I wish there was an "express lane" for grief.