by Eloise Cole, "Compassionate Friends " Newsletter 8/03

If you were to ask me to measure the love I have for any member of my family, I would be hard pressed for an answer. Surely my love is higher than the mountain tops and deeper than all the oceans and broader than all the deserts of the world. So too is my love for my loved one who has died.

How can I be asked to pack away mementoes and memories and not speak his name? He is and always will be a part of me.

No one can crate the depths of the ocean or the breadth of the deserts nor can my love be boxed and carried away.

Dear friends, please do not set limits on my grief. Neither my love nor the depths of my sorrow can be measured. I am unable to heal on a time-table set by another. Weeks and months have no meaning when set against the measure of my love. Walk with me please, this difficult road of recovery. I promise you that I indeed will heal, when I have grieved enough for me.

Alffe, have I ever told you that not only do you find the most helpful articles and writings, but you always post them when I need them the most. Thank you.

I'm glad if it helps Julie...I receive some wonderful newsletters and am happy to share their wise words. (((Julie)))

It is sad for me too, as my husbands Birthday will be this next Tuesday. I have made it past my birthday in August, our Anniversary in September, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Now his birthday in January. Some of his family members won't even speak to me, thats the sad part. His own brother won't even look at me and his sister says, brother is so sad and is lost without him. I am hurting too. I have decided not to go to the family get togethers anymore. I am treated like dirt. I was faithful to my husband and I still am. I don't understand why I am treated this way? The rest of the family make excises for him. I am alone, brother is not.

Has any of you experienced this? It really gets me. I had an auction sale and sold all my husbands tools, Jan 1 st. Brother came, when he told me he wouldn't. He wouldn't help tho, and, he never got close enough to speak to him. I offered to give him anything of my husbands and he said NO. I have given up.
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BC

(((BC))) Those anniversary dates are so hard...especially the first couple of times around but the day finally comes when we remember the good times first...when the tears are fewer. Big hugs.

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