Hello and good morning. Im new here and wanted to reply to a post to be supportive of someone else losing a child. My baby son, Kory, died of SIDS and I have never been the same since. Life can go on though. Years later, today, I do realize that life can go on, and yes, I can be happy again. If nothing else, for the rest of my life, i want to be here to help other parents that have lost a child. My belief is that we were not created to lose our own children before we ourselves go. This does happen though. i did used to believe that my own life couldnt or shouldnt go on then. Like, what kind of mother was I if I couldnt keep my very own baby alive? Today I realize that this is not the case. This is not reality. I did my very best. I'm not physically able to be connected to my son, 24/7. And yes, today I realize I was and am a good mother. I had a 14 month old son also at the time Kory died and later on, I went on to have three more children that are all very healthy and doing well to this day. The hardest thing for me was forgiving myself and realizing that I was a wonderful mother to Kory. Things just happen beyond our control sometimes. For the rest of my life now, it's important to me to help someone else in the position I used to be in. I myself was suicidal for years after my baby son died. In time, I healed. My life has changed though. I still suffer PTSD (post tramautic stress syndrome) from this day. I am still on medication to get me through it. It also helps me to realize that I am not alone. I am very grateful to all the people in my life who have shared there own personal stories of losing a child with me. This has helped me to heal more and realize that I'm not alone and that we all need support to get through tramatic events like this. Once again, i am here for anyone needing to share a similar story. Just needing someone to listen to them, so they know that someone cares, and there are people out there who care about us. Use these people to confide in. We all need each other at different times in our lives, no matter what the situation is..........Sincerely, Mykinzie

Bless you and THANK YOU for taking the time to share your own experience and also for being willing to help others who are going thru this same horrible trauma. In 2001, my daughter lost a child at birth and while some people might not think of this as being too traumatic, it was horrible. She was a beautiful little girl and greatly wanted.

So again I say thank you for helping others thru this tragedy. God bless you. Peace, Lee

Hello Lee. Well thank you too for ackknowledging that I did help someone else out! That's what I'm here for now. A very big reason anyways! A little while after Kory died, I wrote a story that was published and that was the beginning of me knowing I wanted to share my story as much as possible with others. However, I am not a happily ever after story. The day Kory died was the day I started drinking in excess to be numb. Its been years now and today I have 6 months sober. Its ok though. Once again, this is my story. Its real. And you just made my day by what you posted for me to read! God bless you too! Marla

Marla, congrats on the sobriety, and for sharing your story here. I posted on the thread on PTSD forum, but also wanted to say welcome to you here.

My son Richie would have been 25 years old today. He went to be an angel when he was 5 and 1/2 months old. We had a horrible pregnancy, pre-eclampcia, they admitted us at 28 weeks pregnent for the duration, at 35 weeks our blood pressure was at stroke level even on magnesium. He was 4 and 1/2 lbs when they let me bring him home from the hospital. I was 21 years old. I didnt know what SIDS was, I just knew that I loved him. He started getting, big, rolling over, holding his bottle, laughing and smiling, then he left me. Lost, empty, what did I do wrong, how could I have prevented it. since then I studied everything I could get my hands on... Expert at CPR and terribly over protective of my other three children. God has my oldest angel but did bless me with three more. They never replaced Richie, his birthday 10/13 and day of passing 3/26 are always hard. If someone anyone can help me get a grasp on this even today after all this time I would be eternally greatful

hello cespicer

I just wanted to say how sad I feel for you. I don't think one can ever fully get a grasp on the loss of a child, even with the passing of the years. I am thankful you have other children, even though I do understand how they could never take Richie's place.
Praying God's comfort for you.

I too wanted to welcome you and say how sorry I am for your loss.

I lost 4 children (but all before they were born), so I certainly feel your pain ....
even though the circumstances are different.

I have just finished reading this blog related to JJ Heller's new song "Olivianna"

I hope this will bring comfort to anyone mourning the loss of a child
http://www.groverstyleblog.com/olivianna/



The song "Olivianna" is on JJ's new album "When I'm With You". I dont see it on you tube yet but it probably will be soon. Here is JJ's site with clips. http://www.jjheller.com/music.asp

It is such a tough time of year and I'm so thankful to read your story. Most people who know me think I'm fine...but the ones closest to me, like my boyfriend, just can't understand. My son died 2 days after thanksgiving. He was 2 months old, had been sick a lot, but had started sleeping through the night. I woke up around 6am, and picked him up and he was cold. I didn't know what to do...I asked my now ex husband what to do...called 911, and I haven't been completely the same since. It has been 5 years this last thanksgiving. I don't break down like I used to, but I still have my days. Everybody says I need to get over it...but I can't completely. I still have some hardcore breakdowns. The doctor diagnosed me with ptsd, but a lot of people I know call bull. Am I crazy?

Hello Michelle and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I am so very sorry for your loss, and no! You are not crazy. It's quite normal to have feelings of loss, or despair and I'm sure it must be hard for others to understand your feelings, having not experienced such tragedy themselves.

I don't know if you're up to it but there's a great book out that might help you a bit. It's called : "When A Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death" by Nancy Kohner & Alix Henley. The book is amassed of stories from other parents who lost a child, their emotions, and how they were helped by others and how they helped themselves. I was able to read it online at the following website: http://books.google.com.au/books?id=...page&q&f=false

Chemar has posted just above your post, about a new song called "Olivianna", and she has given some links that might bring you some comfort. Do have a look.