NeuroTalk Support Groups - What to say to a 'Dying Person' ?

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- - What to say to a 'Dying Person' ? (https://www.neurotalk.org/coping-with-grief-and-loss/128775-dying-person.html)

:Good-Post:

I was going to add something like "everything is gonna be alright" :hug:

Thinking about you dear Rrae !!! :hug: :grouphug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burntmarshmallow (Post 678941)

I just recently found my very close long time school friend is terminal. we have been talking allot lately about old times, ... we talk about worries or wonder what it will be like. ending life in dignity . talk about how things are never fair .
I told her of a recent dream . and she said I made her cry. Now I feel bad. the dreams did not make me feel like crying. it made me feel comfort and connected .It was like I got to spend a very awesome time, with a sister I havent seen in a long time. ... that is what I told her too.
WAS THAT WRONG? insenitive ?? I didnt even think it would make her cry.
So what do you say to a dying person?????????? What do you say to a dying person who dose not want but a very few knowing they are dying ?? :(:smileypray::Sob:

TEARS....
tears are a beautiful thing...... :hug:
i'm sure the tears brought on by the dream you shared were because you touched her in a deep way.
This post you shared brought on tears......even seeing that you tagged a 'thank you' on the posts brought tears! I was SO glad to see you come here and share...it touched me and i cried.
Crying is a wonderful release.......

Everything you do for people, BMW, you put your entire heart and soul into it.
please don't feel a 'burden' that you made your friend cry.......there are bound to be tears, MANY tears..... your friend is very fortunate to have you, like you shared - she doesn't want many people to 'know'...
Well, you are one she is confiding to....
Cry the tears with her...

.....:(...sometimes i feel as tho the people who are going to be left behind are the ones who suffer even moreso than the person on the brink of passing....

Thank you so much for sharing, and i'm so sorry about your friend....
i hope she is not suffering a lot of physical pain.

tears are priceless.....
Rae

http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/4...xyerq17ep1.jpg

Quote:

Originally Posted by pooh_ac (Post 678943)

As a "former" hospice nurse, please know that the most important thing is letting them know they are loved, also that it is alright to "move on" to heaven when they are called. Sometimes they need that permission to move on. Dont be afraid to cry as you are starting a grievig process. Live review is also VERY important. Reminds you and your loved one that there have been many, good times and times you will remember.
:hug:z

I did not realize you worked in Hospice!! :hug:
ANYBODY who works in Hospice deserves a HUGE appreciation HUG!

I've seen up close and first hand, the precious value there is in those who give their time to help the loved one during their last days.....not to mention the family members who are struggling and drained physically and emotionally as they come to terms with this very sad time...... priceless....

Thank you Pooh
Rae
:hug:

http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...mk0gamrgex.png....in memory

Tears say more things than any word.... :hug:

Pure and true feeling...

I do appreciate when people make me cry... :hug: Priceless.

No tears are not priceless when one has an expiration time table.... smiles are priceless .
I am not good at this. :( but not backing down . Plan to go visit her in very near future..you are all much help .
Pooh :hug:
Rae :hug:
sabimax :hug:
Blue :hug:
PEACE
BMW

Well, tears come down when somebody is terminal because we love that person... we have memories with that person... we will miss that person... :) :hug: That's why they are priceless... :winky:

Of course, the double combo tears + smiles is waaaaaaaay better :p

Thinking about you.

[QUOTE=Rrae;679111]I did not realize you worked in Hospice!! :hug:
ANYBODY who works in Hospice deserves a HUGE appreciation HUG!

I've seen up close and first hand, the precious value there is in those who give their time to help the loved one during their last days.....not to mention the family members who are struggling and drained physically and emotionally as they come to terms with this very sad time...... priceless....

Rae, I was a Hospice nurse until May, did homecare and hospice for 8 years here in the hills surrounding good ol nowhere. My old body hated the driving more then the hours on my feet. So I have given my bod a break (I think) and am now working in surgery and in acute care at a small hospital.
But I still remember how to do it, and how ever so important it is to tell your friends it is ok to go. Yet we get as much from the patients and their families as they get from our care and support.

Its just a thing I do in my spare min as SUPER NURSE.
:hug:Z

Dear Friend I Care

Oh Dear Rae-

I so do care for your family, for you, for your aunt in this situation. Such is the difficult task to bear, but you are equal for sure. Several times I have been there at bedside for my beloved paternal Grandma, my maternal Grandma, friends..... What have I said? Sometimes it has been in the nature of sitting and holding their hand when they needed it, kissing them for we both needed it, and sharing the profound way in which they have affected and are affecting my life, telling them I love them, sharing that it is OK for them to go into Jesus' hands for He is there beside them. Interesting, for I have had them reply to me not only that they knew Jesus was there, but that they could see Him [of course, these times of sharing are preceded by family willingness that my sharing be so open. Some have wishes otherwise, and I respect it].

Oh yeah, I cry and have cried. How could one not? Surely, it is in the open hearted sharing of emotion that we each are bound one to another, co-travellers on this difficult path called life. Oh, and hug, yep hug that loved one because I guarantee you both need it.

Sorry I am so late to this important thread of the quilt in your life, dear friend.
You are all in my prayers,:smileypray:
Mark56 :hug:z

Each of us is different and the circumstances before this issue are never pleasant!

Just don't leave things that should be said, unsaid! Once folks are gone? They are gone... restrain on the 'family 'issues'', and more on the you and I issues, and what has been good? And the wish that other things could've been fixed, tho they weren't.
That sounds unpleasant? But it's not, really. Why? Because whatever has caused good or ill will between you is gonna be disolved soon.
I did that with a relative, and got a final 'I'm sorry' which will keep me going thru all sorts of nasty potential mind-traps and other things for my lifetime. And, I'm not going to get into any future 'mind-traps' anytime soon! You have to go thru with things honestly, cleanly and with heart felt clarity.
Of course? This is far easier said than done? But take a step back and look at it from afar? Then more closely. That motivates others, even family, is waaay different from what motivates US! I don't know about you? But I tend to back away from these 'things'? Only as a way of self preservation or sanity. IF you sort it out clearly in your mind? Sometimes you can clear the air and have better relationships with other family members.
And YES!!!! Hospice care folks do deserve something MORE than gold stars! I got to see that first hand last year when I was in a 'rehab facility'! Some carers were soo super? Others were downright nasty! We do deserve care with dignity? Tho at times it just doesn't happen!
My heart is with you, and I'm crying now... so -- :hug::hug::hug::hug:'s! - j

Thinking about you Rrae !! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: