Thank you all for opening your hearts and sharing.
This is a very sensitive issue for most people and I appreciate that you've talked openly about it.....

I've been gone the past several days to spend time with my aunt....
She was SO brave! Never ONCE did she make mention of any pain, distress, woes, sorrow. She never even focused on her illness at all! At least not during the time I was there with my family. If anybody ventured toward the discussion of 'dying'.....she steered the conversation back toward talking about LIFE! About LIVING LIFE while it's here!
She didn't open herself to pity or feeling sorry, or even asking 'why' !
She simply wanted to 'see' all her relatives....and to laugh with us.

You wouldn't even had known she is sick (except for her hair gone from the chemo and carrying around her little morphine bag - which looked more like a little handbag, not like the morphine 'pumps' you see in hospitals.)
She did not draw attention to any of that.

We did what Jo*Mar spoke of.......talked memories....lots and lots of memories..good AND 'bad'

Thank you Dahlek, you are so right. Leave the family 'nitpicking' alone.....
Love covers all. The time to visit her was short, so we had to make it count.
She loved talking about future things (such as my 1st grandbaby on the way)....as tho she was going to 'be there'.....in other words...she chose to talk about life going on.....not about life coming to an end.

And, thank you Mark, like you said.....just listening. Lots of listening.
To this day I don't really know where she is at 'spiritually'. That is something she never really talked about openly.....so, I respected that as well. I would have LOVED to talk endlessly about the future hope we have and my love of the Lord.....but since she didn't open up to that, I left well enough alone.
All I do know is that they recently joined a church. So, I guess that says something. Some people keep their spirituality a very very private thing and choose not to talk about it. I respect that.

Again, thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts on this. It really means alot to me.....

and thank you Blue..... your hugs are so very special!
A hug sure goes a long way

Rae

What an incredible woman your Aunt is Rrae...thank you for sharing her with us!

Thank you so much for sharing this precious but hard moments with us dear Rrae You and your aunt are a couple of sweethearts

Thank you for starting this thread. It gives us all an opportunity to see those difficult but at the same time poignant moments. The most beautiful words in the English language have to be : " I love you " and "See you soon". Thanks for those.

We do not know the day nor the hour. It is also futile to speculate if the person in a moment of extreme sadness or depression might have shortened his life. There is always that other unanswered question that ought to accompany any such speculation and that refers to the very last thought in the very last second when that person might have asked God for forgiveness or merely thought "God".

That would indeed be the beautiful beginning of an everlasting life.

I've been gone for several days since the last time i posted on this thread and when i logged on and saw your words.....wow

I wish i woulda had those words in mind to share with my
grieving father who is battling so many regrets and 'cats in the cradle'.......
Just this weekend we visited him.....and that 'unanswered question' came around in a 'walking-on-eggshells' type of way.....

Thank you for that very touching and straightforward point of view...
It really touched the heartstrings.....
There is much Wisdom in what you shared and I will latch on to that in a heartbeat.....

Rae

This post was very helpful to me. My mom and I are currently trying to decide if we should head down to Omaha where my great aunt is in the ICU. Just found out she has leukemia and heart problems, and don't imagine she will make it very long. My mom doesn't want me to have to travel that far since it is even hard to get out of bed... but we know that this may be the last time we see her.

And yet the journey should be made if at all possible. It is as though Cleo and I are sitting around contemplating the forthcoming birthday of my Dad. Being set upon by Alzheimers, in a way, we are grieving in anticipation as he seems to slip a little more each day. His decline seems precipitous, and we will go to see him and Mom at his birthday the middle of this month. A long journey and I have not done so for so long because of the pain, BUT getting to tell him I love him and maybe have him remember who I am for a moment is a good thing and a hoped for possibility.

We are going to go. We are going to share. May your journey be swift and safe, and may your visit be sweet, the time of sharing and laughter, tears though they may come, may they be well understood for love expressions, for that is what they are.

God go with you and your Mom, Sarah,
Mark56

Thanks, Mark. We weren't able to go yet as she is still in the ICU and cannot have visitors.. but she will be in the hospital for at least a month... she started chemo today.. so we are going to try to make the trip when she can have visitors and is strong enough for that... it will be painful for me, but worth it.