david...so sorry for not having the strength or energy to be who you depended on..with you gone (due to me depending on others to help me) i am so afraid to let myself be the person i was towards others..so panicked that i will not be able to protect and care for them..and something awful will occur due to be not being able to give all i am...i am closing myself off,slowly. so when i come to join you it won't hurt too many others.. i know this is not what you wanted for me after you had to leave but things didn't end the way they should have..you had so much more life to live..and i regret the 20 min. i left you with the hospital aide...i doubt every decision i make... and need to break off all the attachments others have on me...so as to not cause anymore disappointment or death to anybody else i love...see you soon---sorry to disappoint you again---i am so tired of being in my own skin these days---too many dark days & even darker nights---everyone wants my advise and my help with their problems and i can't handle the responsibility anymore-----too damaged----- and lost without you...forgive me david for being so weak..my love for you is never-ending..and i need you now(but your not here) and i need to be alone so i can't cause more damage..forever your linda..

(((Linda))) You must forgive yourself...you know that David would want that.
The first and most important thing for you to do is take better care of yourself...obviously others are depending on you for their own well being but you have to take care of you first!

The burden of guilt is crushing...even "self assigned" guilt.

You are obviously a loving, generous and giving person. I for one, would feel blessed to have you in my family. Please know that you are part of a larger family by sharing your grief here.

((((((Linda))))))

alffie and julie thanks for the support...it is so very hard to get past all the loss,depression and all the pain i am and have been feeling for soooo long now... the only light i seem to see these days is so very dim...getting dimmer by the second....thanks again for caring...

Please go talk to your Dr. They do give medicine for this. Don't beat yourself down. We do love you, even tho we have never meet. I think of you so often and pray things will get better. You need to reach out and let others help you. Most of us don't know how or what to say. I do relize the grief is bothering you so, and seems to overwhelm you. I have felt it too, but not as bad as you. It does help to just get it out and we are here to listen. My dr. gave me some medicine and it made a world of difference. I don't need it anymore, but was thankful at the time.
Blessings,
Billie

I don't see how anyone could think of you as anything less than special. To care so much for other people is a truly wonderful and inspiring thing. But please love yourself too. We do. I think you are a beautiful person. Let that beauty out, where it can shine. I hope you can get through this feeling of doubt and realize you still have a lot to give and live for.

My Very Best Wishes,
Idealist