One year ago this week my husband had Brain Surgery. I went to put flowers on his grave tonight and I have a big o'le lump in my throat, that I can't hardly stand it. It is very unusal for me to get down and I don't know what to do about it. I am so tempted to call someone and just talk. I don't have much family and my husbands family pays no attention to me, and ever did. This feeling of being alone is hittting me hard tonight. I can usually keep busy, but I am to tired for that. Doing everything myself, has it's toll especially on Sunday. There is no TV that I would give 2 cents to watch and I sure don't want to read.

What does a person do to fill the time? I want to go somewhere and have someone to talk to. I am not interested in any man friend, not sure I ever will be. I had a good husband and it would be hard to fill his shoes. He's been dead 8 months this past Thursday and it seems like today. This kind of emptyness can't be filled with anything. I looked at my calendar and thats how I knew all these dates. Like the day he started Radiation & Chemo and the hopes we had. We were planning a vacation and the Doctors encouraged it. They even said he would live longer that he did. Like 8 months to 2 years. He lived almost 3 months. Will I be better tomorrow? Have you ever lost your husband?
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Billie