I hope this post is read in the context it is meant and that is it may be able to help someone else from Sydney NSW. Probably unlikely but it is the first time I have been able to write about it, so here goes.

The main reason for my post is my mother, she lost her firstborn at birth, she always told us she had another daughter. In those days (1951) you were not shown your baby it was taken straight off you and for most of my life I believed what she had been told and that was that the baby was placed in a coffin of another adult. We tried to find the truth, we even got her records when she was admitted to the same hospital many years later, the babies records were not there, but they send a social worker straight around to see here LOL a bit late. Anyway I finally found her death record and found she was buried at Rookwood Cemetery. We took a trip out there and as luck would have it the person who looked after this section was at the office, he explained a lot to us. All the babies had coffins and were given a proper burial with a minister, there are no gravestones, just one large grass area where about 30,000 babies from around Sydney are buried. We were able to purchase a star and place it in an area near, started by Bonnie Babes Foundation, which ceased last year. My mother was in her late 70s when we did all this, she did not want to go to her grave not knowing what happened to her baby. I know a lot of members here are not from Sydney but I post this in case it may help a relative of someone. The loss of a child never leaves. My mum did not dwell on this her whole life, she had too many other problems, it was just something that eased her mind in her later years.

I feel so much for each of you who have lost someone, especially a child. I do not think anyone ever really gets over this. I had three miscarriages, although they upset me at the time, I had a child to look after so got on with things then eventually had my beautiful daughter. We say now it took four goes to get perfection LOL. My daughter on the other hand has lost two babies, it has really affected her, I think as they were her first, even more so. Also being a midwife she has to deal with women complaining they are pregnant and do not really want the baby.

I just found this on the internet, I will go and take mum to see this monument very soon.

Alan Brown is supervising the installation of a new monument - a large granite rock that has just been placed at the entrance to a grassy area, just over the road from the Greek section. Underneath his feet are 30,000 dead babies. Until the 1970s, many hospitals tossed the bodies of stillborn infants into incinerators. The more enlightened used unmarked mass-graves such as this one. It has only recently been decided that these defeated children are children all the same and their time and passing deserve marking. And so Brown is carefully installing a boulder. The 46-year-old was a landscaper and green-keeper until 1991 when he became a full-time trustee of the Independent section.

I am so glad this does not happen today, there must be so many mothers out there that do not know their babies are here. I am so glad I persevered and found the truth.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Thanks to you, Mayden.

Bless you for sharing this!

My brother was stillborn two years before I was born; he was my parents' first child. The umbilical cord became wrapped around his neck about three weeks before his due date.

This was in 1948. Until she died in 2000, Mom still said, "I wish I had insisted they let me see him." She always wished they had named him.

As your mother, she did not dwell on her loss, but his memory never left her and Dad. Every April she thought of him, and wondered what he would have been like.

HI Mayden,
I know I am a couple of years late replying to your message.
However, I want to say thanks for your message.

I know about the stars and have one there for my daughter. It is a lovely memorial.
However, I know my daughter is not buried there and I feel the need to have some kind of memorial near to her.
For years, I have been going to a really overgrown area in the Anglican section, thinking that's where my daughter is. However, I recently found out that she is in another section.

I have just been out there with some friends to find her section. I am pretty sure I now have the correct place. There are several gravesites marked with headstones although I know you are not meant to do that.

It is really quite peaceful there but a bit overgrown and needs some tidying up. I am planning on trying to get a memorial there and get some bush regeneration but not sure how I'll go.

My idea is called PROJECT ISABEL and I just wanted to let you know what I am doing. If you have any ideas, please let me know. I have a blog and twitter in this name. I feel very excited about my project.

kezza