Hummm this is not intended to offend anyone.

I have been dealing with my fathers suicide for a long period of time. I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced this. I found out a lot of secrets he had been hiding from us for years. A mistress, missing money and we took second fiddle. I’m wondering if I have step brothers and sisters…I only know her first name and where she used to work. She died a year before my dad took his life. Finding out has taken off some of the grief I have felt knowing he had a double life and many secrets. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks for listening,
fhawn

Hello fhawn, and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I'm sorry for all the problems that you've been dealing with and even more sorry to read about your father. Have you found our Survivors of Suicide Forum yet? It's a forum for those who have lost some-one to suicide, attempted suicide or else need help to fight the urge to end their own lives.

Please drop by and say hello. You'll find many, kind, listening ears over there. Here's the link: http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

Though life seem difficult at best
this recent trial and loss a quest
to bring some sense to what has gone
why one so loved would leave undone
the fullness of the reach of love
where valued and earnest it was
then questions come
of life undone
why did these things arise
and cause thee to fly
in family extended here
one such did thus who was loved so dear
and wife and son he did leave
with questions grieve
for though he went with pain so deep
his family longed so him to keep
but he was overcome with thoughts
which drove him do what no one ought
and many years have passed since then
their lives established firm again
so filled with faith and love are these
who in our family at one time grieved
the deepest scar took time to heal
and now though he is gone for real
the wife and son are bonded deep
and sharing care with family tree
branches wrapped so firmly round
their aching souls they now have found
through depth of grief a saving hand
was Christ extending love to them with plans
to prosper them in years to come
so pain could ultimately be ininterspersed with joy
and weekend last as we did spend
time visiting once more precikous moments with them
there were smile adorning every face
and sharing of fond memories, grief turned to grace.

Dear Fhawn, it has taken years for we who experienced such a loss of a nephew-in-law who chose that path. Yet time and love have brought healing in our family so full circle we have come to share joy at the now grown son of his who was a toddler then. Answers to all questions never have come, but healing has with therapy and with love. Our neice is such a beautiful soul, and her son is a strong and loving son to her to behold. He is graduated college now and successfully engaged both in business and a love whom we hope will become still another beautiful soul in our extended family.

So, as Koala has led you to seek help on a sub forum which is good and helpful, I thought I would just drop by to spread concern, hope, and love.
Prayers accompany you,
Mark56zzzzzz