There is a saying... I'll paraphrase it here:

The more you LOVE, the more you GRIEVE. People with little or no capacity for love, do not feel loss and grief the same way as others.

In other words, your grief is comparable to your capacity to LOVE.

There are so many kittens lost with no homes. Destroyed or suffering abandonment because no one will LOVE them. I think with some time you will understand this and give one lost little kitty a loving home. Minki taught you this. That is her legacy for you.

Time will point the way for you in this. All living things end. We cannot control this, but to turn away, because of it, does not help any other poor pet languishing for a home.

Don't rush yourself, and choose carefully if you decide to let another pet into your life.

Hi Markus
 

I do feel your loss. I feel my own loss too, your minky, my scruffy. Grief is very hard, and I do still feel it two years later. I have his pictures over my bed. I cried for months. six months later I had a strange experience. My son had two cats, I didn't pay them much mind. Sean was gone alot to work, wasn't home much, left the food down, didn't pay attention to one of them all that much. I went over there, and this strange cat comes running up to me, begging for human contact, hugging, petting, just anything. He was desperate!!!!!! I asked my son if I could take him home. I know for sure he helped my grief. I do not love him like I did scruffy, but he curls up next to me at night, and I pet him and look at scruffys picture. He would have approved of this new friendship. I don't think I will become attached as I was ever again. sometimes that kind of bond is a once in lifetime experience, I believe that. When you feel better, tell me about minky. We can swap stories and shed a tear or two together. I didn't think I would get another cat, it was spur of the moment decision, I put him in the car, where he promply peed all over me. That was this new start:winky: ginnie:hug:

10 Days later....
 

It is 10 days ago since Minki passed away and I am crying less than the first 4 days.
I suppose it is maybe part of the grieving process but I do feel like I would not mind to also depart from this world. Please do not understand me wrong, I am definitely not suicidal and would never do something stupid. My faith is too strong and I have been down before, so I know from experience that life does get better. It is the first time after experiencing lows in my life before, that I actually feel this way. It is almost as if Minki's death was just enough to trigger this notion.
There are obviously more negative things in my life which contribute to me feeling this way, and Minki's death is just one too many to handle now.
I have mentioned before that I am on my own and not many friends to turn to. I am so grateful to this website where I can talk about it.
One other good thing I did was to go back to my Al Anon group for support and they welcomed me so warmly. So for the next few weeks I will be there every Monday night, but for the rest of the week I am on my own.
She was so special in her own way and I am missing her a lot.

Beautiful Minki
 

I still am thinking about you. I know that you are grieving. At some point your tears will dry, but you still will need alot of time to feel better. Minky is with scruffy, drinking now from the same water bowl. I am sure they have met by now. If the thumb picture is minky, I have to say, she was beautiful. I felt sick at first too, and depressed enough that I didn't want to go on either for those first few weeks. When you have medical problems, and are alone, it is alot to handle. You must be a very good person to have loved minky so well. I always thought if I got to come back and had a choice, I would pick to be a well loved:hug: cat, in a home that was what we gave our friends. You are not alone. I am always around, many of my friends are here on NT too. Where is your home? keep in touch and stay strong, ginnie

Hi mrsD, I have thought about this and I think what could be a possibility is to maybe look for someone who is going on vacation or away on business and needs someone to look after their cat while away. In this way I can give love again and the cat will not be with me too long, so I will feel safe from getting hurt again. I think I would enjoy doing this. Still only thinking about it for now.

Photos of Minki.
 

I am new to this website and am still learning where to do things and how. I have created an album and am not sure how to let people know where to look if they are interested. Maybe you can see it without me telling you, but I put photos of Minki up for everyone to see. She was a beautiful cat and a real lady.

Awww.. she was a beautiful and sweet cat. Obviously loving you tremendously!

The photos are wonderful. I have some of our cats past and present on my album too.

When Sheba died at 24 of kidney failure, I cried for many days.
But we still had two others, Tippy, also old, and Oreo only 12.
Well, Tippy became depressed when Sheba passed, and 2.5 months later had a blood clot in her spine, and had to be put to sleep (severe suffering and no treatment works). They were friends for 20 yrs. Tippy was a gentle sweet cat too. That second loss for me pushed me over an edge to depression. So I found Weezie, a few days later out of grief, and she is turning into a wonderful companion. (She was the only cat left in a rare winter litter, because she was black and timid and no one would adopt her).


Oreo has developed a slow cancer of the bone marrow, called a mast cell carcinoma, and has outlived predictions so far. Now she is 14 and losing weight, and we know the end for her is near. I think we will get another cat after she passes. Oreo is mostly my husband's cat...so I'll let him decide for now. So far her medication is holding her in a new remission cycle. This will be the 3rd pulse of steroids, so I don't see her surviving much longer.

So I do believe that if you are a true blue cat person, you will eventually need another cat. You will always have Minki in your heart. I have several cats now that way from the past 45 yrs!;)

Aw, what a cutie pie! I love her little white "socks". You obviously love her very much and I'm sure she was spoiled.....as all cats should be.

Taking care of other pets is a good idea. You can ease yourself back into opening up your heart again. :)

Oh, she's beautiful, Markus! It looks like you maybe saved her life when she was a kitten? That can develop a strong bond.

Becoming a cat sitter is a wonderful idea.

I hope you wait a while before getting a cat or kitten of your own. The urge to compare will always be there, but may lessen in time. Maybe a new companion will find you!

My friends saved her life when they picked her up from a gravel road between farms on new years eve 5 years ago. Looked as if she was hit by a car, not sure, and where they found her there was no house close by.
My friend's wife insisted and they took her to a vet. She recovered but the split in her gum remained and the one tooth was missing till she passed away. She was also smaller than other cats and when sleeping her little tongue always hanged out.....so cute.
The other photo was when she had a skin disease and my friend's wife put this ointment all over her body and she recovered from that as well. Shortly after that (about 4 months old according to my vet) she was given to me.