Love it-"That would drive me nuts too"..ha ha. Kind of admits it, but says he can manage it on his own. I keep trying because I'm scared to get div. and move and stuff! What if I regret it?

Tak,

Thats OK ---you have to follow your gut. If/when there comes a time you will know for sure. I still would always have a plan or start making one just in case ..like savings account for yourself etc...if that does come it just makes it easier one less thing to worry about. I admire that you keep trying and it will be easier for you in the long to deal with a divorce and mentally to heal from it --because you will know tried your best. At our age and spending 20 yrs with someone -- its very normal to be scared and start over thats why I suggest you always have a back up plan.Its your life and you have do what feel right for you.

Actually, seeing the "I can manage it on my own" phenomenon being played out through a brother-in-law of mine, I am certain such statements are hogwash. Last weekend, being with family mourning the loss of a sister-in-law to RSD associated matters, we had to deal with brother-in-law's dysfuntion, his berating me, his emotional pummeling both me and my blessed wife, and to tell you the truth, I HAD ENOUGH OF IT FOR A LIFETIME.... there, I shouted and got it out....

When challenging brother-in-law to seek and GET help, having him sit in a chair opposite me screwing his face up and pounding his forehead with index finger saying "I am working on it myself.... in here" I am absolutely certain he is denying every opportunity to receive true help. He is a controller. He is lost. He causes harm with nearly every word issued from his mouth.

I am done with him. Don't need the "brain damage" anymore.

That is just my take on "managing it on his own."

Blessings,