I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have any siblings? Maybe you could have a little service with them. It doesn't have to be a big production. Even if you took some of her ashes and set them free in her favorite place. It is said that funerals are for the living because it helps to have closure. My Mother died in 2009 and my Dad died in January this year. Both of them were cremated and we had a small service for each of them. They are now together at the cemetery where we can go see them anytime. It is comforting to have them together in this beautiful place. I pray that you find answers and peace in your life!