Loss
So deep that wonder emerged whether I would survive
Body wracked by pain
So visceral
I screamed end on end until lapsing
Unto the bliss of unconsciousness
No more the athlete
Career not only shambles, but evaporated as mist
"Friends" in the profession turning away,
Probably out of fear
It could be catching
Or
They might feel it
Or
It is not honorable to watch one slip from vitality
Alone, but for family, very closest of friends,
Cash passes as though through a sieve
Lasts a while
Yet finally missing as though smoke from snuffed candle
Home and possessions sold
Thank God
Brings some financial reprieve
Food on the table
Shelter
But
Pain overwhelmed yet still
Docs
Meds
Surgery upon surgery upon surgery
Disability
Morose
Sought escape
None found
SCS implant
Some control over major pain
But not all
Could dance no more
Hiking by wheelchair, not astride sturdy legs
SPOUSE, my blessing encouraged me - grow
Sought career once more
Doors made fast , declining market, openings where?
I dwelled in self pity, and too long for my health
Near calamity
THEN inspiration
Reach out, outreach
Connect
Network
SO MANY like me
Without career, profession-less
What about them?
Started small group
Compared notes
Shared networking strategies
Practiced skills
Then
One
By
One
Each found revival of employment
Self esteem restored, providing again
Sweet
And
Even I, broken, yet capable
Grasped opportunity
And hope became promise morphed to work exploded into joy
Truly NOT as lofty as once held in my career valise
Yet.....enough.....and gratifying
At long last
Yes
Still have pain
Have had more surgeries
Meds held at bay for breakthrough need
Thankful for SPOUSE who encouraged, legion of medical pros
Who helped
And
Counseling which centers my focus
A path
Now used oft with cane
And my wheelchairs
Which leads to me being whole

My prayer for you, too,
M56