Hey caroline
 

Background on family: I was raised an Air Force brat. I was born in California, we then went on to Alaska. By that time I was around 10 and had never been to Ga to meet my family. I think my Mama Jewel visited us once while in California. I had no 'concept of family', especially a Southern one !

I was immediately surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. And I loved it. Even though we continued to travel we were always close and came home for the Holidays. (Stationed in South Carolina and Florida twice before he retired)

From the time I met my extended family all I ever wanted was a strong, loving, supportive family of my own. We've had our up and downs as a family but always come back to each other. Because of my son I've crawled up in our recliner and cried my eyes out for weeks on end at times. He's a manly man but also a mama's boy. He's 35 now and those bad years are gone I hope :)

Shots in back: The info says LI Transforaminal and he gave me 3 of them. We'll see how it goes. He said it would not help with the SFN but I'm hoping somehow it will.

Take care caroline :)

Debi

Thanks and I looked it up, so it's strong steroid. I had 2 scripts for epidurals about 3 yrs ago and just could not do them. I've had a steroid in one shoulder and it gave me some relief for a while and a steroid in my knee once and it did nothing. For the most part I avoid steroids. As I heard long ago, they are the best and worst drug.

I'm closer to prolozone (ozone/oxygen) injections which I've read can restore our joints. I need to cough up my own money as health insurance does not cover. In my long life, insurance covers protocols that harm. I'm dealing with a mess from hip replacement, medicare paid 80% and I'm working trying to manage what I'm left with. So this is where I come from.

On our travels, I left my eastern roots 50 yrs ago and left all family back there. My daughter and grandkids are here but my daughter has a full plate raising her children as their father died a couple yrs ago at 55..and she has some health challenges so I don't count on anyone. Can't. A gf offers to take me places that I don't want to drive to but I haven't taken her up on that as I stay close to home for my remedies such as they are.

We all manage as we can. Thanks Debi and good luck with those injections.

((((( Debi )))))
 

Hi Debi,

You have been on my mind.

I am just catching up on your thread.

You have such an amazing heart, Debi. :hug:
Your heart is just huge!

The anniversary times are difficult, for sure.
I understand, too, about memories popping up in a medical setting.
One of my brothers was in surgical ICU for two months before passing on.
I was there with him so much, I became sensitized to the noises in the ICU.
Their phone system had a very unusual ring to it.

The first time I was back in the hospital building, long after my brother had passed, I heard that ring... and, I had immediately started sobbing. The ring pattern of the phone system had tapped into a deep well of sadness.

I, too, am so glad you are surrounded by family.
I see so many people in my neighborhood, people with many adult children in the area, sitting all alone on holidays, etc. I check on them and invite them to come over and/or make extra when making meals and take it over to them.
I love to do this and have not been able to do it as much as I'd like lately.

Yes, I agree, make sure your loved ones know you love them.
I also often say: If we love someone, we must make sure they feel our love.
It's too easy to say we love without demonstrating our love to one another.;)

I hope you are warm, comfortable, happy and surrounded by Love tonight.

Much Love to you, Debi.

:hug:
DejaVu

You are such a wonderful person DejaVu
 

Coconut Pie? Yum!
 

Oh, yum!!!

I am glad you've told me you are taking your food to Christina's, as I was ready to stop by. I can smell the coconut pie! :D

It's tough to have patience with grieving. It all takes time and it's all to be expected. Just feels so darned .... sad. :( Uggghhh! :hug:

I am glad you will be with your family tonight, Debi.

:grouphug:

Love to All,
DejaVu

Hey Debi,

NO thanks on the coconut pie but I would love the deviled eggs. (Just don't like coconut at all.)

There seems to be no way of speeding up the grieving process but it sure would be nice if we could stop the hurt.

And DejaVu is right,...I have never met anyone that can be so giving of themselves to others while in the midst of their own grief.

Your kind and caring nature is unaltered by any thing that is going on in your own life. And that IS amazing.

Not doing very well :(
 

My dear Debi,

Yes, you are in our thoughts and our prayers. Just when we think we know what grief is like because of other loved ones we have lost, when you lose a spouse, it can be a VERY different experience. The pain is so deep it feels unbearable.

There are many support groups for grief that may be of interest to you while you wait for your insurance coverage to kick in for one on one professional help. Sometimes the funeral home can put you in touch with support groups. I know that you are not able to get around much when family members are at work since driving is so difficult for you.

It is hard enough for a healthy person to deal with grief, but when you add a painful chronic condition to the mix, they will feed off of each other. To be in pain is depressing in itself. To be grieving is depressing in itself. Add the two together and one can fall into a very deep hole of depression. Which one is contributing to the other? BOTH.

The grief and depression will compound your pain and your pain will compound your grief and depression.

You may want to discuss this with your favorite doctor and maybe medication may help you during this initial and so painful time in your journey to find life without Bubba. Not the kind of medication that will turn you into a zombie, but something that will ease the emotional pain to a more bearable level.

Time is NOT your friend right now because it seems to move so slowly during the grieving process. It WILL be your friend in the long run, but it is much too soon to rely upon time alone.

Being so limited by your disability only exacerbates your emotional pain. You have a much more difficult struggle than someone that is able to immerse themselves into some physical activity.

Please know that we are hurting with and for you as you try to build your new life without the man you loved and with whom you shared your entire adult life.

I feel sure that you even miss the little arguments that couples have over insignificant matters that seemed important at the time. How you long to be able to have one of those now if that meant you had him with you. It is not just the good times you miss, but also the times that were not the finest moments.

As time passes, you will find that you can't even remember anything that was not great about Bubba. You will ONLY remember all the goodness. When that happens, you will be moving further along in the grieving process. You will ALWAYS miss him, it will just get easier to bear. All the little triggers will have less of an impact on you but that is a long way off right now.

Please know how much we care about you and how much we wish we could alleviate this pain. We appreciate your sharing your heart and your thoughts with us. Please continue to keep us posted on your feelings and your struggles to adjust to this horrendous loss in your life.

When you get too sad for words, try to think about Bubba looking down at you and saying, "I miss you, too, my dear Debi, but I don't want you to be sad." Think of some of the things he would say to you if he were sitting next to you. Listen for his words. They will drown out the hurt in your heart. He may even make you smile or laugh. He might say something to you that may cheer you as you know what he would say.

He IS still with you. You just have to listen for HIS words. Right now, your breaking heart is drowning out his voice. Don't concentrate on what HE is missing by having his life cut short,... think about what he would be saying to you.

Hope you get some pain relief as that will help with the emotions. Pain AND grief are a double whammy, so be kind to yourself.

((((( Debi )))))
 

Hi Debi,

Hope, bless her heart, has just written quite a post, yet again.:D
This one leaves me speechless. :eek: What an amazing post written by Hope.:D

I am not often speechless, by the way.

I have been thinking of you, wondering what I would read upon my return.

I am sorry you are feeling so down. I do feel it's a part of the grieving process and "normal."

I do think counseling/therapy or a support group could be helpful to you. I so wish my mother had gone this route. I honestly feel it would have helped her so much. I feel you know yourself very well and will be able to discern what will and won't be helpful to you.

I know the process you are going through will be a long one, not an impossible one, yet a challenging one. :hug:

Please know we all love you, hold you dear to us, and support you.

Offering Love, Light (to ward off the darkness) and Support,

DejaVu

Dear Debi,

Hope and DejaVu have said it all so well. I just want to remind you that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

Do watch this Depression, I know you are fighting it now but it can easily overwhelm. Physical pain feeds it, you have a very valid, recent emotional loss to contend with as well. Do speak to a Therapist and/or at least discuss ADs.

Be kind to yourself, lean on your family, Post to us.

Dave.