advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-31-2015, 12:04 PM #111
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
5 yr Member
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
5 yr Member
Default Hey caroline

Quote:
Originally Posted by caroline2 View Post
Debi. what are these shots in your back? I deal with OA started in lower back about 60 yrs ago...so I know back issues and stiffness and pain. Sounds like you have nice family support.

Background on family: I was raised an Air Force brat. I was born in California, we then went on to Alaska. By that time I was around 10 and had never been to Ga to meet my family. I think my Mama Jewel visited us once while in California. I had no 'concept of family', especially a Southern one !

I was immediately surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. And I loved it. Even though we continued to travel we were always close and came home for the Holidays. (Stationed in South Carolina and Florida twice before he retired)

From the time I met my extended family all I ever wanted was a strong, loving, supportive family of my own. We've had our up and downs as a family but always come back to each other. Because of my son I've crawled up in our recliner and cried my eyes out for weeks on end at times. He's a manly man but also a mama's boy. He's 35 now and those bad years are gone I hope

Shots in back: The info says LI Transforaminal and he gave me 3 of them. We'll see how it goes. He said it would not help with the SFN but I'm hoping somehow it will.

Take care caroline

Debi
St George 2013 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
bluesfan (10-31-2015), DejaVu (11-01-2015), Hopeless (11-01-2015), Lara (10-31-2015)

advertisement
Old 10-31-2015, 01:55 PM #112
caroline2 caroline2 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 2,604
5 yr Member
caroline2 caroline2 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 2,604
5 yr Member
Default

Thanks and I looked it up, so it's strong steroid. I had 2 scripts for epidurals about 3 yrs ago and just could not do them. I've had a steroid in one shoulder and it gave me some relief for a while and a steroid in my knee once and it did nothing. For the most part I avoid steroids. As I heard long ago, they are the best and worst drug.

I'm closer to prolozone (ozone/oxygen) injections which I've read can restore our joints. I need to cough up my own money as health insurance does not cover. In my long life, insurance covers protocols that harm. I'm dealing with a mess from hip replacement, medicare paid 80% and I'm working trying to manage what I'm left with. So this is where I come from.

On our travels, I left my eastern roots 50 yrs ago and left all family back there. My daughter and grandkids are here but my daughter has a full plate raising her children as their father died a couple yrs ago at 55..and she has some health challenges so I don't count on anyone. Can't. A gf offers to take me places that I don't want to drive to but I haven't taken her up on that as I stay close to home for my remedies such as they are.

We all manage as we can. Thanks Debi and good luck with those injections.
__________________
OA onset at 18, now 81. Fibro onset at 61, Hip Replacement "mess" 72 (nerve damage, IT band damage, shorter leg). Otherwise, pretty good health.

Most important supplement: grape seed extract
caroline2 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-01-2015), PamelaJune (11-07-2015), St George 2013 (10-31-2015)
Old 11-01-2015, 05:37 PM #113
DejaVu's Avatar
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
10 yr Member
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
DejaVu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
10 yr Member
Heart ((((( Debi )))))

Hi Debi,

You have been on my mind.

I am just catching up on your thread.

You have such an amazing heart, Debi.
Your heart is just huge!

The anniversary times are difficult, for sure.
I understand, too, about memories popping up in a medical setting.
One of my brothers was in surgical ICU for two months before passing on.
I was there with him so much, I became sensitized to the noises in the ICU.
Their phone system had a very unusual ring to it.

The first time I was back in the hospital building, long after my brother had passed, I heard that ring... and, I had immediately started sobbing. The ring pattern of the phone system had tapped into a deep well of sadness.

I, too, am so glad you are surrounded by family.
I see so many people in my neighborhood, people with many adult children in the area, sitting all alone on holidays, etc. I check on them and invite them to come over and/or make extra when making meals and take it over to them.
I love to do this and have not been able to do it as much as I'd like lately.

Yes, I agree, make sure your loved ones know you love them.
I also often say: If we love someone, we must make sure they feel our love.
It's too easy to say we love without demonstrating our love to one another.

I hope you are warm, comfortable, happy and surrounded by Love tonight.

Much Love to you, Debi.


DejaVu
__________________
May we have the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to light our paths.
.



.

.
DejaVu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Kitty (11-05-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-07-2015), St George 2013 (11-01-2015)
Old 11-01-2015, 05:58 PM #114
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
5 yr Member
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
5 yr Member
Heart You are such a wonderful person DejaVu

Quote:
Originally Posted by DejaVu View Post
Hi Debi,

You have been on my mind.

I am just catching up on your thread.

You have such an amazing heart, Debi.
Your heart is just huge!

The anniversary times are difficult, for sure.
I understand, too, about memories popping up in a medical setting.
One of my brothers was in surgical ICU for two months before passing on.
I was there with him so much, I became sensitized to the noises in the ICU.
Their phone system had a very unusual ring to it.

The first time I was back in the hospital building, long after my brother had passed, I heard that ring... and, I had immediately started sobbing. The ring pattern of the phone system had tapped into a deep well of sadness.

I, too, am so glad you are surrounded by family.
I see so many people in my neighborhood, people with many adult children in the area, sitting all alone on holidays, etc. I check on them and invite them to come over and/or make extra when making meals and take it over to them.
I love to do this and have not been able to do it as much as I'd like lately.

Yes, I agree, make sure your loved ones know you love them.
I also often say: If we love someone, we must make sure they feel our love.
It's too easy to say we love without demonstrating our love to one another.

I hope you are warm, comfortable, happy and surrounded by Love tonight.

Much Love to you, Debi.


DejaVu
Nothing amazing about me dear friend. Just a silly 53 year old woman

I was having a horrible day....been crying on and off for 3 days. Not sure if what they knocked me out with on Friday morning is part of the problem or the 2 month mark.

I just keep getting choked up for no reason and then the tears just fall. I'm just so sad in my heart. See...there I go again.

Finally about an hour ago I made myself get up......turn on all the lights in the house (it's rainy and dreary here) made deviled eggs and about to take a coconut pie out of the oven. I'm usually not up to being in the kitchen at all but I did ok.

I will be surrounded by love tonight....going to Christina's for dinner and going to surprise them all with my 2 dishes.....they will be Shocked for sure !

Much love back to you too DejaVu !

And my Hope if you're reading this !

Debi
St George 2013 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-01-2015), EnglishDave (11-02-2015), Hopeless (11-01-2015), Kitty (11-05-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-07-2015)
Old 11-01-2015, 06:45 PM #115
DejaVu's Avatar
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
10 yr Member
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
DejaVu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
10 yr Member
Thumbs up Coconut Pie? Yum!

Oh, yum!!!

I am glad you've told me you are taking your food to Christina's, as I was ready to stop by. I can smell the coconut pie!

It's tough to have patience with grieving. It all takes time and it's all to be expected. Just feels so darned .... sad. Uggghhh!

I am glad you will be with your family tonight, Debi.



Love to All,
DejaVu
__________________
May we have the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to light our paths.
.



.

.
DejaVu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Kitty (11-05-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-07-2015), St George 2013 (11-01-2015)
Old 11-01-2015, 09:29 PM #116
Hopeless Hopeless is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,232
5 yr Member
Hopeless Hopeless is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,232
5 yr Member
Default

Hey Debi,

NO thanks on the coconut pie but I would love the deviled eggs. (Just don't like coconut at all.)

There seems to be no way of speeding up the grieving process but it sure would be nice if we could stop the hurt.

And DejaVu is right,...
Quote:
You have such an amazing heart, Debi.
Your heart is just huge!
I have never met anyone that can be so giving of themselves to others while in the midst of their own grief.

Your kind and caring nature is unaltered by any thing that is going on in your own life. And that IS amazing.
Hopeless is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-09-2015), EnglishDave (11-02-2015), Kitty (11-05-2015), Lara (11-01-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-07-2015), St George 2013 (11-01-2015)
Old 11-13-2015, 10:41 PM #117
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
5 yr Member
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
5 yr Member
Default Not doing very well :(

I've had some really bad days the last 2 weeks. Something happened at the 2 month mark of his passing and I'm just a mess. Can't think clearly, hysterical bouts of crying, sobbing. My feelings can go from 0 to 100 and back again in a second flat.

I'll have a new Advantage Plan in Jan and I know I've got to get some professional help in dealing with this. Between the pain of SFN and this mental torture I've got to do something.

My mind is all over the place every second that I am awake. My pain is much worse and I'm pretty sure the depression isn't helping one bit with that.

I was holding my 15 year old grandsons hand last night and it hit me how much I miss holding my Bubba's hand. Or putting my hand on his knee as we were driving or sitting beside each other. I miss hugging him tight and planting a kiss on his sweet lips or forehead. I miss every second of being with him or just knowing he was here on this earth.

I know this will all get easier. I just didn't know a person could suffer this much. I never really knew what our relationship meant to me until he was gone. I mean really deep down I had no idea who much I loved this man or how much his physical being meant to me.

I just wanted to share with all of you where I'm at right now. Not a good place at all. I keep the darkness at bay but it's always right outside wanting to get in but I won't let it.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for I need them badly right now. Let the light of your caring shine on me please.

Debi
St George 2013 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-14-2015), EnglishDave (11-14-2015), Hopeless (11-13-2015), Kitty (11-14-2015), Lara (11-13-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-18-2015), Susanne C. (11-14-2015)
Old 11-14-2015, 12:38 AM #118
Hopeless Hopeless is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,232
5 yr Member
Hopeless Hopeless is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,232
5 yr Member
Default

My dear Debi,

Yes, you are in our thoughts and our prayers. Just when we think we know what grief is like because of other loved ones we have lost, when you lose a spouse, it can be a VERY different experience. The pain is so deep it feels unbearable.

There are many support groups for grief that may be of interest to you while you wait for your insurance coverage to kick in for one on one professional help. Sometimes the funeral home can put you in touch with support groups. I know that you are not able to get around much when family members are at work since driving is so difficult for you.

It is hard enough for a healthy person to deal with grief, but when you add a painful chronic condition to the mix, they will feed off of each other. To be in pain is depressing in itself. To be grieving is depressing in itself. Add the two together and one can fall into a very deep hole of depression. Which one is contributing to the other? BOTH.

The grief and depression will compound your pain and your pain will compound your grief and depression.

You may want to discuss this with your favorite doctor and maybe medication may help you during this initial and so painful time in your journey to find life without Bubba. Not the kind of medication that will turn you into a zombie, but something that will ease the emotional pain to a more bearable level.

Time is NOT your friend right now because it seems to move so slowly during the grieving process. It WILL be your friend in the long run, but it is much too soon to rely upon time alone.

Being so limited by your disability only exacerbates your emotional pain. You have a much more difficult struggle than someone that is able to immerse themselves into some physical activity.

Please know that we are hurting with and for you as you try to build your new life without the man you loved and with whom you shared your entire adult life.

I feel sure that you even miss the little arguments that couples have over insignificant matters that seemed important at the time. How you long to be able to have one of those now if that meant you had him with you. It is not just the good times you miss, but also the times that were not the finest moments.

As time passes, you will find that you can't even remember anything that was not great about Bubba. You will ONLY remember all the goodness. When that happens, you will be moving further along in the grieving process. You will ALWAYS miss him, it will just get easier to bear. All the little triggers will have less of an impact on you but that is a long way off right now.

Please know how much we care about you and how much we wish we could alleviate this pain. We appreciate your sharing your heart and your thoughts with us. Please continue to keep us posted on your feelings and your struggles to adjust to this horrendous loss in your life.

When you get too sad for words, try to think about Bubba looking down at you and saying, "I miss you, too, my dear Debi, but I don't want you to be sad." Think of some of the things he would say to you if he were sitting next to you. Listen for his words. They will drown out the hurt in your heart. He may even make you smile or laugh. He might say something to you that may cheer you as you know what he would say.

He IS still with you. You just have to listen for HIS words. Right now, your breaking heart is drowning out his voice. Don't concentrate on what HE is missing by having his life cut short,... think about what he would be saying to you.

Hope you get some pain relief as that will help with the emotions. Pain AND grief are a double whammy, so be kind to yourself.
Hopeless is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-14-2015), EnglishDave (11-14-2015), Kitty (11-14-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-18-2015), St George 2013 (11-14-2015), Susanne C. (11-14-2015)
Old 11-14-2015, 12:55 AM #119
DejaVu's Avatar
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
10 yr Member
DejaVu DejaVu is offline
Senior Member
DejaVu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,521
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
10 yr Member
Heart ((((( Debi )))))

Hi Debi,

Hope, bless her heart, has just written quite a post, yet again.
This one leaves me speechless. What an amazing post written by Hope.

I am not often speechless, by the way.

I have been thinking of you, wondering what I would read upon my return.

I am sorry you are feeling so down. I do feel it's a part of the grieving process and "normal."

I do think counseling/therapy or a support group could be helpful to you. I so wish my mother had gone this route. I honestly feel it would have helped her so much. I feel you know yourself very well and will be able to discern what will and won't be helpful to you.

I know the process you are going through will be a long one, not an impossible one, yet a challenging one.

Please know we all love you, hold you dear to us, and support you.

Offering Love, Light (to ward off the darkness) and Support,

DejaVu
__________________
May we have the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to light our paths.
.



.

.
DejaVu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
EnglishDave (11-14-2015), Hopeless (11-14-2015), Kitty (11-19-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-18-2015), St George 2013 (11-14-2015)
Old 11-14-2015, 10:53 AM #120
EnglishDave's Avatar
EnglishDave EnglishDave is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 2,098
5 yr Member
EnglishDave EnglishDave is offline
Magnate
EnglishDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 2,098
My Mood: My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb
5 yr Member
Cool Smirk

Dear Debi,

Hope and DejaVu have said it all so well. I just want to remind you that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

Do watch this Depression, I know you are fighting it now but it can easily overwhelm. Physical pain feeds it, you have a very valid, recent emotional loss to contend with as well. Do speak to a Therapist and/or at least discuss ADs.

Be kind to yourself, lean on your family, Post to us.

Dave.
__________________
You and I are yesterday's answers,
The earth of the past come to flesh,
Eroded by Time's rivers
To the shapes we now possess.

The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer.
EnglishDave is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-14-2015), Kitty (11-19-2015), Littlepaw (11-14-2015), PamelaJune (11-18-2015), St George 2013 (11-14-2015), Susanne C. (11-14-2015)
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
numb toes, numb leg, rsd sucks lyndabw1 Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) 5 05-02-2012 01:13 PM
my uncle passed away waves Bipolar Disorder 60 05-16-2010 07:13 PM
My FIL passed away Dejibo The Stumble Inn 26 10-22-2009 09:53 PM
I passed..!! frogga Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) 19 07-14-2007 02:19 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:45 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO v2.0.31 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.