My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb

February · 09-02-2015, 07:47 PM

I'm sorry, so young, so fast

My sincere condolences to you and your family

Peace be with you

DejaVu · 09-02-2015, 09:34 PM

Hi Debi,

I'd also like to thank you for sharing so openly.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I cannot imagine losing my DH, he is also my very best friend.

Your highest self, your inner wisdom, will direct you in ways you will find most healing. Simply listen to your inner direction.

May you and your family feel surrounded by Love.

DejaVu

KnowNothingJon · 09-02-2015, 09:48 PM

Debi,

My heart to yours.

Jon

ger715 · 09-02-2015, 10:53 PM

I read your post of your husband's passing only a short while ago.
Thank you for sharing.

I just finished sending a PM to you.

You are such a "dear Lady". I feel as tho I personally have known you and your family during the past couple of years thru post and PM's.

Love & Prayers are with all of you.

Gerry

St George 2013 · 09-03-2015, 12:58 AM

Thank you all for your kindness and prayers. I'm going to need all of you in the coming months.

Wed morning we started picking up around the house. Didn't have to since the ambulance came because we did everything at Christina's. My dad had previously knocked down the wall between the living room and dining room so it is one HUGE room......more than enough space to accommodate this extra large family and friends.

I walked around with a garbage crying and picking up. Christina and Jonathan were here with me and so sweet.

The pain in my hands and feet wake me when I sleep.

We still live in such a small town......our PCP and prior nurse pract came to see all of us at the funeral home. Such awesome people and so caring.

My son is in law enforcement and knows a lot of lawyers...some for good reasons and some for bad

One has told him when I get ready to probate the Will to bring it to him and he'll do it and explain everything to us.

All the stuff that needs to be done is just crazy overwhelming. Not sure how I'm going to do going around to all those places with Luke. We will probably have to break it up into multiple days or I won't be able to walk and I absolutely hate to use the wheelchair.

I know I'm just rambling out thoughts but that's what I need to do right now and I know you will all understand that.

I just sit in the dining room and stare at the wall in front of me. Thank goodness the kids are in and out all day long.

My son signed his divorce papers today. So heartbreaking for him to lose his dad and wife at the same time.

We are all going to Florida sometime soon with Bubba's ashes. Christina says he gets to ride 'shotgun'.......we've had some light moments filled with laughter. Bubba was a funny man and loved to make people laugh.

It's so quiet......he was always calling my name when I left the room. I know it was because he didn't want to be alone. I think somehow he knew this was coming and that was why he was able to tell me so many things he wished he'd told me all through our years together.

Please hug your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or whatever and tell them you love them. Even if life is hard and you're not always happy with each other. Just do it here and there for me.

Debi

Saffy · 10-15-2018, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by St George 2013

My husband passed away after less than 48 hours in Hospice.

Monday a week ago I called 911 when his lips started turning blue as I was trying to coax him into eating some oatmeal. His blood oxygen meter was reading 51 and then bouncing around from the 60's to the 80's. They transported him to the ER and he was placed in ICU. His Co2 level was close to 150 and should be around 35 to 45. He was in ICU the nights of Mon, Tues, Wed and Thurs and during this time they tried the bi-pap to bring in Co2 level down....it got to 57 on Fri morning.

He had experienced Hospital Delirium after surgery in May and this had continued somewhat since then and resurged big time in ICU. He knew who we all were but was constantly pulling the mask off his face and trying to pull his IV out, take the heart monitor pads off his chest and remove his blood pressure cuff. When I would ask why he was trying to remove things that were monitoring him he would say "I don't know".....how sad.

During the week we had been talking about long term acute care and then rehab when he was stable. That was still my mindset last Friday when my daughter sent me a message that the dr wanted to meet with us at 2 pm.
Such a great guy, Dr Patel. I actually send my husband to this specific ER because my niece Poppy works for this pulmonary dr that she just adores.

Sitting in a chair outside my husband's ICU room, Dr Patel began to tell us that he had reviewed my husband's charts for the week and even though they had tried everything they could to get him stable nothing was really working and he was in a constant state of panic. Even the meds wouldn't completely knock him out. He only slept in bursts and someone was with him at all times.
The dr said it was time for comfort care and he suggested Hospice. We have a wonderful facility about 15 minutes from me (my dad was there in 2000) and thank the Good Lord they had an open bed.

He was transported last Friday night and arrived about 9:30 pm in a panic. The nurses got him calmed down and we sat with him and talked. I even got him to eat 3 bites of a baked potato with lots of butter and sour cream. He hasn't eaten good since the May surgery.

Everybody finally left and we dozed for awhile. My nephew had just got back into town and came around midnight with his son who is 20. He was able to talk with him and tell him how much he loved him. After they left the nurse gave him something for pain and we slept all night. I would wake up and look over at him to make sure he was still asleep.

Taking all the machines off of him lowered his severely high blood pressure and heart rate and he was calmly sleeping. He slept for 15 hours straight. His body was so tired.

Sat afternoon about 5 pm he woke up in a frightened state. We all tried to calm him down but not before he spoke out to his mom and dad which was not a good sign. He said "NO Daddy" and now I truly believe that his dad came for him but he wasn't ready. He never really came to himself then but I did get him to tell me he loved me. They gave him something for pain and he went back to sleep. He never woke up again.

We have 2 children, Luke who turned 35 last Wednesday and Christina, 30. Also 2 biological grandsons, Evan who will be 15 on Sept 12th and Lane who is 10. Also 2 stepgrandchildren, Gavin who is 12 and Charley Ann who is 9.

Evan and Lane stayed both days....all day long and both of their mothers, my ex daughter in laws stayed too. What awesome women they are !

We all had our time with my husband. Me, Luke and Christina especially had our moments alone with him to say what needed to be said. Sometime before 5 pm when it was just me and Luke in the room and the nurse had told me hours before that my husband would not be going home from Hospice, Luke asked for time alone with his dad. So I walked out front and sat in my car.
He called once and told me I could come back in....then he called me a 2nd time hysterical telling me to COME BACK IN NOW.......so I ran as much as I could and when I walked in the room Luke and the nurse, LaVada were beside him and she said "He's gone".......I was hysterical that I wasn't there with him but have since realized it was Luke that needed to be with him to allow my husband to let go. Something we all feel he would not have done had I been in the room.

All the people that he loved most were there. Me, Luke, Christina, Evan, Lane, Gavin, the 2 ex daughter in laws, Christy and Anissa. We all stayed in the room with him for at least and hour and a half....may have been more. We hugged him, kissed him and just loved on him and cried and cried and cried.

I didn't cry much at his service last night. I'm pretty numb. His service was at 6 pm last night and I laid down at 2 to rest with my alarm set at 4 pm. I woke up about 5:05 and freaked out......didn't have time to take a shower or even wash my hair in the kitchen sink.....and I actually didn't even care. I threw on some clothes and off I went. Drove myself the 1/2 mile to the funeral home.....we live in a very small town.

So sorry this is so long and if you read the whole thing God Bless You. I just had to get it out and say what I've been thinking and I knew this was the best place to do it. That y'all would understand and pray for me and my family.

My husbands name is James Edward Thompson.......Bubba to his grandchildren, Duck at work. We've been married for 35 years. Since I was 17. I left my parents house and then on to be with my husband. Never lived alone before and I'm not really alone. My mom built an addition onto our house and she lives just through the laundry room. She's 84. There is only one house between our house and my daughters (she lives in my mom's old house) and my son only lives about 1/2 mile away.

I'll be back.....I have so much more to get out there....just to put in writing somewhere.

Hope.......I love you sweet lady.

Debi from Georgia

every birth, every death, has a telling ... xxx

nirupa · 10-15-2018, 11:04 PM

hi Debbi,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. you and your family are in my prayers.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
numb toes, numb leg, rsd sucks	lyndabw1	Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS)	5	05-02-2012 01:13 PM
my uncle passed away	waves	Bipolar Disorder	60	05-16-2010 07:13 PM
My FIL passed away	Dejibo	The Stumble Inn	26	10-22-2009 09:53 PM
I passed..!!	frogga	Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS)	19	07-14-2007 02:19 AM

Site Navigation

NeuroTalk Online Support Groups

My Husband, 58, passed away Sun, 8-30.....I'm just numb

NeuroTalk Forums