Debi wrote:

My dear friend,

That is an understatement if I ever heard one. You have had more thrown at you lately than many people experience in a lifetime.

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's broken ribs.

Few people know just how awful things have been for you because you are always so cheerful and uplifting. A wonderful trait of yours that shines through even in your darkest times.

How much better the world would be with lots of Debi's like you.

You are one of a kind dear lady and very special. The love pouring out to you in this tread is proof of how you touch the hearts of so many.

Let us be here for you for support and caring. Keep writing and find comfort from all the people that love you.

ger 715 wrote:

This is so true. You honor us with your posts. Thank you and thanks to ger 715 for stating that so well.

Absolutely!! "Frozen in time" is an excellent analogy. It helped me to know that I wasn't alone with the feelings that felt so strange to me then. I only hope Debi feels our presence and love right now. Nobody can really relate to something like this unless they've been there. Seems like there are a lot of folks here that have walked that walk. It's not a walk you want to take alone.

Debi, I hope you're having an easier day today.

As you mentioned; this may help Debi know she is not alone should those feelings arise.
I remember all too well those feelings.




Gerry

I didn't start out thinking it was going to be any different from past days but it has turned out to be a good day. Luke has been here most of the day hanging out. I called and talked to the people at our bank but didn't go to SS Office. Christina just wasn't up to it.

John called from the funeral home and he had received Bubba's ashes and his death certificates. Luke and I met Christina and Jonathan over there to pick them up. I didn't cry at all. It was actually comforting to see that beautiful silver urn with his name engraved on it. Is that weird ?

I washed both dogs today, Angus and Charlie and then scrubbed the bathtub out.....it has not been scrubbed in months....how awful that I'm revealing that to all of you....lol

Luke took me thru the drive thru at the bank and the drug store and then we picked up a few necessary items at the local dollar store. Went by and picked up Lane from after school program and are now here at home.

I have been in this house for months and months and it was so good to get out in the daylight. Even though I'm tired I really want to take Evan and Lane out to dinner with Christina. Luke won't go as he still looks for time to be by himself.

Today is the time for my new patch and I'm feeling it. Took my oxycodone at 2but my left leg and foot are just killing me. Wasn't sure I'd make it through the dollar store but I did.

Thanks for everything my friends. I'm so glad I have this place to come to and yes I do feel your love and prayers for me and my family like a familiar friend. Means the world to me that y'all care so much. I hope to be much more active on this board than I have been in the past. Having to take care of Bubba really has showed me that I can push myself farther than I thought I could. And that's a good feeling for me.

If anyone can think of anything I see to be missing in all of this or have concerns about something I write please ask. I'm a wide open person who has no secrets from anyone....one of the things Bubba didn't like about me....lol

Debi from Georgia

Debi,

I am honoured to be a small part of your Support Structure as you Journal the day's events and what you are having to deal with.

All of us here reading your words, I'm sure, are warmed by the knowledge that you are dealing with the mundane and the additional family issues with fortitude.

You, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Dave.

The first few weeks are so busy with so much to do. People always seem to be nearby. Things that hadn't gotten done; now are doing all these things. It's like so much hasn't really settled in. I would imagine you are surprised how well you are really handling all of this. You are quite a lady to be admired.

I couldn't help getting a smile on my face when you mentioned being so open with "no secrets" was one of the things Bubba didn't like. You pretty much described myself....an "open book" with often too much information; but that's who I am and I believe we share the "no secrets" as well.

Debi, you give those of us at NT quite a feeling of togetherness. It's hard to explain; but it is so meaningful. You are very "special".


Gerry

No Debi....it is not weird at all. I understand completely how it would be comforting.

Am going to bed and putting you in my prayers, and your Mother as well.
(Poor dear, broken ribs...what is it about that generation...you said her pain tolerance is incredible...I found that to be true of both my parents).

Its funny, I feel the need to check in every night to see how you are doing so
I am so glad you are writing to all of us everyday and updating us on how your day has been.

You have been remarkably strong and I am amazed at all you are accomplishing.
Please be careful not to push too much.
Again, thanks for sharing.
Fondly,
D.

Debi, I was deeply moved by what you shared.

I think that grieving follows its own path and takes its own time.

Whatever feels right for you is the only thing that matters.

With care and concern .

This is the 2nd time I've been up tonight. The first was about 1:30 and I was in AGONY. I can't remember the last time my pain was that bad. I actually called Christina and she and Jonathan walked up here (dragging poor Lane with them who had been asleep). Not sure why I called her other than I didn't want to be alone with my pain and the tears that Bubba wasn't here to comfort me and offer to get up and get my meds and a cold ice pack.

I took a pain pill and a 1/4 of another (something I've started doing when the pain level is high) and then sat at my dining room table and basically rocked back and forth until the pain slowed a bit. I was still moaning when I laid back down and asked God and Bubba to please let me sleep and get away from the pain. Thankfully I feel asleep quickly with sweet Lane asleep by my side.

Remember I washed the dogs and cleaned the tub ?

Break-----my mom woke up and came walking in here wanting to know if we'd eaten breakfast yet....lol....God Bless her I don't even eat breakfast. Finally got her back to bed. Thinking her pain probably woke her but she didn't complain about it.

Ok...the dogs and tub.......the reason the tub had not been cleaned is because it always sets off my hands and feet and then I hurt.....bad.....which is what happened. So going forward I will go back to washing the dogs in the kitchen sink and asking someone to do the tub. Shoot Luke and Jonathan are both strong young men, 35 and 32, and should be quite easy for them to do in less than 5 minutes.

I'm good now. Pain is about a 4 which I can deal with.

I did go to dinner with Christina, Evan and Lane. We went to Red Lobster and I ate WAY too much......before we left the restaurant I started feeling guilty for even going......that feeling just grew until I was in tears.......both Luke and Christina said I 'couldn't go there' and that Bubba would want me to go out when I could. I know that but it still didn't make me feel any better. Bubba was not big on going out to dinner. Of course if you asked him to go to the Golden Corral he was the first person in the car ! But normally we would stop by Long John Silver's on the way home and get him a plate. I would come in and he'd be laying across the bed on his stomach. His favorite position for years due to lower back pain. I would get him something to drink, ketchup and a fork and napkin and take to him on the bed. I never could understand how that man would eat laying on his stomach He didn't ask me to do that for him I just did because I wanted to.

Think I'll read a few new posts and try to go back to sleep. I probably need to set the clock and get up and take another pain pill later this morning so I don't end up in the same shape I was earlier.

So goodnight friends......for what's left of it anyway.

Debi from Georgia