The memory garden sounds soooooo wonderful.

A living tribute.

Can't wait for you to post the photo when completed.

Sure hope you can get some good quality rest and sleep tonight.

Hi Debi,

The joint effort between you and your neighbors, in planting the memory garden is... incredibly beautiful! I was trying to picture the gardening team in my mind as I was reading your post. You are so fortunate to have such outwardly loving neighbors!

I am sorry to realize I have not known you here on NeuroTalk, as it's abundantly clear you are so very loved and deeply respected by so many members here.

I don't want to be intrusive.
I do, however, consider it an honor to offer support, Love and Prayers to you and to your family.



DejaVu

I think Debi will be very glad to see your postings and would NOT think them intrusive in the least bit. She needs all the love and support she can receive from the community. You don't have to be "up to date" on Debi to offer your support. I thank you for your posts, too.

Hi Debi,

I noticed your response to dancinglady's Thread, and must say I find your compassion limitless that you could still reach out in such a fashion at this time.

May these forthcoming difficult days run smoothly for you and your family.

Dave.

Looking forward to seeing the pictures of Bubba's Memory Garden. Your neighbors appear to be thrilled to be able to do this "labor of love". I can picture you with them in the store exchanging ideas. Your input is so important to them.

Thanks again for sharing.


Gerry

The garden is finished and oh my gosh it's absolutely beautiful. People are slowing down at they drive by to see such a beautiful site. They did an awesome job and even my son, who was hesitant about it, says it is truly an honor to his dad.

DejaVu........I would never consider you intrusive. As I've said before I'm pretty much an open book. I've always been a happy go lucky type and like to make people smile. I've just not been my normal self this past week and not sure when I'll feel normal again or if I ever will. I was pretty active on here at one time but things changed in my life and I hardly posted but kept reading posts when I could to catch up.

But I'm back and hope to be conversing with all of you on different subjects.

I actually slept all night last night. Woke up once, saw my sweet Lane in bed beside me and went back to bed. Woke up about 10:30 and let Luke in. Took my meds and still felt horrible so I went back to be for a couple hours. When I got up I felt better.

Everything reminds me of Bubba.....I washed the sheets today but could not wash the pillow cases.......I feel like I would be washing him away and it made me so sad. I just sat and hugged his pillows trying to smell him again. I still feel him around me....around this house. I think of him in every room I walk into.

I have a PM appointment tomorrow. Luke says that is the only thing he wants me to do tomorrow. He has taken this week off too so he wants to spread things out which I already figured I would have to do. I know everywhere I go is going to be hard since it will all be connected to his passing.

Thanks for being here my friends. I read all your responses and it makes me feel good that I am cared for on here and they you are praying and thinking of me and my family.

Debi from Georgia

Hi Debi,
I am so glad you were able to get some sleep last night. It is 11:30PM and as I check on you before I go to sleep, I am so glad you have kept us updated.

The garden sounds so beautiful. What a lovely reminder of how much Bubba was loved by so many people. When my father passed a few years back, I was amazed at the outpouring of affection and all the lives he touched, that I had not known about, and I have feeling Bubba touched many lives in the same way.

I certainly understand not wanting to wash pillowcases. It may be too soon to do this but there is a lovely way to remember a loved one by saving alot of their favorite clothes like flannel shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, ties, tshirts, work clothes, jackets, jeans, a favorite blanket, etc and have them cut into small pieces and made into a a quilt (and maybe have them made for your kids as well).
I had a friend who had that done and she did not wash the clothes because she wanted the smell of her husbands cologne and the woman who made the quilt for her said she completely understood. If someone in your circle of family,friends or neighbors can sew, I am sure they would feel honored to do that for you all. Or some organizations like church groups, etc have quilting groups and they may do it for you as well.

Hope you sleep well again tonight Debi...Lord knows you need some solid rest.
In my heart, prayers and thoughts,
God Bless you and your entire family.
Love, D.

P.S. How is your mother doing?

P.P.S.
I looked up those Memory quilts. many folks on etsy.com make them. A VERY wide array of prices.

Debi, after my husband's passing I would go and stand in our closet and bury my face in his shirts because I could still smell his scent on them. Sometimes I'd take his cologne and spray it in there just to be able to get the feeling that he was close by. So many things I did that I thought were "odd" but now realize that it was just my way of coping. There are no wrong ways to cope.

One thing that surprised me......and nobody mentioned it to me.....were the "grief bursts". I'd be having a relatively good day and something would trigger my memory or otherwise remind me of something that had to do with my husband and that was all it took. Wherever I was I'd have a mini-meltdown. I'll never forget once in the line at the post office the man in front of me had a package with a return address on it and it had the same first name as my hubby. Something as simple as that. I had to leave. I was fine after a couple of minutes but random things will trigger you for a while. And it's usually things that only mean something to you personally.

I'm looking forward to your pictures of the garden, too. What a sweet gesture for your neighbors to do. Sounds like you have lots of good friends.

I have mentioned in the past, your relationship with Luke reminds me so much of my son's. So good and understanding of him to take this week off giving you the time to space all that has to be done. His being with you will be so comforting.

Really looking forward to seeing pictures of the Memory Garden. Such a thoughtful and beautiful gesture.

Even now when I hear music from the Phantom of the Opera brings back so many memories. (All good.) Early on, was in the store one day shopping and the background music of the Phantom was played throughout the store; the tears flowed. We had gone to see the play with my daughter and her husband on a Thursday, he passed that Sunday.

Debi, eventually these memories become a beautiful treasure. I'm sure you will have many.


Gerry

Hi Debi,

Thank you for your kind words.

The garden sounds wonderful!

Continued Love and Prayers,

DejaVu