Hi Debi,

Well, you're getting into the "nuts and bolts" of it all with having to go to the Probate court and all that. Makes it seem so impersonal......until you get there and see your name and his name on some document and just want to yell at someone that it's all a bad dream and for someone to stop all the nonsense. At least that's how I felt. Not knowing what to expect I went in with blinders on and left a big, blubbering mess. How they expect you to make decisions during times like this I'll never understand. That's why it's SO important to take someone who can remain calm with you or better yet your attorney.

The Medicare stuff is another story. I swear I think they hire people just to make things more confusing to those of us under a time constraint. I finally got a plan that is somewhat user friendly (Humana) but with all the specialist doctors I have it's a constant battle with referrals. We used to have Blue Cross Blue Shield when hubby was alive and I never appreciated it until it was gone. I had hoped I would get health insurance coverage as part of his death benefits but they would not retire him. He was 18 months away from being able to retire and they wouldn't do it. Looking back they dodged a huge bullet with me because I didn't have an MS diagnosis back then.

Things will get easier. It just takes time and time isn't our friend during the first couple of years. Enjoy this beautiful weather we're having. I know I am and dread when they mention rain in the forecast. I saw it was colder where you are this morning than where I am! I wish it could stay Fall 12 months a year.

Well that's unusual isn't it ? For our place to be colder than yours. I'm hoping for a hot streak up around Blairsville during Thanksgiving

Well I made it through the probate thing. And I was so glad to have my lawyer there, my son Luke and my son-in-law Jonathan. WOW I had a crowd didn't I. And I'm so glad no one else was in there doing business or I would have been embarrassed. I was ok until she said it was time for me to take the oath. Then I lost it. The clerk of count was very nice and kept saying she was so sorry for my loss. My son works with the lawyer thru the DA's office so it was helpful to me when they started talking 'business'.

The stuff that throws me is the banking. I'm getting checks from the insurance for overpayments and looks like they are going through the whole year. I've already rec'd more than a dozen checks ($5.90, $10.35 etc) with more coming and all in Bubba's name. They won't let me just cash them with the paperwork from the courts. I had to set up a NEW account just for these checks. An estate account. Geez it's just crazy. They will keep it open for about a year or when I think I won't be getting anymore checks in his name only and then we'll close it down. Just one more item to take care of. I already had 2 checking accts. One for my SSDI check and one joint acct. So now I have a total of 3 checking accts. How confusing ! Not that there is a lot in any of the accounts ! Just more paperwork.

We made 5 stops today. Jonathan is off on Monday's so that is when we try to get things done as needed. I was blessed with this sweet man as a son-in-law. He actually likes to be with his mother-in-law ! He's just driving Miss Debi around

Take care and thanks to all who keep me in their thoughts and prayers. I really do appreciate it.

Going to lay down for awhile. I'm pooped !

Debi from Georgia

Hi Debi,

I'm catching up on posts and am glad to see an update from you even it is poopy administrative, hair-pulling type stuff! Paperwork, banking, probate. Oh joy! I am glad you have a Medicare plan picked out. That can be so overwhelming.

It is always nice to read about your supportive family and I am so happy for you that there is still so much love in your life. I know it doesn't make up for not having your honey, but how much more tragic if you didn't have them.

I have been thinking of you and sending love. And I will say prayers for a healing and pain relieving procedure. I know we will all have you in our hearts on the 30th. It's terrible to be dealing with physical and emotional pain at the same time! I hope you get relief.

Thanks for the sweet birthday note. I enjoyed sharing a happy normal day. I think I forgot to mention the nap I took, during which I was apparently snoring rather freely. Hey we gotta rest when we can right?

Watch out, there's a bunch of hugs coming your way!

Dang....has it almost been 2 months since I lost him ?

I had to take my mom to the dr yesterday and as we sat in the room waiting for the dr I was looking around and bam.....it hit....just like y'all said it would. It brought back ICU front and center.

I also didn't realize that the shots for my back on Oct 30th is the 2 month mark too. If he was here he would have been taking me. And being sweet and looking after me when we got home.

And I know I am extremely Blessed to have my family surrounding me. I read posts all the time of families in peril and it makes my heart hurt.

Me and Luke had a falling out last year in June....I didn't see or speak to him on the phone for 3 months. I actually think it was Aug 30th when I went over to his house. Weird right ? But I had gone through chemo and was facing this ugly SFN monster so I was stronger than ever mentally and stood my ground. He had to come back on his own. Prior to chemo and SFN I would have crawled up in my recliner and cried everyday....not anymore. I did sent him a text about once a week during that time and just said I Love You and he would come back immediately and say the same thing. Bubba would go over and visit with him as he was not as mad at his dad as he was with me and Christina. By Thanksgiving we were all back together. It was his decision to come back into the family.

My mom's dementia is getting worse. She's making some type of humming sound now as she walks around or when we're eating. I've look it up and it goes along with dementia. She knows she's doing it but doesn't know why. She is the first person I've met that acknowledges she has a mental issue and it really bothers her. My mother-in-law and father-in-law never mentioned it. She's in awesome shape physically for 84 and the nurse is visiting her every week.

Taylor, her RN, said they've talked about my mom's addition onto our house and how much they love it and wish other seniors had the same thing. She said I would be shocked at how some of these seniors live and what they live in. That is so sad to me.

I miss my Bubba so much and still walk around the house talking to him and at him for he resides on top of the entertainment center. No way I can bury him now. He's going with me when I go and that gives me comfort. I am going to put a headstone up in our family plot for I know his extended family needs a place to go for comfort. Most of them will not know he's not 'there' and that's fine.

I would like to remind everyone that our marriage wasn't perfect. We had some very good times and some very bad times. But in hind sight I sure wish I had let more little things slide. Wish I had hugged him more, wish I had told him I loved him more. Please everyone take my advise and let your partner know how you truly feel. I didn't know Bubba's true feelings for me until 3 months before his death. How sad is that ? Very

Thanks to all who read this and send me messages and posts of comfort. I could not have gotten through these past 2 months without y'all.

Big hugs to everyone !

Debi from Georgia

Debi

You are not alone when you talk about an "unperfect" marriage. I really don't think there are many of them out there. I sure didn't have one. And you're right.......looking back many of the "small stuff" things could have been avoided but they weren't. It's true hindsight is 20/20.

My Mom had dementia and then Alzheimer's. Dementia is hard to deal with and patience is absolutely a must! I hope she is a "happy" patient. Some folks get downright mean and that's doubly hard to deal with especially when you aren't used to them having that type of personality.

I really am glad you have a lot of family around you most of the time. I used to want to be around people all the time during the first year or so after he passed. I needed the distraction. Now.......I love my solitude and quiet. I'm sure a lot of that is the MS, too.

I was just looking at the calendar and it's almost time to change our clocks again. Fall back 1 hour. It doesn't bother me but I know some folks just hate it. The only reason I hate it is the huge heavy clock on the wall that I have to remember to ask my son to change for me. Last year I kept forgetting and finally it was almost time to change it back so we just left it! Might do that again this year.

Well, the oven timer just went off so I better go rescue whatever I'm cooking.