Debi

Days like today are hard. I know how you feel. I tried so hard not to think about "anniversaries" and "first times" without him there. It's hard not to do but you will notice it gets easier to deal with as time moves on.

Your kids sound wonderful. It's so nice to have family to lean on when you need support.

It was a real learning experience for me to realize just how much I depended on him for little stuff. Things you don't even think about or notice.....until you have to start doing them by yourself. Now.....I'm Miss Independent and rarely ask for help. Even though I need to at times I just don't want to be a bother to anyone.

I hope the shots give you some relief and you're up and around soon. You don't realize how much you do until you're told not to and have to ask someone else for help.

I think the 'firsts' like the shots today are going to be the hardest. Hopefully as I get through those I can move on to a more comfortable place in my heart and head.

The family just left and Luke sent me a text basically saying he knows he's not the most pleasant person at times but he wanted me to know how much he loves me. That is just priceless to me.

You probably already know this since your son was/or is in police work, that he meets some really bad people. It's hard for him to sometimes 'turn' that Narcotics Officer light off in his head at the end of the day.

And you are so right on not really understanding how many little things he did do for me/us.

I'm having a little teary spell so I'll close for now.

Take care everyone.

Debi

Debi. what are these shots in your back? I deal with OA started in lower back about 60 yrs ago...so I know back issues and stiffness and pain. Sounds like you have nice family support.

Take it easy on yourself for a few days, Debi. Emotionally as well as physically.

Yes, my oldest son was in police work for 13 years. He just recently decided he needed a change but is still in the "law enforcement" arena. Do they ever really leave?? I have never been so happy that a child of mine has left a job!

Luke sounds like a wonderful son. I know just what you mean about turning off the "policeman" once they get home. It just becomes part of their personality. I can tell a definite difference in Matt since he has been in law enforcement. Some good.....some not so good but nothing bad. Just a maturity that I never thought he'd have to know.

I hope you feel better, Debi. Looks like we are in for a rainy Sunday so I know I'll be stiff, sore and off balance. Wheee!!! At least we're pros now so we can prepare for it!

Background on family: I was raised an Air Force brat. I was born in California, we then went on to Alaska. By that time I was around 10 and had never been to Ga to meet my family. I think my Mama Jewel visited us once while in California. I had no 'concept of family', especially a Southern one !

I was immediately surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. And I loved it. Even though we continued to travel we were always close and came home for the Holidays. (Stationed in South Carolina and Florida twice before he retired)

From the time I met my extended family all I ever wanted was a strong, loving, supportive family of my own. We've had our up and downs as a family but always come back to each other. Because of my son I've crawled up in our recliner and cried my eyes out for weeks on end at times. He's a manly man but also a mama's boy. He's 35 now and those bad years are gone I hope

Shots in back: The info says LI Transforaminal and he gave me 3 of them. We'll see how it goes. He said it would not help with the SFN but I'm hoping somehow it will.

Take care caroline

Debi

Thanks and I looked it up, so it's strong steroid. I had 2 scripts for epidurals about 3 yrs ago and just could not do them. I've had a steroid in one shoulder and it gave me some relief for a while and a steroid in my knee once and it did nothing. For the most part I avoid steroids. As I heard long ago, they are the best and worst drug.

I'm closer to prolozone (ozone/oxygen) injections which I've read can restore our joints. I need to cough up my own money as health insurance does not cover. In my long life, insurance covers protocols that harm. I'm dealing with a mess from hip replacement, medicare paid 80% and I'm working trying to manage what I'm left with. So this is where I come from.

On our travels, I left my eastern roots 50 yrs ago and left all family back there. My daughter and grandkids are here but my daughter has a full plate raising her children as their father died a couple yrs ago at 55..and she has some health challenges so I don't count on anyone. Can't. A gf offers to take me places that I don't want to drive to but I haven't taken her up on that as I stay close to home for my remedies such as they are.

We all manage as we can. Thanks Debi and good luck with those injections.

Hi Debi,

You have been on my mind.

I am just catching up on your thread.

You have such an amazing heart, Debi.
Your heart is just huge!

The anniversary times are difficult, for sure.
I understand, too, about memories popping up in a medical setting.
One of my brothers was in surgical ICU for two months before passing on.
I was there with him so much, I became sensitized to the noises in the ICU.
Their phone system had a very unusual ring to it.

The first time I was back in the hospital building, long after my brother had passed, I heard that ring... and, I had immediately started sobbing. The ring pattern of the phone system had tapped into a deep well of sadness.

I, too, am so glad you are surrounded by family.
I see so many people in my neighborhood, people with many adult children in the area, sitting all alone on holidays, etc. I check on them and invite them to come over and/or make extra when making meals and take it over to them.
I love to do this and have not been able to do it as much as I'd like lately.

Yes, I agree, make sure your loved ones know you love them.
I also often say: If we love someone, we must make sure they feel our love.
It's too easy to say we love without demonstrating our love to one another.

I hope you are warm, comfortable, happy and surrounded by Love tonight.

Much Love to you, Debi.


DejaVu

Nothing amazing about me dear friend. Just a silly 53 year old woman

I was having a horrible day....been crying on and off for 3 days. Not sure if what they knocked me out with on Friday morning is part of the problem or the 2 month mark.

I just keep getting choked up for no reason and then the tears just fall. I'm just so sad in my heart. See...there I go again.

Finally about an hour ago I made myself get up......turn on all the lights in the house (it's rainy and dreary here) made deviled eggs and about to take a coconut pie out of the oven. I'm usually not up to being in the kitchen at all but I did ok.

I will be surrounded by love tonight....going to Christina's for dinner and going to surprise them all with my 2 dishes.....they will be Shocked for sure !

Much love back to you too DejaVu !

And my Hope if you're reading this !

Debi