Debi. what are these shots in your back? I deal with OA started in lower back about 60 yrs ago...so I know back issues and stiffness and pain. Sounds like you have nice family support.

Take it easy on yourself for a few days, Debi. Emotionally as well as physically.

Yes, my oldest son was in police work for 13 years. He just recently decided he needed a change but is still in the "law enforcement" arena. Do they ever really leave?? I have never been so happy that a child of mine has left a job!

Luke sounds like a wonderful son. I know just what you mean about turning off the "policeman" once they get home. It just becomes part of their personality. I can tell a definite difference in Matt since he has been in law enforcement. Some good.....some not so good but nothing bad. Just a maturity that I never thought he'd have to know.

I hope you feel better, Debi. Looks like we are in for a rainy Sunday so I know I'll be stiff, sore and off balance. Wheee!!! At least we're pros now so we can prepare for it!

Background on family: I was raised an Air Force brat. I was born in California, we then went on to Alaska. By that time I was around 10 and had never been to Ga to meet my family. I think my Mama Jewel visited us once while in California. I had no 'concept of family', especially a Southern one !

I was immediately surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. And I loved it. Even though we continued to travel we were always close and came home for the Holidays. (Stationed in South Carolina and Florida twice before he retired)

From the time I met my extended family all I ever wanted was a strong, loving, supportive family of my own. We've had our up and downs as a family but always come back to each other. Because of my son I've crawled up in our recliner and cried my eyes out for weeks on end at times. He's a manly man but also a mama's boy. He's 35 now and those bad years are gone I hope

Shots in back: The info says LI Transforaminal and he gave me 3 of them. We'll see how it goes. He said it would not help with the SFN but I'm hoping somehow it will.

Take care caroline

Debi

Thanks and I looked it up, so it's strong steroid. I had 2 scripts for epidurals about 3 yrs ago and just could not do them. I've had a steroid in one shoulder and it gave me some relief for a while and a steroid in my knee once and it did nothing. For the most part I avoid steroids. As I heard long ago, they are the best and worst drug.

I'm closer to prolozone (ozone/oxygen) injections which I've read can restore our joints. I need to cough up my own money as health insurance does not cover. In my long life, insurance covers protocols that harm. I'm dealing with a mess from hip replacement, medicare paid 80% and I'm working trying to manage what I'm left with. So this is where I come from.

On our travels, I left my eastern roots 50 yrs ago and left all family back there. My daughter and grandkids are here but my daughter has a full plate raising her children as their father died a couple yrs ago at 55..and she has some health challenges so I don't count on anyone. Can't. A gf offers to take me places that I don't want to drive to but I haven't taken her up on that as I stay close to home for my remedies such as they are.

We all manage as we can. Thanks Debi and good luck with those injections.

Hi Debi,

You have been on my mind.

I am just catching up on your thread.

You have such an amazing heart, Debi.
Your heart is just huge!

The anniversary times are difficult, for sure.
I understand, too, about memories popping up in a medical setting.
One of my brothers was in surgical ICU for two months before passing on.
I was there with him so much, I became sensitized to the noises in the ICU.
Their phone system had a very unusual ring to it.

The first time I was back in the hospital building, long after my brother had passed, I heard that ring... and, I had immediately started sobbing. The ring pattern of the phone system had tapped into a deep well of sadness.

I, too, am so glad you are surrounded by family.
I see so many people in my neighborhood, people with many adult children in the area, sitting all alone on holidays, etc. I check on them and invite them to come over and/or make extra when making meals and take it over to them.
I love to do this and have not been able to do it as much as I'd like lately.

Yes, I agree, make sure your loved ones know you love them.
I also often say: If we love someone, we must make sure they feel our love.
It's too easy to say we love without demonstrating our love to one another.

I hope you are warm, comfortable, happy and surrounded by Love tonight.

Much Love to you, Debi.


DejaVu

Nothing amazing about me dear friend. Just a silly 53 year old woman

I was having a horrible day....been crying on and off for 3 days. Not sure if what they knocked me out with on Friday morning is part of the problem or the 2 month mark.

I just keep getting choked up for no reason and then the tears just fall. I'm just so sad in my heart. See...there I go again.

Finally about an hour ago I made myself get up......turn on all the lights in the house (it's rainy and dreary here) made deviled eggs and about to take a coconut pie out of the oven. I'm usually not up to being in the kitchen at all but I did ok.

I will be surrounded by love tonight....going to Christina's for dinner and going to surprise them all with my 2 dishes.....they will be Shocked for sure !

Much love back to you too DejaVu !

And my Hope if you're reading this !

Debi

Oh, yum!!!

I am glad you've told me you are taking your food to Christina's, as I was ready to stop by. I can smell the coconut pie!

It's tough to have patience with grieving. It all takes time and it's all to be expected. Just feels so darned .... sad. Uggghhh!

I am glad you will be with your family tonight, Debi.



Love to All,
DejaVu

Hey Debi,

NO thanks on the coconut pie but I would love the deviled eggs. (Just don't like coconut at all.)

There seems to be no way of speeding up the grieving process but it sure would be nice if we could stop the hurt.

And DejaVu is right,...I have never met anyone that can be so giving of themselves to others while in the midst of their own grief.

Your kind and caring nature is unaltered by any thing that is going on in your own life. And that IS amazing.

I've had some really bad days the last 2 weeks. Something happened at the 2 month mark of his passing and I'm just a mess. Can't think clearly, hysterical bouts of crying, sobbing. My feelings can go from 0 to 100 and back again in a second flat.

I'll have a new Advantage Plan in Jan and I know I've got to get some professional help in dealing with this. Between the pain of SFN and this mental torture I've got to do something.

My mind is all over the place every second that I am awake. My pain is much worse and I'm pretty sure the depression isn't helping one bit with that.

I was holding my 15 year old grandsons hand last night and it hit me how much I miss holding my Bubba's hand. Or putting my hand on his knee as we were driving or sitting beside each other. I miss hugging him tight and planting a kiss on his sweet lips or forehead. I miss every second of being with him or just knowing he was here on this earth.

I know this will all get easier. I just didn't know a person could suffer this much. I never really knew what our relationship meant to me until he was gone. I mean really deep down I had no idea who much I loved this man or how much his physical being meant to me.

I just wanted to share with all of you where I'm at right now. Not a good place at all. I keep the darkness at bay but it's always right outside wanting to get in but I won't let it.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for I need them badly right now. Let the light of your caring shine on me please.

Debi