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Old 11-07-2015, 06:13 AM   #21
PamelaJune
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Default I'm sorry for your loss

Ravenclaw you have been incredibly brave sharing your loved ones passing. He would have known you were there and your presence as he crossed over would have been a comfort to him. Be kind and gentle to yourself over these next days.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:25 AM   #22
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Ravenclaw,

I have been following your Thread. You have shown great love and composure while dealing with your own issues.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can be strong, and kind to yourself.

Dave.
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Old 11-07-2015, 08:48 AM   #23
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Ravenclaw,

We are all holding you in love and sending healing thoughts. You are strong and courageous, more than you know. Nurture yourself through these days with kindness.

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Old 11-07-2015, 11:02 AM   #24
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Ravenclaw

I'm so very sorry. Please know that your "family" here is thinking of you.

Kitty
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Old 11-07-2015, 03:09 PM   #25
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((((( Ravenclaw )))))
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Old 11-07-2015, 09:18 PM   #26
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Dear Ravenclaw,

I am so sorry for you in your loss. When loved ones die, they take a piece of us with them. It feels like a wound, but the wound will heal in time. Although the wound will heal, it will leave a scar, and the scar will forever be a reminder of the love that was shared.

Your NT family will be here to support you as you grieve. Lean on us if you wish.
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Old 11-09-2015, 06:36 AM   #27
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Still not feeling as sad as I should.
Everyone is gentle around me.
I cry, but don't feel as sad as I thought i would.

I mostly feel empty. And alone.
Like it's always been the two of us. And now I am alone.
It's not even his fysical presence I miss the most, it's the feeling inside me. Like something is gone from within my body and it is my heart or my soul or I don't know.

I feel so alone. I am not alone, but it's alone on a different level. I can't even explain.

I miss the sound of him breathing. And his smell. Everthing.
But I also feel dead inside. Or not dead, but broken.
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Old 11-09-2015, 07:31 AM   #28
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Heart Dear Ravenclaw

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenclaw View Post
Still not feeling as sad as I should.
Everyone is gentle around me.
I cry, but don't feel as sad as I thought i would.

I mostly feel empty. And alone.
Like it's always been the two of us. And now I am alone.
It's not even his fysical presence I miss the most, it's the feeling inside me. Like something is gone from within my body and it is my heart or my soul or I don't know.

I feel so alone. I am not alone, but it's alone on a different level. I can't even explain.

I miss the sound of him breathing. And his smell. Everthing.
But I also feel dead inside. Or not dead, but broken.

I am so sorry for your loss and feel your words physically in my heart and soul.

I lost my husband, Bubba, after 35 years of marriage, 2 months and 10 days ago on Aug 30th.

Our lives will never be the same again. Yours or mine.

I've lost others in my life but this is different. As you say, I am not alone but am alone.

Please take care of yourself.

Debi from Georgia

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Old 11-09-2015, 01:03 PM   #29
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Hi Ravenclaw,

You will likely pass through different stages, and more than once, as time passes.

Please be gentle with yourself. I'm not sure it helps us to set expectations for our feelings and for all we experience when grieving significant losses. It all takes time, and in the meantime, the experiences and emotions vary.

I have found the depth of the grief hits me much later, sometime after the shock has worn off. I am often in much deeper grief 6 months after a loss than I am immediately after a loss, as the realities of the loss, and how the loss plays out in my everyday life has then set in and I cannot further delay facing the depth of the loss. That's just my own experience.

I know, from experience, just when I think I am done grieving, or have no more tears to shed, I am suddenly surprised by a sudden tearful episode, or I suddenly have a visual memory, or I suddenly recall a feeling, a scent, etc.

Reminders are often all around us, even in other people and our brain picks up on them even when we do not consciously pick up on them.

You love him dearly. You will continue to grieve. You will grieve in ways most helpful to you and at a pace most helpful to you. Trust your grieving process.

This all takes lots of time and lots of self-compassion.

Much Love and Prayers,


DejaVu
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Old 11-09-2015, 05:17 PM   #30
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Thank you for your replies.
I feel guilty and very weird. I'm almost to scared to write it down. But I don't feel anything when I look at his pictures. I almost feel detached.
It's not that I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. I cry because it's what I think I should do.

Is it normal to feel so numb and detached? Especially when looking at pictures? I don't understand myself.
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