Hi Littlepaw. Thanks for your encouragement. I've been swimming indoors. In New Zealand we're heading into winter. The chemicals are proving very problematic. Two years ago I went to a rehab hospital and we were taken to a 7 foot deep pool 3 times a week. it was heaven and was not treated in the way the pool where I live is. unfortunately it's too far away for me to go unless I went and stayed there. the staff used to have trouble getting me out ( : I'd love it if we had a pool like that here.

The other thing I'm determined to do is get back on a horse. The medical people don't like that but too bad. I'm in a wheelchair and can walk only a few steps but maybe they could tie me on! My hands and feet are where the most severe pain is so it will be very challenging to do it but when I think about it it makes me feel happy. I found a place that do therapy work with horses. I'll keep you posted. ( :

Hi indigo

You inspired me to go to the pool today - first PT in two months - just a short stint - like you the chemicals set my PN off but still glad I went.

i'm so sorry you are suffering so much on a daily basis. i also have a very painful chronic illness too with no cure called rsd/crps. i've had it for five years and one month now and i struggle every day to just get out of bed shower dress and eat. its not the active life i used to have prior to rsd, but i figure there is a reason this happened to me and i try to use the pain i feel every day to help educate others on this rare condition as well as try to help others who are suffering with chronic pain by just letting them know i am here if they need a shoulder to lean on. it is never too late to live your life over again. it may be different then is was before you got sick but you still can have a purpose. the mere fact that you get out of bed each day and are reaching out to others on NT shows that you still have a purpose and you still matter in this life we live. making the most of what we have and helping others one day at a time is what gives me the strength to keep trying. you can do it too. you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. i read that somewhere and it helps me keep going. i hope you feel better soon both physically and emotionally. i hope always remember that you matter in this world! soft hugs my friend.

Daniel was approached a second time in his life
While lying on the ground exhausted in his endeavors in his life
and then an appearance when he could no longer move forward
He was so weak
And was told
"You are valued"
"Peace be to you"
Danial thought how could this be possible
He could speak

He was told
"Be strong"
"Be really really"

And was replenished
In his strength

It is not easy
We must not give up ever
Especially like what my father did
This I so do know

Sometimes all one needs is
just to have some to just listen
Not say anything
But just listen

My 18 year was on the bus with her older sibling
My child
Granddaughters mother

This morning
My mechanical woes kicked in
All weather related
It's cloudy and thick with clouds
Humidity killing me
Barometer pressure
Some get it
Oh so can't wait to the pool
And dry days
She said as she came in with a hot water bottle for my back
She was thinking on the bus as her one foot began to fall asleep
Bad circulation
She said it was so painful coming back
Said if I could take one of the pains you suffer from
She wouldn't know what to pick


It is what I have to offer
Hope it helps
As it was given to me
Love
Me