Since my love died 9 months ago, I grief in a what I think is a complex way.

But one thing scares me most; I used to feel such intense love for him. When we'd be together I'd just feel the love radiating from my heart, like a palpable sensation. I felt such love, such happiness, such a feeling of wanting to protect him from everything bad. It was fuzzy nice warm and just very intense. We were soulmates.

Since he passed, I've never felt it again. I now can think back of him with a smile on my face, and miss him. But I do not feel the fuzzy feeling, I do not feel the love like I did. I miss it and it makes me so scared and awful. What does this mean, am I adapting my live without him? Don't I miss him? Didn't I love him? Why is my heart not feeling like it did when watching videos and pictures?
Will I ever feel my intense love for him once more?

It's like there is this big distance or something. Like I don't love him as much as I did and it hurts me so much...

Does someone recognize this?