I think a lot of you know now that my brother recently died, and about the emotional trauma I went through in respects to certain aspects about his death.

I wrote in another forum tonight about what a good day I'd had, and how surprising the MSers at the GTG with a phone call, had really cheered me up.

I posted a photo of Grand Koala as well at The Stumble Inn and that made me feel good..........

And then I got a call a little while ago.......a very close friend who was just 3 weeks younger than me, died yesterday.

I hurt! I hurt really bad, and I can hardly stop the tears! I'm here, talking to you "my family" cos I need your support.

Who will be death number 3 ? Will it be me?

It's just not fair! Not fair at all!

What have I done wrong ?

Oh dear Anne..........im so very sorry. Im awake now in an extreme pain
fog so Im not sure what help I can be to you right now but I wanted
you to feel my arms around you in a big cyber hug.

I wish you peace.

I'm sorry that that you're in pain too.... They're just different types of pain.

Hugs to both of us Soxmom.

Big cyber hugz.

Oh sweetie you have me crying here right along with you. I am so so sorry to hear of yet another loss for you. After losing my Dad, I just can no longer say all the words of comfort I once used to try to console people. It all seems so trite now. Words will not bring your brother,your friend back, or my Dad back.........they won't take away your pain.

I don't believe in that 3 myth, mainly because I have lived through deaths that no one else I knew passed, or more than 3. If nothing else, I hope to ease your mind about that. I am so very saddened you questioned if it would be you. I just got to know you, and your kind words have helped me so much, don't you dare go anywhere

I won't use useless words to try to console, I will instead say... Koala, I am so deeply sorry for your losses and the pain you now find yourself in.
May God keep you and hold you.
May He guide you and keep you safe.
May He hold you in the palm of His hand.
Deep peace of the smiling stars to you.

Oh Anne I am so very sorry. I don't believe in 3's either it's just that the older we get, the more friends and family we lose. I had a great Aunt who lived to be 99 and she would tell me that everyone had died and she wondered why she still continued to live...she'd say God must have something more for me to do.

We are all here for you dear lady..just keep breathing in and out.

The words "I'm sorry" never seem to be the right thing to say, but they are all I have.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I greatly admire your strength and courage during these difficult times. I can only tell you that it does get better, eventually. You never forget, but it does get better. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love and hugs to you all.

I hope today was a healing day. that for just this one moment, trouble took a break.

hang in there, Anne.



we love you.

Anne, sorry ... no cute graphics (as usual), but sending healing hugs across the ocean.

I hope as time progresses, that each day becomes a little easier for you to cope with all the hurt and losses you have suffered. No to mention all the challenges you've been through with your health.

Give little Wm's cheeks a pinch for me, K?

Forgive me if I repeat myself here, but I thought I'd update you all seing that you've been kind enough to check and see how I was managing.

This past month has been rather difficult for me, with the anniversary of my mother's death in May, the anniversary of my father's death this week, and the anniversary of the death of my first child.

Also last month my brother and a close friend passed away. I have on going issues with my only sister who seems to make it her whole life's ambition to cause me as much emotional pain as possible, and on top of all this I've had my DH's health to worry about.

I had major bowel surgery last September for cancer and I have to go see a brand new surgeon (we moved states) for a follow up colonoscopy on July 1st. I'm starting to get scared about that, and I've already put the appointment off once. I'm not sure that I want to know the verdict any more. I'm getting to the stage where I'd rather not know, because I just do not want to go through any more surgery! I think if they told me it had come back, I'd simply just back away and let Jesus take me home, or let "nature" take it's course, however your thoughs on that may be.

I lost my nose to cancer in January but I had the most fantastic surgeon, and you would never know by looking at me, unless you were told about the surgery. It's almost time for my 6 month check up for that too. Some people get all the luck, don't they?

On top of all that there's been stuff happening that I haven't bothered anyone here on the site with, but Gee Wizz......sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve all this "carp".

Thank you one and all for caring! I don't know what I'd do with out you now that we have met! You just happen to be the most wonderful, the most caring group I've ever met!