I just wanted to thank everyone for their kindness, and to tell you all that your hugs and their prayers meant such a lot to me during my most difficult times this week and the last.

The loss of my brother and a close friend in the space of one week did leave me distraught, but I have settled down a bit and I have all my friends here on NeuroTalk to thank for that. I don't know what I'd have done with out you all to help me get through this.

I'm taking one day at a time. I do still have a lot of bad times, but there are some good times starting to sneak in as well.

What has been so very hard for me is the way my brother died. I was denied notification of his death for 5 days, and then found out only by accident. I just can't seem to get any closure on that.

My brother and I had a lot of issues in the past but I still need to get this limbo thing out of my head. I didn't hear of his death in time to mourn properly, and I didn't hear in time to go to his funeral for closure. How can I grieve the way most families do when I was excluded so totally from his death and dying?

I just will not contact his wife (wife number 2) because it was she who refused to contact any of his/my family when he died.

I still have a lot of issues with this that I've not yet over-come. Hopefully given time, I will but for now I'll continue doing what I did before.

Helping others is something I've done since forever! Wanting to help people is probably the main reason I became a nurse 40 years ago. It's always been an excellent outlet for me and it gives me happiness and great satisfaction. Already since my own tragedy, I've been able to turn that help into something worthwhile, so that I not only help another person, but it helps me forget my pain as well.

Thank you every one. You all mean the world to me.