I am having an easier day than was expecting today (an anniversary date) partly by planning ahead. I have really tried to get ready this month by deciding that today would mark a new type of remembering-remembering happier times. Kind of goes along with a theory I have had for a long time, anyway. What is time is not a line, to be read from left to right? What if it is a circle?

I try to think of my entire life that way, actually, when I remember things. That way, the end result is not the all-powerful event-but moments or days along the way that were great. Kind of like visualizing your life's events on a Lazy Susan-just let it revolve and then pick off what you want to remember.

It also reminds me to keep making as many moments as possible that will be good to remember.

Another thing that is helping today is that I received several really nice and encouraging messages from NT folks.

Loved that Sue You are so right. Thanks for that. You just opened my eyes.

You said you were going to post something, I just didn't know where to look. I like the Lazy Susan idea a lot! May have to try that myself.
Anniversary dates are so awful...and many times anticipating them is worse than the actually date itself. Now it's behind you and next years may be a little easier.

Thank you Alffe, Blue, Lara, and pono.

Sometimes you CAN make your mind up to something and it will kind of follow your orders. I made up my mind so strongly that I was going to feel differently after March 12-and I do. Everyday so far has been better.

GmaSue

Some days it's easier than others to have a good attitude but I really try my hardest.....if not for myself for the others who have to live with me.

Four years after my DH died both my parents passed away with three months of each other. Then, three years after that my sister died. Each loss was different. But they all hurt.

After my DH passed I wasn't sure if I'd ever get back to where I was before. And that was an unrealistic expectation. I never would because I was not the same person. Actually, I was stronger. Took me a while to realize it, but I eventually did.

I decided that even if I didn't feel like putting my best foot forward I was going to anyway. I figured eventually I'd get so used to it that it would become a habit. And once it became a habit it would "grow" on me. Well, for the most part it worked. I still have days where I just want to bury myself in the blankets and never come out. I think we all do whether or not we've suffered a loss or not.

One day at a time......looking too far down the road makes me anxious and unable to concentrate on being the best "me" I can be today!

Thanks for sharing that, Kitty. Those are such good thoughts.

It brought to mind an old folk song I used to love.....
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/joni+mi..._20075378.html
There were LOTS more verses that aren't included here, but it's apt in many ways.
Hugs! 's! - j