My Daily Show

When you look at me
What is it that you see?
Do you see a body uncontrolled
trying to fit into some kind of mold?
Do you see legs looking for a way
of putting one in front of another every day?
Can you see past my clouds of pain
to find the name and purpose that I claim?
Csn you reach over your giant wall
to steady my stance so that i dont fall?
Does my struggle make you turn your head
away from a reality that you may dread?
is it hard for you to watch me try
to walk or smile when you pass by?
Do my movements embarrass you
as they change with every view?
Do you ever wonder where my mind goes
when Im locked in a body, completely froze?

I ask you now to look past this tent
to look past this disease that will not relent
Look past the medications daily toll
of sending me places i don't want to go.
I ask you to try to understand
that this is a life i did not plan
and i get angry and frustrated because i face a fear
that the "me" i know will soon disappear.
There is no way for you to know
what lay behind my daily show.
The only way to explain or define
Parkinsons is to have it, bottome line.
Within my soul my story lies
and to find me, look into my eyes
Once you are there, you then will see
that i have Parkinsons Disease
but it doesn't have me.

Laura J Dean

I just found this site, and I want to THANK YOU for sharing YOU with us. This is probably the most beautiful thing I've ever read, even tho it is bittersweet. You have totally opened yourself up and let US in. How I respect that!! How HARD that must have been for you!

You must be one very STRONG woman, dearheart. I wish I knew you. I know I'd be honored. I'm a chronic pain patient, and you really put me in my place. LOL. I don't think I'll EVER complain again. God bless you ~ I know He has a special place for you. Big Hugs, Lee