Guilty

Feeling guilty all the time,
The feeling won’t go away,
It always haunts me
And there’s nothing I can say.
Feeling guilty all the time,
I can’t escape this feeling,
This guilt eats away at me,
And sends me reeling.
Feeling guilty all the time,
This feeling makes me so blue
I tried to make it right,
But there was nothing I could do...


~Jaime~

Next tag - Sleep, sleeping.

a time to revive
the sleeper's gain
alludes me most nights
don't want to complain.

an ongoing battle
rarely won
oh sleep, where are you
why have you gone

it's never been easy
to stop the mind's patter
so sleep hides away
but what does it matter

I yearn for the bliss
of a night filled with dreams
instead I get nightmares
or just darkness, it seems

my daytime frustrations
go with me to bed
and keep me from sleeping
Oh, to shut off my head...



Tag: sleep/sleeping again, or MOURNING/MORNING, either

(am I playing this game right ??? )

Tribute to children who lit up the world briefly and then were gone:

In a beautiful padded and decorated whiskey box
my little babies lie
safe from all pain and hurt
safe from my nursing procedures
now a little footprint on a card and perhaps a lock of their hair is
enough to jog my memory
of their wee fighting spirits.

The precious girl whose grandma burned her under hot water
she suffered so before she died
I appreciated the privilige that was mine
to enter into her world and show her love and kindness
she always seemed to know I was just trying to help
even when I had to add to her pain.
She is there in a picture of her with a toothless grin.

In the red rose lidded box is the birth card of the baby
born with his spinal cord lying twisted on his back,
and the sweet little one with his intestines outside of his body
and oh my, now I read a eulogy of one of my special ones
who lived 35 hours with only me by her side.
some with footprints only as big as my thumbnail
some old enough to call out for their mom
some I knew for just awhile
Some I cared for so long
they glued their hearts to mine.

Next Tag: Mourning or Reasons

Gmasue I have read this tag poem over and over it is so very good. So touching.
It is like you "gave life" to those babies by sharing your words they came to visit my/our heart and mind.
I have to ask if your were a nurse? I am guessing yes.

I also have to say it is tough to follow after such a deeply touching poem. and as I need to go to post office before I go to work... I will have to come back and do a tag tonight or tomorrow.
but wow what a poem I enjoyed that one very much!!!!!!! Blessings to you Gmasue

Reasons, reasons what are the reasons?
looking for answers to unanswerable questions
trying to make sense out of a senseless world
and worse
a senseless life.
God has saved me many times
and I want
to know
WHY?

what are the reasons... I can't find one.
is just living enough?
I used to think my life was worth something
just because
I had survived.
over and over again.

Reasons? what are the reasons?
tenacious? no
determined? no
will to live? no
purpose in life? no
no no no no no no no.
no reasons - yet.
I'm still looking.
I haven't given up.

TAG: ~~ Horizon -or- Sky

this is really reflective of my mood ... wrote it in about a minute.


nancy

Horizon-for you, Pearlie

When I was just a very little girl
In the front seat of a 1950 Chevy
The Horizon would bring fear to me
Closer, closer, it would loom
Til my heart would cease to beat

Buzzing along to the top of a hill
All of my rational thoughts would stop
On those old 2 lane highways-what a thrill-
You never knew what was just over the top


Closer and closer, til I thought I would bust
What was causing that cloud of dust?
Was it a trucker, too drunk to drive
At the top of the hill, would we still be alive?

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, golly gee!
(That was swearing back then for me)
The top, The horizon, Here it comes
For comfort sucking, I needed 5 thuimbs
The top of the hill
It's here. It's here
Oh
Oh, I see now-
a beautiful valley stretched out below
The rest of the mountain, only flattened out low
I love it, I love it, I love nature, the trees
I'm feeling as giddy as a small Honey bee
We're safe and we're over the tall, scary hill
The Horizon was just hiding a secret-I can feel the thrill still

I hope life is like that, that in the end
We'll see why the suffering was worth it-that it was just a bend
That when we've turned the corner-of the last lonely road
The full view will show us why we lived to be old

Tag: Silly Things

Pearlie, I was just reading your words again, and especially the last refrain-

Correct me if I am wrong, but wouldn't you say that it takes a tenacious, determined, will to live to not give up? You must have all of those things after all.

Dear Sue, I am extremely grateful for wonderful you ... I feel so deeply moved that you wrote that poem for me. You took an interest in me and you touched me - inside where it's hard to reach. Thank you for being the beautiful creature you are, so caring & giving & loving ... I will try to see through your eyes. Don't friends always see each other more kindly than the mirror?? You poem is beautiful; they all are. You are an inspired writer and I'm very glad we are friends.
Love and a BIG (((((hug)))))

to you Pearlie and to all you Taggers- I was just telling mwa that seeing yourself like someone else sees you-such a valuable treasure and so necessary to the survival of us all-is like tickling yourself. Which is very simply why we need each other. You can't tickle yourself-just doesn't work.

Ok-silly things-someone better come up with something, or I will have to start quoting Shel. Love him-especially the head where the butt should be one-high literary genius stuff!

Now THAT was silly-giving us a tag that rhymes with flatulence! I guess we are still stuck on silly, then.