Some time ago, after I was Dx'd, and I knew where my life was headed, I'd state that I was happily on my way to becoming the village idiot. But now that I am almost to that point, I want to tell you, that it is absolutely not a good experience. My memory now is only a faded memory, and my life has turned into a trainwreck. My diabetes doctor wants me to test my blood a mealtimes fourtimes a day. In a week's time, I remembered to test once a day, and I really tried to do what he wanted. I got sent to the diabetes training program and met several great nurses who explained what I should be doing: test once a day, and write down what I eat at each meal. I finally said. Wait..I cannot do that. I am absolutely incapable of doing what you want. I cannot remember to take my medications every day, cannot remember what I ate after i FINISH A MEAL, i HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING MY WAY home....there is no way I will remember anything more than my name. i AM THE VILLAGE IDIOT. and it is not fun, my life is an absolute trainwreck, in shambles. The problem is that intellectually I still function, and I know how bad I screw things up.
So, if anyone is as flippant as I was in thinking that dementia is going to be all right, forget it please, it is no fun. I still have my driver's license, but really I should not be driving and I won't renew it. But, damnit, I need it, I need to get groceries and run occasionally to the hardware store. and I need to get to the Y so that I can get some exercise. I need not to become an absolute burden to my family or to society, and I cannot figure how to avoid being that burden.