I'm so very grateful I believe in a power greater than myself in the universe. I can't say what is right for you, only share my experience.

Personally, I'm very happy to have made it this far! I'll be 48 this year and with the exception of wear and tear on my body, I feel 25 or 30 inside. When I was about 16 years old a woman told me she did not know how old she was. She just never thought about putting a number to her age and handed people her drivers license if she was asked her age. I've always remembered and respected that idea.

I don't know when I am going to die. The way I lived my life for over 20 years was so hard on my body and mind. Basically, I was self medicating for my psych issues...unfortunately I also have an addictive personality. Once I cleaned up and met with a psychaitrist I was able to get on medication (of course it took several years to find the right combination of meds). Maybe I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow, or maybe I'll celebrate my 90th birthday.

All I know is I try to live in the moment as much as possible. It is difficult, but the more I practice, the more I can do it. If left to my own devices, I will create a future in my mind that is all negative. If I live in the moment I can appreciate the sun being out today and look forward to walking my dog in a few minutes. I can avoid a lot of fear by living in the moment, or one day at a time. (Wish I was perfect at it!!)

I like the suggestion of humor. Anything that will take my mind off myself is helpful. Sometimes I call a friend and ask them how they are doing and give them an opportunity to "dump" on me. Often listening to someone else's problems makes mine feel small, or at least gives me an opportunity to get out of my own head for a while.

Take care!!
Dawn & Polar

Yup, I have Depression, myself! I know, that's part of the problem!
I'm on Meds., but, apparently, I need a different combo.,
or, something?? I'd give *anything*, if, I *could* live,
"in, the moment"!!!!!!


Phyllis

how to live in the moment???


Phyllis

....... a 'coloring book' !!

There's no age limit on those !

Do you like to read? Garden?
Do you like animals?
Do a project,....stain your deck.....

......i'm not gonna give up on ya until you tell me where to go!

I'm *not*, *about*, to tell you where to go!!!!!!
You can't know how *much* I appreciate people replying to this
thread and trying to straighten out my warped brain!!!!!!
I do enjoy doing some of the things you posted. Thing is, this thought
doesn't keep me from doing things. The issue is, *while*, I'm doing all
of those other things, I still keep thinking, "I wonder how much longer
I'm going to be able to do all of these things"??? So, how do I go
about doing all of the things that I enjoy, *without*, this thought
popping into my head, constantly, regardless, what I'm doing or,
not, doing??????

Phyllis

your mind isn't 'warped'....not at ALL!

We just need to 'figger out' how to re-program ...... or fill in a gap, so this doesn't continue to consume you.....

hmmmmm........

HOW aBOUT......trying some 'reverse' psychology??
While we are coloring and staining our deck and playing with our puppy.....lets just 'assume' today IS our last day... Live it up as though you paid top-dollar admission fee.

If you can do this without anxiety setting in.......?......
Would this help? ....

This way you're not consuming all this time wondering 'WHEN' it's gonna end?

.......... i am willing to accept the fact that this may have been the absolute stupidest suggestion ever conceived.....so, feel free to start throwing things at me......

I'm glad you have a sense of humor.......

you don't stop putting down your replies to me!!!!!!
You're *here*!!! That's what matters!!!


Phyllis

If you weren't so doggon 'cool', I'd feel as tho I were dodging bullets....

Please know that I am not taking this 'lightly'......I totally DO understand how our minds can turn on us and make every moment miserable.

Case in point: me. right this minute....i'm in a major pain flare......
BUT.....when i look over at the clock I realise a whole hour has gone by without me realizing it...! WHY? Because I'm having a good time, shooting the breeze with you, and lurking around other parts of this wonderful forum...biding the time.
Now, be honest.....have you thought about dying ONCE since we've been posting? I bet not! I bet you've been putting your thoughtlife into what you're gonna say in your next post!

Which reminds me....i was wondering if you suffer from pain? physical pain?
Man howdy doody.....minutes can sometimes seem like hours when the pain decides to set in!!!

To answer your question, no, I don't have *any* *physical*
pain. Only, Depression! That's what I'm saying.
I could deal with *any* amount of *physical* pain, because, that
wouldn't end my life. But, the Depression causes me to think of my life
being over and my not being here, anymore.


Phyllis

I just 'officially' made a brand new FRIEND!
Thank you for sending the friend request!!



This is worth celebrating!!

......i NEVER break out the PARTY HAMSTERS with silly hats unless it's a
fabulous occasion!!