[ponyboy]

East of Midnight on a Saturday evening/Sunday morning... nothing apparently happening... I'm dog-tired from working outdoors all afternoon, putting our swimming pool "to sleep" for the Winter... every part of my body aches... I'm sitting here by myself, snooping aimlessly over the internet at stuff that should interest me... but nothing does. My usual car-oriented websites? There are plenty, but none of them firmly attracts or grabs my attention tonight.
I should probably go to bed, hopefully to sleep, but I'm too awake. What's going on within me? Why am I so acutely aware of all the pessimistic viewpoints of life tonight? Why is my otherwise idle mind busily amplifying and cataloguing all my life's negatives, and consciously avoiding anything which may be considered positive? My mind is racing ahead on cruise control, filming "This is your life" through my rear-view mirror and accentuating everything that I have ever done wrong, highlighting every mistake I've ever made, listing every stupid move (and there have been many) I've made, reviving every problem I've failed to solve, and documenting every faux pas I've had the misfortune to commit.
In short, my depressed mind is apparently experiencing rampant inflation. Times as kaleidoscopically vivid as these make me question the reason in proceeding. Why continue on down an obviously erroneous path? The roadway which many years ago appeared to be the Interstate to successfully achieving my goals in life has deteriorated into a barely detectable trail through the desert wilderness; a trail not driven in comfort but laboriously trod; a trail not simply leading to a dead end, but heading exponentially further into the wasteland, increasingly distant from any desirable or purposeful goal.
Is there no cure for such a short-circuited mind game? A reset button to return the player to "Start"? Or does the following old adage simply hold true?

"You can't win, you can't tie, you can't even quit the game!"

Much love and

[marijo]

You are very well able to write. I have to rush off to drop daughter's boyfriend to station now but later today will send another message most probably a private one.

[Ponygirl]

Sometimes,even things that may "seem" positive, may not be
the most positive things, for us, to be doing.
{{{{{{{{{{{{Gene}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{Gene}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{Gene}}}}}}}}}}}}