Tonight I just feel like the walls are closing in on me. With worrying about my SCS implant Jan 25. worrying about how it would effect me begin I'm only 24. Then to top it off my fiancé keeps asking what I want for Christmas. I keep telling him I really don't want anything. The only things I want I can't have bc we can't offord it. I want a new mattress set. I want a car. I want a house (we live with his parents). I want to be pain free. I want to be dept free. I want kids. I want to be married. But all this seems so so so so far away and when he asks me I just think and think and brings me more down. He doesn't mean it and he is working as hard as he can. I just hate this. Me falling at work and getting injured has really ruined my life almost 4 yrs of it