Find something you like doing I'm told. It just happens that I chose an outrageously expensive sport. I fenced world class athletes a couple of weeks ago and I can only reach that stage if I practice several hours a day more than once a week. Of course most of my opponents were 1/2 my age.

I hate doing things at which I am no good. I almost hope my doctor tells me I'll hurt myself more if I keep fencing.

It's just getting so hard to schlep myself to practice, it costs about $1,000 a weekend for a tournament, (I still can't find a sponsor.) I think the only reason I still do it is because I've got so much money wrapped up in equipment. On one hand I want to quit and on the other I don't.

I don't want to be seen as a quitter.

Well look -- your physical health isn't that great. You DO have some things wrong. You would NOT be considered a "quitter" if you gave it up because of PAIN!!! Anyone would understand that! And ANYONE would do the same thing!

Right now you don't feel so bad because you had the epidural -- but just wait until that wears OFF -- you're gonna feel like HE@#.

And since it's hard for you to get to practice - maybe it's just time to stop cause you're going to be doing your body some damage if you keep this up. Listen to your body. Usually it tells you when it's time to stop. God bless. Hugs, Lee

I've just never neen able to accept the "new" me.

Let me know what he says, okay?

when your depress.you see the world doing well and people are going about their lives.but you.we are always suprise that there are others out there who are in much worst than you.but at the time all we can see is just us ..at the time.that was me

Not to undermine what you are saying. I understand that some people have it worse than me. I feel for them. But this is me.

I am thinking of you. ginnie