her birthday just around the corner
my baby already in their thirties
she is a mother
to the most precious child of God
her network of people in her
outpatient program
took her to the hospital on suicidal watch
how much more Father
heal my child
her heart is receptive
help her fried mind follow
Angels please keep her safe
depression a killer
it's slowly destroying my family
it is killing me
me

Dear Eva,

As always, you and your family are in my thoughts and close to my heart.

These Dark Demons that torment us daily must be fought constantly, lest they drag us into the Pits of Despair.

That is why we have each other.

That is why we have His Light.

Dave.

I'm very sorry to hear this news.

Hopefully she'll receive the help she needs now.
Thankfully she has that network support you mentioned who took her to hospital.

I'll be thinking of her and of you.

My daughter
My children
My nephew
My grandchild
The depression has captured them all
It's in the genes
How sad is it all
How utterly wrenching to watch it at work
Depression at its best
Cunning baffling right there
just ready to jump in and take over your body
and MIND
This I will share
The daunting pressure in my gut
a belly full of worms
Disgusting I know
My brain plucked like a dead chicken
being plucked
My eyes green no more
Only a reminder of what could be
Once called
my green eyed babe
Not to be held or touched with love
I am sure my Father is holding us when falling down
My family
My troubled family
A sister calls way early this morning
wanting to talk
Woke me
But I listened
Cried how my nephew is scared
Scared to start college
All natural and normal
He is anxious about everything
Got her to calm down
Then she says ill call you in a few
That was over an hour ago
Helped her get a laptop with Dell
To return monies in two increments
Yet to get a thank you
Everybody just dump on this idiot
why don't you
Still in the darkness
Trying to pull myself out of it
Tired of hearing myself
Me

Dear Eva,
Your daughter is all ready on the path to dealing with her depression by being smart enough to be in an outpatient program. She is also blessed to have a network of people who care about her enough to take her to the hospital and realize she was in crisis and needed immediate intervention.

She is being cared for Eva and obviously is surrounded by people
who treasure her as much as you do. These are all reasons for hope
Eva.

You, your daughter and entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Diandra

This is so true dear friend
She is out already
Today is another day
And to awake is painful
Awakened I am
To pain
Of every kind
I hate feeling like this
Hate it
Tired I am
Alone I am
Sad I am
Oh just so tired of this sadness
I cannot vomit out
It is there every morning
for me to fight
That's what I'm told
Me

Dear Eva,

You touch my heart every time you write.

You have so very much on your plate. I am not sure of how one person could digest it all?

Mothers love and hope and worry... and more.

It's natural to care deeply about your adult children.

I watch my own mother worry herself sick, often. She is disturbing only her own nights, disrupting only her own sense of Peace, and disrupting only her own health, by continuing to feel she has the power to change her children's minds. She hasn't that power.

She may as well pray with Faith, handing everything over, trusting in Divine Order. Otherwise, she is simply doing some form of penance, she is suffering, and she does not need to suffer in order for others to find their way.

I encourage my mother to give her concerns over to a Higher Power/Divine Order. (For her, Higher Power means her God.)

At some point, parents may benefit from knowing, and accepting, they've already given their best to their children. They may continue to Love their children more than ever; yet, hand the reigns over to their Higher Power. We cannot control what others do anyway, no matter how much we care and how much we try. Oh, I do know - It is all much easier said than done.

I am thrilled to read your daughter had found her way to help, with the help of friends.

Eva, you and your family are also in my thoughts and prayers.

May you feel uplifted by Light and Love,
DejaVu

Oh Eva, I am so sorry for your pain, on so many levels.
I wish I could take it away.
A big hug,
Diandra

I pray the flannel shirt will engulf you and give you peace of mind and body. You are not alone.......He walks with you.



Gerry

dear friend
all you write i believe in myself
it might be difficult to see that
oh how i understand
i AM powerless
and having to turn it over
i do so many times in the day
soon the baby will be able to recite
the serenity prayer
for she hears me say it so many times in my day
the truth is
after my prayer i will thank the Father
and then thank the Son
and then i'll hear her say somewhere in the house
"don't forget Mother Mary"

as my morning started with pain an nausea
quickly i take my first set of meds
and lay on my left side
till they begin to take affect
i have it all to turn over as i cannot do for myself
i have a heavy heart
my children have their own path to follow
and pray their hearts a receptive to our Lord
Jesus Christ
may the Father use me to his liking
it is this gut feeling of doom i must work on
everyday
my friend
i have never
Never experienced a break down
may i have already
i just don't know
i watched a documentary on Mother Theresa
and her personal experiences
and wrote about her feelings
in awe at her loneliness
"to love you must experience pain"
i will pray for my children
as it is all i can do
and then the phone calls
when they are in whatever painful situation
they call mom
to see if i could help
it could be anything
they will call me and
ask for my help
in whatever form needed
sometimes to just listen

i am in a hard core depressive state
trying so hard to not get in the state where i
want to isolate
i ask in Jesus name amen
my recovery program
and my belief in the fellowship
is strong an healthy
and continue to reach out
love
me