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Old 12-27-2014, 04:23 PM   #11
eva5667faliure
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Dear Gerry

January 12th 2012 is my anniversary date
you have been following
i had to change because of the meds my shrink had me on
it did not work with the prozac he put me on lexepo put me in the state i am unable to shake off the desire to go home
It has zero to do with my children
even with all emotional pain inflicted
by my son
never a thought i wish i hadn't had children
it was time to come off of the tamoxifen
and a additional 5years on the new drug
Femera
i have been put on it for about 6 months
and it is this drug that made nausea a all day thing
he sweats are back
oh how i remember those nights changing my pj 2-3 times a night
there is a constant discharge
sometimes it has a hue of pink to it
i will see Mark my Oncologist nest week
i am going to ask him if i could go back on tamoxifen
right now i am on
morning
60mg oxycontin pain twice a day
4mg zanaflex muscle relaxer three times a day
1mg xanax anxiety twice a day
2.5mg femera once a day
100 zoloft once a day
5mg oxycodone once a day break thru

taken with hope for some help

a miracle is what i'm hoping for
in any form that keeps me HAPPY
PLEASE SOME HAPPINESS

I pray that your Christmas was
everything you hoped for

love
us
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eva

Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-28-2014 at 11:47 AM.
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Old 12-27-2014, 07:17 PM   #12
EnglishDave
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Cool Smirk A Smile

If I had but one smile
Left in my life.
I would wish it upon
You.
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Old 12-27-2014, 10:02 PM   #13
eva5667faliure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishDave View Post
If I had but one smile
Left in my life.
I would wish it upon
You.
that is one of the nicest things iv'e ever read beautiful
just beautiful
me
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Old 12-27-2014, 11:13 PM   #14
ger715
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Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
that is one of the nicest things iv'e ever read beautiful
just beautiful
me
Eva,
I have to agree !!!!


Gerry
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Old 12-27-2014, 11:27 PM   #15
ger715
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Dear Gerry

January 12th 2012 is my anniversary date
you have been following
i had to change because of the meds my shrink had me on
it did not work with the prozac he put me on lexepo put me in the state i am unable to shake off the desire to go home
It has zero to do with my children
even with all emotional pain inflicted
by my son
never a thought i wish i hadn't had children
it was time to come off of the tamoxifen
and a additional 5years on the new drug
Femera
i have been put on it for about 6 years
and it is this drug that made nausea a all day thing
he sweats are back
oh how i remember those nights changing my pj 2-3 times a night
there is a constant discharge
sometimes it has a hue of pink to it
i will see Mark my Oncologist nest week
i am going to ask him if i could go back on tamoxifen
right now i am on
morning
60mg oxycontin pain twice a day
4mg zanaflex muscle relaxer three times a day
1mg xanax anxiety twice a day
2.5mg femera once a day
100 zoloft once a day
5mg oxycodone once a day break thru

taken with hope for some help

a miracle is what i'm hoping for
in any form that keeps me HAPPY
PLEASE SOME HAPPINESS

I pray that your Christmas was
everything you hoped for

love
us


You sure have quite a lot there. Nausea is one of the worst things personally will bring me close to tears. Hope you can get that changed.

I take 60 mgs Oxycontin ever 6 hrs = 4 a day and the Oxycodone (Percocet) 7.5 mg's up to 4 a day for break thru. They really help when pain breaks thru to bring it a little more tolerant.

Also take Vallium which is not only for anxiety but for muscle pain. The Vallium really does help with the muscle pain. The nightly Ambien CR really helps get a decent amount of sleep. It seems to act like anesthetic . No pain for at least a little while.

I really hope you can find the right medication for the depression. Pain brings depression; but it seems like you are dealing with more than just depression from pain.


Gerry
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Old 12-28-2014, 12:07 AM   #16
St George 2013
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Default Dearest Eva :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
how have you been dealing with
the ever caring devil that gets to
screw with me quite a bit
for a very long time
and it baffles me that God will
allow him to screw with me for so long
not months
most my life
like i written in the past
a gray cloud over my family

i am ever so sorry you are bed ridden
that makes me sad
there is so much laundry
a sixteen year old who is the laziest
of all my children
and in puts a strain on our relationship
things that are expected especially in
the common areas
this is a job in itself

do you have a loved one that cares and listens (STILL)
as we go through what we do

my eldest daughter Saraeve my angel
expressed how angry she is at my illness
this from a woman whose life was cut at the knees @ 23
she was kicking butt
had to change her career
she is a recognized poet
and a publishing company
will be publishing a "BOOK"
that's is right a book
how awesome is that
a epileptic
2 brain surgeries
removal of part of her occipital lobe
removed
the trade off permanent blindness
10 years of depression
as she still suffers
it was not successful
and now has a VNS implant in her chest area

she too suffers
clinical depression
i have four children
and a grand mama
i'm called mimma

i hope your funk
leaves you in one breath

dear Lord
let debi and myself
feel some relief
in Jesus name
thank you for being a friend
and has made me understand
she too is in a awful funk
sending you hugs of love
me
Sweet Eva....first time I've been on since I wrote to you. 4 days of steroids have helped me very much but I know it won't last. I'll take these few days and enjoy them and pray the bad days stay away for awhile.

I'm Grammy to my grandchildren...ages 8 to 17. My son lost his way in June but found us again this month. He had to find his way back by himself. Nothing I could do for him at that point. Finally stood up for myself for the first time ever with either of my kids. After what I've been through I realized I have to protect myself, my sanity, my happiness.

I think of you often and hope you get relief.

Your daughter is an amazing woman ! I know you are so proud of her.

And yes, I have a 'someone' to talk to. I also have a wonderful daughter that listens to me, cooks for me and is who I rely on for almost everything. She has strong shoulders that girl of mine.

Take care and know I'm thinking of you sweet Lady

Debi from Georgia
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Old 12-28-2014, 01:14 PM   #17
eva5667faliure
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Default how much more sadness must i go through

well the days of a new year i upon us shortly
the cold is here to much to do just to get ready to go anywhere
my eyes open
find i have slept in fetal position all night
then to stretch out my body
take my morning meds with hot coffee
to get it in my system as quick as possible
and strong coffee with the headache i have
every morning doctors orders
rather than taking otc pain relief
and then i'll pinch the skin between my my thumb
and pointer finger
try it sometimes
especially when it's kicking
my gut is empty
waiting for my belly laughs
i do not know what happened to me
in every way
does this mean the devil gets a piece of me
it is not him i seek
it is my Almighty Father with that worn flannel shirt
that has the smell of true love
my angels who are my protectors
as i ask the angels assigned to watch over
each of my family members

i do not know why i am in this terrible
funk

well the years are coming and going
hope to still have the opportunity
for love in my life from a human being
who is open to getting to know and
come to love who i am
in Jesus name
who can make anything happen

the happiness of my children
priority

yet i don't want to be forgotten

Father i love you and must trust in you

those who feel as i do and cannot shake it
don't do anything at all
there Will be another day love
me
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Old 12-28-2014, 04:01 PM   #18
St George 2013
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Default Our dear eva :)

Who would ever forget your dear, sweet, wonderful writings ?

You walk with the Father and keep the faith for a lot of us on here.

Good things are coming your way. I have faith.

Debi from Georgia
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Old 12-28-2014, 05:38 PM   #19
eva5667faliure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by St George 2013 View Post
Who would ever forget your dear, sweet, wonderful writings ?

You walk with the Father and keep the faith for a lot of us on here.

Good things are coming your way. I have faith.

Debi from Georgia
thank you for remembering

that was a present

in disguise

this is a wonderful place

AMEN
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Old 12-28-2014, 06:14 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post

well the years are coming and going
hope to still have the opportunity
for love in my life from a human being
who is open to getting to know and
come to love who i am
in Jesus name
who can make anything happen

the happiness of my children
priority

yet i don't want to be forgotten
In this World I believe there is someone for everyone. For a Soul as loving as yours there is someone special. Perhaps they are already in your life, perhaps they will come tomorrow - but they will come.
Take time for your Good Self, you are worth more than you know.
Dave.
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